The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #18

June 1, 2011 - Another One Bites the Dust

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Series number eighteen.

Michelle: I am still getting over that European trip.

Barack: Me too. The Memorial Day weekend festivities, visiting Joplin, Missouri. Man, I am tired.

Michelle: What was your favorite part of the trip?

Barack: Ireland of course! What a welcome. And I really enjoyed Moneygall. That beer was delicious.

Michelle: That beer was disgusting! I really enjoyed being at Buckingham Palace. The Queen was so nice to us. And I appreciate the apology from Prince William for not inviting us to his wedding.

Barack: Yeah! I was really embarrassed when I was giving the toast to the Queen and that dumb band interrupted me.

Michelle: You could see the embarrassment on your face. Actually, you looked pissed. It was kind of funny!


Barack: Oh, yeah. Well you should have seen your face when you tripped on the carpet while holding out your hand to the Queen. She looked at you like you had just let go of a stinky. Ha ha ha!

Michelle: She did not!

Barack: Yes. She did!

Michelle: Even though I liked Buckingham Palace, it is a cold place. I could never live there full time. I didn't get much sleep. It seemed like ghosts were hovering above my bed.

Barack: Well, I enjoyed the warm welcome at Westminster Hall!

Michelle: I'm just glad you watched your mouth and stuck to the script.

Barack: Here we go again. Michelle it was a good trip! Things went well in France and Poland...

Michelle: Don't even go there Barack! Lech Walesa wouldn't even meet with you! Fat bastard! He looks like the inside of a polska kielbasa!

Barack: Now Michelle. You can't let anyone hear you say that. President Walesa said he had plans to visit Italy and that we could meet another time.

Michelle: No! He said, and I quote "I expect this meeting would only amount to a photo opportunity." Snubbed again, Barack. This time by that pierogi!

Barack: Pierogi?

Michelle: Yes. Fried dumpling stuffed with potato filling!

Barack: C'mon Michelle! Chicago has a large Polish population and many are supporters.

Michelle: I'm not talking about Chicago. In Poland, our greeting was lukewarm at best. Unlike in Ireland, France and Great Britain.

Barack: I think the media is just trying to play up the exclusion of Poland from the US visa waiver program. I have Hilary working on it.

Michelle: Yeah, right.

Barack: Michelle, sometimes your criticisms go in one ear and out the other.

Michelle: That's because you don't have anything in your head to slow it down! (hands on hips, head, neck and eyes rolling)

Barack: Well, what has really been on my mind is the folks in Joplin. What a tragedy. Some people have lost everything. This has been a bad season for floods and tornadoes.

Michelle: It has. I am glad you went there and will speed up federal aid to that area. God be with those people. I see that Sarah Palin and Donald Trump met in New York.

Barack: Really? Did someone instruct her that New York is on the east coast and not north of California? Ha ha ha!!! Trump and Palin couldn't have had much of a conversation. I don't think Sarah knows any words with more than five letters. This is going to be an easy election.

Michelle: But the economy still hasn't come back yet. Don't forget Bush in 1992. He thought he was in a good position. Well, 'Healer-in-Chief' you did have a bit of good news with the Census Report, huh?

Barack: Yeah, the conservatives are getting mighty nervous. The Hispanic population is growing at a faster rate than any other demographic. In 2004, 5.1 million Hispanics voted for Democratic candidates, 4.3 million for Republicans. In 2008, the ratio changed, with 7.8 million voting Democratic and 3.6 million voting Republican. Every 30 seconds a Hispanic person turns 18. Texas will be mine!

Michelle: Well, I am thrilled by the Hispanic numbers. Good news for sure!

Barack: Yep. So while the conservatives debate my birth certificate and other ridiculous things and want to build their fence along the borders, our Hispanic friends are watching their nonsense and registering as Democrats. Yessss!!! I mean, the Republicans don't even have a plan to defeat me. If the best they have is a birth certificate, I advise them to listen to the words of Freddy Mercury.

Michelle: Oh? What would those words be?

Barack: (Barack begins singing) "Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man, And bring him to the ground. You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad and leave him when he's down, yeah. But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you, I'm standing on my own two feet. Out of the doorway the bullets rip, repeating to the sound of the beat! Yeah! Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! And another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust! Yeah! Hey! I'm gonna get you too! Another one bites the dust! Shoota!" (end of singing)

Michelle: Your singing is worse than your dancing!

Barack: (singing again) Palin - another one bites the dust! Trump - another one bites the dust! Pawlenty - another one bites the dust! Cain - another one bites the dust! Bachmann - another one bites the dust! Romney - another one bites the dust! Shoota! (end of singing)

Michelle: (rolls her eyes) Oh, God!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

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Comments 34 comments

Sunnie Day 5 years ago

hahahahaha so funny..you made my day..Thanks Dexter..

Sunnie


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunnie! Always a pleasure to see you smile!


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

This one is the funniest one yet!

I didn't get the email that you published another hub, I think HP is trippin'.

I knew there were ghosts in the Palace!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cardisa! Thank you. I laughed pretty hard putting it together! Boo! Yes...ghosts in the palace!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Hilarious!

I almost felt sorry for him when I saw that awful toast. It made me cringe. There are people who are supposed to coach him on this stuff!


PK2010 profile image

PK2010 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Dex! One word - genius! This is so funny, yet depicts wit and intelligence not to mention a very strong sense of imagination. I think I missed the one before this one. The amazing thing is when I read I try to picture the scenario in my head which makes it even more enjoyable. I love the Freddy M addition! Fab. Great stuff. Will look out for the next one :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

Ha ha... I really liked the end. So, Obama can sing. I hear you say "yes, he Can".

I particularly enjoyed this one because I followed them closely on SKYNews when they came to UK. They gave us a lot of coverage.

Great Stuff. Thanks.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Will, always a pleasure when you comment. I actually thought it was funny when the toast was screwed up. President Obama looked like he wanted to open up a can of whoop ass! And Her Highness looked perturbed as well! Thanks!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thank you, Anthea! I REALLY appreciate your kind words. I had no intention of doing the Freddy Mercury bit. It just came to me when I was finishing. I had to change things around to accomodate it. This is one of my personal favorites!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Lady_E! Thanks for reading. Obama CAN sing and does a fantastic Freddy Mercury routine! Thank You!


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Ha ha, very cute


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Fossillady! Thanks for checking it out.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..damn !!!!! I just can't get enough of this already legendary series of the morning conversations of who know who .......one of the greatest 'inventions' ever at Hubpages .......


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Epi! I am so glad you stopped in. Always good to have a GREAT man read my work. Thank you.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

voted up and funny.


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Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thank you, Dahoglund. I appreciate your vote!


Ghost32 5 years ago

This IS a great series. I even hope it's spot-on accurate, especially the part about Barack so massively underestimating the Republicans in general and Sarah Palin in particular...:)

But most of all, you got me with his singing. Especially since we've not heard him do THAT yet...have we?

Voted Up and Stuff.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Ghost, it is a supreme compliment to have you vote up this hub. You seem to always catch the underlying message. Thanks so much!


iZeko profile image

iZeko 5 years ago

Ha ha ha! These conversations are getting better and better...


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Izeko! Thanks so much. Glad you are enjoying!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Just what the doctor ordered. Thank you for the morning laugh.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Glad you enjoyed the laugh, Sueswan!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Love it! Man, oh man. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to these conversations. :-D


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Mo! This is actually my favorite of the series!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

great! I love these hubs! When ever I need a good laugh I will stop here~ you are awesome! keep up the awesome and great job! Blessings! :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Jo! Your comments made my day! Blessings to you as well!


fashion 5 years ago

What a wonderful hub.I love these hubs.

You are doing good job.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

I appreciate your comments, Fashion!


Man from Modesto profile image

Man from Modesto 5 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California)

Funny!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Man from Modesto! Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed it!


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 4 years ago

You've really captured the essence of their relationship Dexter. So real ):

Did you catch the open poetry nite @ the whitehouse [May 2011] with Jill Scott, Common, Rita Dove et al..? [youtube]

UP!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Ashantina! That open poetry night was awesome!


alian346 profile image

alian346 4 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

Hi Dexter.

I remember that incident at the State Banquet - watched it live and wanted the floor to open and swallow him up - sooooo embarrassing!

Mr Obama has excellent taste in music! Have you seen the video for 'I want to break free.'??!?

Again - your perception is very acute........

Ian.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Ian! Not only was it embarrassing, it was funny from afar! I will check out the video. Thanks so much, sir!

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