The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #20

June 15, 2011 - Foot and Mouth Disease

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 20 in the series.

Michelle: [hands on hips - head, neck and shoulders swiveling with attitude] How dare you, Barack? How stupid can you be?

Barack: Now, Michelle. Calm down.

Michelle: Stupid, stupid, stupid! [a Secret Service Agent quickly peeks into the White House kitchen]

Barack: [to the SSA] Everything is OK.

Michelle: The hell it is! You stuck your foot in your mouth again!

Barack: Michelle, please stop yelling.

Michelle: I have told you repeatedly to stick to the script!

Barack: I know but Ann Curry caught me off guard with that question.

Michelle: Are you sure you were trained to be an attorney? What do you mean caught off guard? You could have simply said, 'no.'

Barack: Well, uh....

Michelle: And where do you get off making statements about the family without talking to me first?

Barack: What are you talking about?

Michelle: You nut! I'll quote what you said on the TODAY show. “Michelle and the kids are wonderful in that if I said, ‘You know what guys, I want to do something different,’ they would be fine,’’ you said. “They’re not invested in daddy being president or my husband being president ... If family is doing well and Michelle is still putting up with me, then I've got enough energy to keep doing the work that I’m doing.’’


Barack: What's wrong with what I said?

Michelle: What's wrong is that I never told you I wasn't invested in you being president. If I wasn't invested, I would not be here. This family has been through hell for the last 4 years of campaigning and you being president. I would call that being invested.

Barack: Well, what I was saying is that...

Michelle: No! What you did once again is put your mouth in motion before putting your mind in gear!

Barack: Michelle, that's not a nice thing to say.

Michelle: We are "not invested" is a dumb thing to say! [begins to walk away]

Barack: [holds Michelle's arm] Stick a foot in it Michelle!

Michelle: [looks at Barack's hand on her arm and then looks in his eyes] Niggah, have you lost yo' mind?

Barack: [releases Michelle's arm] I was simply trying to say that the family is supportive of me if I decided that one term was enough.

Michelle: See, that is your problem, Barack. It is not just about you. It is about getting this country back on track. I am invested in you. Our daughters are invested in you. The voters invested in you. You see, it is about this high-ass unemployment rate, people losing their homes and these high-ass gas prices my girlfriends keep texting me about and....

Barack: I am aware of this, Michelle...

Michelle: Shut up, Barack! I am not done!

Barack: Shut up?

Michelle: Is there an echo in here?!

Barack: Who are you telling to shut up?!

Michelle: [looks around the room] Do you see anyone else in this room?

Barack: Now you listen here, woman!

Michelle: Don't you give me that "woman" jazz!

Barack: Don't you give me that jazz, woman!

Michelle: Ohhh, so you baaaddd now, huh, Mr. President?!

Barack: [silent]

Michelle: [breathing heavily, still angry]

Barack: [begins laughing] I haven't seen you this mad since that time about 10 years ago at Ed Debevic's restaurant in Chicago.

Michelle: [still angry] What are you talking about?

Barack: When the waitress came to our table. She smiled at me and then frowned at you and asked, 'What the hell do you want?'

Michelle: That heifer was rude!

Barack: Yeah, that is the theme of the restaurant, Michelle! The waitresses are "paid" to be rude.

Michelle: You should have told me that!

Barack: Yes, I should have because you grabbed that lady's hair and almost snatched her bald-headed! [laughing hysterically]

Michelle: Ha ha ha! It didn't matter! Her hair was so short, you could see her thinking! [also laughing hysterically]

Barack: But seriously, Michelle, I was just stating that if I just wanted one term, it would be alright. I also backed it up by saying, in so many words, that we are in it to win it.

Michelle: What you did was give your enemies and wavering supporters ammunition to either attack or jump the fence.

Barack: By what I said?

Michelle: Your choice of words, Barack! Your poor choice of words! Ask your advisers! We didn't "invest" in you for one term.

Barack: Alright. You still love me?

Michelle: Of course. But as I head off to my meeting, let me leave you with these words that Momma use to tell me when I got sassy with her.

Barack: And what would those words be?

Michelle: "Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cover!"

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time! - Dexter Yarbrough

Copyright 2011.

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Comments 42 comments

Hollie Thomas profile image

Hollie Thomas 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Entertaining.


kayrod profile image

kayrod 5 years ago from Northridge, CA

Funny!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Hollie! Thanks!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Kayrod! Glad you liked it!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

So, is Michelle calling herself Barack's behind? Hmmmm....that makes this conversation take an interesting turn! I think we need to hear the rest.

Dexter, too funny! I love this!


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Dexter, Dexter, Dexter.......what will Obama do next..huh!

Those pictures, I was wondering if they were fake, especially those of Michelle. They realy look angry! Wow, don't jazz me man!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mo! Thanks so much! More is sure to come!!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cardisa! Michelle is a sista from the hood when she wants to be! The pictures are real. She certainly shows her emotions on her face quite well!


PK2010 profile image

PK2010 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Thumbs up on this one. OB should be cowering. Great read, keep'em coming!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

You have outdone yourself this time. I believe this happened, I believe. I also believe that Michelle slapped Obama up against the wall and leaned in real close saying, "i am not ready to give up being First Lady, do you hear? Now go get me a cheeseburger! Up and oh so funny and awesome.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....well as you know I rave about this masterpiece/signature piece of yours to EVERYONE - and I often wonder what the real White House couple would think - they would probably get a big kick out of it - and I love your well chosen pictures too - you know that old saying - a picture tells a thousand words


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Anthea! Yeah, BO is about scared right now! lol


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Pop! Thanks so much! I think MO opened up a can of whup ass on BO! Ha ha ha!!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Epi! You are a great friend and supporter and I really appreciate your help! I would like the Prez and First lady to see this. Thanks to you I am working on it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

I agree. I think Michelle could thump Obama's skinny butt anytime she wanted.

Will she have anything to say about Obama wasting a trillion taxpayer dollars and then making a bad joke about it?


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Will, yes she has something to say about that. She rode him hard today so she is giving him a break! Soon! Thanks!


Sueswan 5 years ago

"Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cover!" LOL

Barack may be the President but Michelle is the boss.

Another great hub Dexter.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

You said a mouthful, Sueswan! Michelle is BOSS!!! Thanks so much!


Ghost32 5 years ago

Another great one, Dexter. I watched that interview; Michelle and Barack BOTH have the right of it--but as any married man knowns, the tie goes to the wife.

The tie, the shirt, the pants, the...heck, it ALL goes to the wife!

Voted Up and a Bunch.


caltex profile image

caltex 5 years ago

Dexter, they just keep getting better and so real. If I were Michelle, I'll just do exactly whatever you write here. You make her look good! :D

Thanks much for writing them. I hope you won't ever get tired.


iZeko profile image

iZeko 5 years ago

That was funny, funny, funny! "Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cover!" ;-D And the pictures are just priceless!

Let me now press all the buttons up there…, except “vote down”, “flag” and “print”, of course.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Tie and everything goes to the wife! You are right Ghost! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Caltex! I love writing Michelle's part! She is a bad woman! I will keep these coming!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Izeko! You are so kind! Thanks for your support!


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

ha, ha, ha, that was so funny! You have some imagination. I guess we know who's running the White House, hum? I really enjoyed this. You may have just inspired me to write a hub similar to this; something I've been meaning to put down on paper for a while and haven't. I'm glad I stopped by.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi FaithfulDaughter! Yes, Michelle is in control. I am glad this hub inspired you. Thanks for checking it out!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....Dexter my man !!!!! It is my life's mission to send EVERYONE here to see and read this - lol - and believe me , I am doing 'just that' - and here is one for you - check out DRBJ's legendary interview series with famous people .....


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dexter,

This is hysterical- amazingly clever! I am W A Y behind so will be catching up and keeping up with this showcase of your cool sense of humor. We sure need more laughs these days!

Voted UP & FA-- have a good evening, mar.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Epi! Thanks so much. I have checked out DRBJ and am following him. He has some great stuff - just as you do, sir!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Marcoujor! Laughter is a beautiful thing. I hope you enjoy the others as well. Thanks so much!!!


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

up and funny. A little scary too.I truly think this administration has not lost its way because it never found it in the first place.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Dahoglund! Thank you. Yes, there are certainly some problems that need to be addressed. But will they?


bethperry profile image

bethperry 5 years ago from Tennesee

Voted up, Dexter. Very funny!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi BethPerry! Thank you!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

Hello Dexter! I just really love these hubs on our President! you and the hubs are priceless! love!

love! it! thumbs up..take care and blessings


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Jo! I always appreciate your kind words.


fashion 5 years ago

very funny.........

You are a great man.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Fashion!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Dexter, this one made the Obamas more down to earth and the real deal! I love it and them! Obama in 2012! I don't want these morning conversations to ever end!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! Thank you so much. I try to make them appealing or not so appealing, depending upon the situation! Michelle does a great job in keeping him honest!


lyns profile image

lyns 5 years ago from USA

Lol, I thoroughly enjoyed this..I wonder if Michele and Obama would, anyway I'm glad I click on this I thought it was giving an update on what's going on with Washington, but I got so much more a good treat, thanks so much for sharing I have got to read your hubs very nice I gave this an up, interesting, great although that not there and of coures it made me laugh. Have a great evening


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Lyns! Thank you so much for visiting and reading my hub. I hope you do check out some of the others. I think you will enjoy them! And thanks so much for the votes!

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