The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #23

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August 15, 2011 - The Help

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 23 in the series.

Barack: (entering the White House kitchen) Good morning, Michelle! What are you doing?

Michelle: Thinking of a new travel destination. You know I have been criticized for my excessive travel!

Barack: Yeah, I know.

Michelle: Like, I can't go and visit my brother and his family. And take my daughter and mother along. It's that double standard that still bothers me. Some of it is steeped in ignorance and some in racism.

Barack: Racism, Michelle? I don't know.

Michelle: Hell yes, racism! Laura Bush got a $700.00 haircut for the 2005 inauguration. Not much was said about that! Laura Bush went on vacation and took her girlfriends and an entourage of 25 people. Not much said about that. And it cost the taxpayers $20 million dollars flying the Bushes back and forth to their vacation home in Crawford, Texas.

Barack: True.

Michelle: True. But my black ass is supposed to stay in Washington and sit around and eat fried chicken!

Barack: (breaks into hysterical laugh)

Michelle: You're laughing. I'm not!

Barack: (continues to snicker) I'm sorry!

Michelle: Yeah, right. Bush spent almost 500 days at his Texas ranch and almost 500 days hanging out at Camp David! I wasn't elected to an office, you were. I will go on vacation when I like and I will visit my family when I like. It's OK for the white man to take as many vacations as he wants. But let a non-elected black woman take a vacation, hell breaks loose.

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President Warren G. Harding
President Warren G. Harding

Barack: I understand. I was elected, not you. And it is unfair for people to take political shots at you. Things cost money. I guess you are supposed to fly around the country with no security and no aides.

Michelle: Right!

Barack: And if you were to take the girls to Burger King, people would criticize you for the expense surrounding that outing.

Michelle: Yeah, and they would say that I was being lavish in buying my kids a meal when the economy is depressed.

Barack: Michelle! Shhhhh...remember we don't use the "D" word around here!

Michelle: Barack...stuff it! See, this is why many black's and Latino's can't stand these conservatives and Tea Party people. Hypocrisy! When white people do stuff, it is OK. When black people do stuff, its over-analyzed, seen in a different light - a black light - and marginalized.

Barack: Well, Michelle, I don't think it is a white/black issue entirely. I mean...

Michelle: Niggah, please! Sometimes white people have selective memory. They stole this land from the American Indians and turn red in the face when Mexicans cross the border for a better life. Black people still have not totally recovered from the effects of many whites and their ancestors' ignorance, racism, silence and hatred, yet, we are not supposed to complain when obvious prejudice and discrimination slaps us in the face.

Barack: Well, true, but the country has moved forward. I mean look at us, in the White House. First black president.

Michelle: That earns you another 'Niggah please!' John Hanson was the first president, let alone black president and Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge hid their African ancestry. Look it up!

Barack: I am sorry this has upset you so!

Michelle: I'm not upset, just venting! And remember their rule. If you have one drop of "black" blood, you 'sho is a Kneegrow!' Which now brings me to the movie "The Help."

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Barack: I was grateful to have that special White House viewing of the movie.

Michelle: So was I. But the point I am trying to make is that some things change and some things remain the same. The events in this movie were not long ago. The 1960's were not long ago, Barack! Many whites are still telling lies on black people or sitting in silence when it comes to black people, so that they can keep their status among their white friends and neighbors.

Barack: But not all white people...

Michelle: I did not say all, I said many! See, racism and discrimination is cloaked in masterfully written words and nice smiles. Remember that part towards the end of the movie when the maid had been accused of stealing? Her employer knew that she didn't steal a thing, but stood there in silence while her friend leveled false accusations.

Barack: That was hard to watch. Then she fired her - after this maid had spent all of those years cooking and cleaning and raising her children.

Michelle: Exactly.

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Barack: Yeah and when Cicely Tyson's character was fired after being with that family all of her life. Fired in one day, just because that white lady needed to play the society part in front of her friends. Cicely Tyson's character died of a broken heart. I was moved to tears.

Michelle: Yeah, I saw you, crybaby!

Barack: Don't you tell anybody!

Michelle: Please! You have been seen crying before! Or were you faking it?

Barack: Stop!

Michelle: Remember that part where they built a separate toilet for the black maids because they carry "diseases?"

Barack: Yeah! Black people can't sit on your toilets because they carry diseases, but they can cook your food and take care of your children! Ridiculous!

Michelle: So, when you were running for election and I said that for the first time in my adult life I was proud of my country, it had to do with the effort of many people of different races coming together in support of your election.

Barack: I know. People were using that to attack you.

Michelle: Yep. And while I am proud of many things this nation has accomplished, I am not proud of the theft of land this nation committed against the American Indians. I am not proud of slavery and the vestiges of racism and discrimination that still exist. I am not proud that this nation has led its people into unnecessary wars. I am not proud of the political assassinations of politicians and the character assassinations on black men and women. And as a woman, I am not proud of the way women have been treated.

Barack: I hear you.

Michelle: I am proud of my education, profession and the accomplishment of reaching the White House with you. But I don't need anybody, white, black or otherwise telling me what I should be proud of.

Barack: I talked to a friend the other day that went to a public movie theatre to see it. He said the whites that he could see appeared very uncomfortable with the scenes of deliberate racism, but roared at the humorous scenes involving the black maids.

Michelle: It should have been uncomfortable. As long as we are singing,dancing, throwing a ball around or telling jokes, we are wonderful. As soon as we start making decisions, policies and leading, we are criticized and ostracized.

Barack: Yeah, I know.

Michelle: I don't care about being criticized. As a black person, we are criticized the moment we are born. I don't care for the hypocrisy. If it was alright for Laura, Hillary, Barbara, Nancy, Rosalynn, Betty, Pat, Lady Bird and on and on, don't start making separate rules for me.

Barack: I agree!

Michelle: The world is filled with many whites that truly don't let prejudice and racism lead them in their actions, thoughts and words. Many are our friends and I love them.

Barack: I know. Not everyone is the same. There are bad people and those with agendas in all races.

Michelle: Yeah. It's those vicious, evil ones that play lip service to race relations when their agenda is for black folks to be back on a plantation...criticizing us for a "black liberation theology" while they saunter off to their separated and segregated churches! Soon as a black person walks in, they start staring and whispering and gossiping! Sure would be a rude awakening on judgment day when they awaken from the grave and find out God has an afro, has a slice of watermelon in front of him and has a love for grape soda and purple Cadillacs!

Barack: (laughing hysterically) Michelle, you are too funny! I'm surprised you didn't mention fried chicken!

Michelle: (laughing) God doesn't seems to be into fried chicken. And certainly not hogmog, fatback, chitlins, pork loins and hotlinks. He seems to be more into salads and fruit! Ha ha ha!!!

Barack: I think it is really great that we can have these private conversations. You know, a lot of white people wouldn't be able to handle the truth of what black people have to say, just like in the movie. From all the unnecessary flack and challenges, I am sure some see us as "The Help."

Michelle: Well, hopefully, many will go to see the movie. Maybe they will see the similarities in how we were treated in the 1960's and how we are today. Yes, in many ways different. But, in many ways, the same. No whips, chains and ropes. Just words and better technology.

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time! - Dexter Yarbrough

Copyright 2011.

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Comments 61 comments

TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Thank you for giving me a view from your eyes Dexter. Your view is much different than mine, but is equally as important as mine. Perhaps in a private venue, we can discuss this as friends. We won't change one another's mind, but speaking for myself, seeing through someone elses'eyes makes me be a better me. I WILL say this .. There is no such thing as a complete absence of prejudice, but I'm the least prejudice person I know. The prejudice that I seem to be stuck with isn't anywhere close to Black. I played football, and I'd be in a wheel chair if it weren't for my black brothers. I love em and would take a bullet for any one of them. Maybe everyone should be required to play football. There wouldn't be near as many hang ups.

Good stuff my friend. Maybe we'll do a project together and show folks how friends can respect one another without agreeing with each other on everything. These idiots who call themselves patriots because they can hurl insults at the other side and launch personal attacks make me sick. You're a good man.

jim


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Jim! Thanks so much for sharing your perspective. I appreciate you more than you know and we are probably closer to beliefs than apart!

I think you and my other readers should know that when I write these, I am NOT speaking for myself. I get thoughts and opinions from others I know and speak through the Obama's. On this particular one, the majority of the thoughts and opinions came from black people that had just seen the movie.

This series really is fictional and satirical. Fun is poked at the Obama's for some of their flaws and hypocrisy as well as others. In actuality, "Michelle" gets on "Barack" even worst than some of his political enemies.

So for anyone reading, especially new visitors, these are not necessarily my views. It is satirical and humorous (I hope) with an intended message for anyone who seeks truth and understanding.

Thanks again, Jim! I would look forward to working with you anytime!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Dexter. This is a great addition to your series. Don't take this the wrong way, but both of us seem to be caught in the 'kitchens of our own making' with our individual series. Just an odd thought.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mckbirdbks! Thanks for checking it out. I get your point. Yes. Thanks, again!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Ah, Dex, I see you are into the interviewing mode, too. As you know, it's one of my favorite vehicles to express one's views. You did an excellent job with this one.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Dex - loved it. I'm especially anxious to get a ride in God's purple Cadillac when He takes me home! :D And, Michelle is wrong, wrong, wrong - God loves Fried Chicken - it's damn near the closest thing on earth to actual Heaven!


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Hello Dex!

Good Morning,

Another good hub..I knew you had gathered thoughts from many on this hub and you have a way of putting it all together in such an entertaining way..

Have a great day,

Sunnie


Terri Meredith profile image

Terri Meredith 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

Hey there Dex!

"God...has a slice of watermelon in front of him..." I joked on my own slice of watermelon while reading that! I'm glad to say I no longer sport an afro since that fad died out in the late 70's...white girls just do not look good wearing giant permed in afro's. Funny how we whites try to mimic black traits while just as many blacks try to mimic the white ones by straightening their hair or dying it blonde. We sure are a mixed up mess of a race. Good hub!


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

The first time I read on of your 'conversations' I thought, "damn, you gonna get fired for ratting out the president. Aren't White House employees sworn to secrecy or something?"

You do this so well, as if you were actually there.


Ghost32 5 years ago

First of all, Dex, I need to know how deep you had to dig to find that awesome vintage "Abraham Africanus the First" cartoon!

The Help is a classic example of an entire "category" of movies I prefer NOT to watch. Not because I "don't get it", but because I get it all too well--and facing the silver screen to have it pounded through my corpuscles is truly hazardous to my health.

Referring to Presidents with African DNA: In the fifties and the sixties, among rural white folks in Montana, anyway, a person was sometimes "suspected" of "having a [n-word] in the woodpile".

Being rather literal-minded, I always wondered, "Why the freaking woodpile?" I mean, how on Earth would anyone even be ABLE to hang out in a pile of firewood?

Being rather bigoted against bigots, I always thought, "Probably strenthened their bloodline just like crossbreeding does with cattle, horse, and hogs."

There's no doubt whatsoever that racism (to one degree or another) is still with us--regular or reverse flavor, either one--and will always be. Heck, got three strangers of any sort in the same room in the morning, and by noon, each two will be plotting against the thid.

[*Slight exaggeration applied to make the point.*]

But that doesn't mean it's not worth the effort to hold the problem down to as low a roar as possible.

Voted Up and Across.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Dexter, I love this. I want to see the movie, and i will. Your satire is funny and thought provoking. We need more interaction with all races. Thank you.

Cheers(:


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Nice one, Dex. You really have a talent in putting these conversations together - I don't know how you do it! Voted Up!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Bush was criticized for vacationing and now it's Obama's turn.

In addition, it's all about perception. The perception is that a recession is on, and people are suffering, so the Obama vacations are seen as 'Let them eat cake', excessive in time of national suffering.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Drbj! Thanks! Michelle was on a roll!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Motown2Chitown! Thanks! You are just as funny as Michelle!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunnie! Yes, I did! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Terri, thanks so much for your words of wisdom! And truth! Thank you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cardisa! Ha ha ha!!! There is a little bird that tells me everything that goes on!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Ghost! Always a pleasure to see you drop in and leave such great comments!

That cartoon was hard to find but perseverance won out!

Your wisdom is so profound!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Always Exploring! You will enjoy it! And you are right!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Cloverleaf! Michelle was not in a very good mood that day - I am told! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Will! From your lips to Michelle's ears! Thanks!


moonlake profile image

moonlake 5 years ago from America

I saw The Help last week and loved it. It reminded me of my family they lived in the same type of shacky homes. I can remember standing on the porch of a home just like the ones they showed in the movie.

My people worked the cotton fields. My great-aunt went to work for a rich family when she was 13 died of pneumonia at 14. My grandmother said she had to keep working in the fields when she was in labor with her babies. Family had to be fed cotton had to be brought in.

.

I enjoy your Barack and Michelle conversations and I’m thinking this might be close to what they say to each other.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

How did you become the fly on the wall? I have no doubt that some of this actually took place. The Obama's can say anything they want in private. But when you are in the public eye you have to expect criticism. It's just part of the gig. Personally, in light of the tough times we are experiencing I think Michelle should have skipped the trip to Spain. It's not a racial thing for me at all and I pity those who insert race into this issue. Dex, I'd love to hear the conversation the Obama's had about the big bus he is traveling around in that was made in China! Up and awesome!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

It's all in the name, Dex - We Micheles (or Michelles) are brilliantly funny as a rule. :D


caltex profile image

caltex 5 years ago

This one is definitely closest to reality. You are an excellent scriptwriter, Dex! Voted up and awesome!


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 5 years ago

You sow what you reap comes to mind as I think about this conversation. It's not a black/white thing, it's democrat/republican. Are we supposed to refrain from any criticism because our President is an African American? I think it's a shame that criticism of the President is seen as racist, because it isn't. It's politics.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Moonlake! Thanks so much and for sharing a portion of your own family story.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Pop! You know the fly on the wall just may have something to say about that!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Mo! I have to agree!!!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Caltex! Thanks so much. I had a lot of people to help with this one!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sheila b.! Welcome. I believe that this may be your first time visiting. This series is fictional and satirical (and I hope humorous)! I hope you understand that.

As far as your response, I would agree that it should be a democrat/republican thing. But a lot of people, including Republicans, continuously bring up his race. I would be happy to show you hubs/comments that show this.

In terms of criticizing the president, who is the "we?" And again, why is his race brought up? I criticize the president often. But I also see a lot of ugly comments about him that have clear racial overtones.

Not all criticism of the president is racism, but some clearly is. Excusing it and calling it politics is a shame to me.

From a black point of view, politics for many has been one factor that has kept black people relegated to a position in this society that is undeserving. Black people do have a view, and many cloak it in terms of former and current history.

I hope you will go back and read some of the other conversations. You will get a better feel for what is going on.

Thanks again for checking it out.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sheila b.! Welcome. I believe that this may be your first time visiting. This series is fictional and satirical (and I hope humorous)! I hope you understand that.

As far as your response, I would agree that it should be a democrat/republican thing. But a lot of people, including Republicans, continuously bring up his race. I would be happy to show you hubs/comments that show this.

In terms of criticizing the president, who is the "we?" And again, why is his race brought up? I criticize the president often. But I also see a lot of ugly comments about him that have clear racial overtones.

Not all criticism of the president is racism, but some clearly is. Excusing it and calling it politics is a shame to me.

From a black point of view, politics for many has been one factor that has kept black people relegated to a position in this society that is undeserving. Black people do have a view, and many cloak it in terms of former and current history.

I hope you will go back and read some of the other conversations. You will get a better feel for what is going on.

Thanks again for checking it out.


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 5 years ago

You're right, I don't quite understand - so I came back to read again and try! Sad to say, I have seen comments here on hubpages and elsewhere I'd consider racist, and they shock me. In my own life, the number of racists I've met can be counted on one hand. That said, it's also a fact that in many areas people still reference their own or others' ethnic roots. The wop, the frog, etc. So - in that regard, I can see some people referencing Obama's ethnicity, and I don't consider it racist. But here I am, getting too serious again. Instead, I should probably be finding Michele Obama a racist for presuming to read white people's minds - or something...


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Great comment, Sheila b.! I hope you will come back and visit and share your thoughts often!


WhatBigJohnThinks profile image

WhatBigJohnThinks 5 years ago

Loved it, The hypocrisy you delivered in such a humorous fashion is delightful. good job.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Big John! Welcome and thanks for checking it out!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Dexter

Voted up up and away!

"Many whites are still telling lies on black people or sitting in silence when it comes to black people, so that they can keep their status among their white friends and neighbors."

Screw the status. I never agreed with keeping up with the Jones and to lie on top of it is disgusting.

I would like to see a black God bop these liars on head with a bucket of fried chicken. ;-)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sueswan! Your comment is the best I have ever read! Wow! Thanks so much!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

I just love this one. I have noticed that he has *aged* over the year or so as President. The comment of "that some things change and some things remain the same." Is a very accurate statement. I think it speaks loud and clear about society. voted up..again very well written and funny.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Jo! I appreciate your comments!


StayPos profile image

StayPos 5 years ago from Florida, USA

Dexter,

Nicely done! As another comment mentioned you have a tremendous talent in “narrating” the Obama's. The thing I really appreciated is how readers can vicariously absorb another perspective regardless of their political views. These conversations are poignant and bold, as well as contextual which puts them in the proper framework for gaining understanding regardless of the readers race or background :-) Keep up the great work!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

I had to read this again. I loved this one the best I think. I have several bi racial family members. If the world would just try to accept the person and not a color, the way we use colors in our clothes or to decorate our home. This world would be so peaceful :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi StayPos! Thanks for your wonderful remarks! I appreciate you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Jo! I couldn't agree with you more!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Dear Dex,

Now I realize the bus was made in Canada!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Ha ha ha!!! Figures!


iZeko profile image

iZeko 5 years ago

I really enjoyed their chat!;-) But I don’t think that the skin color has anything to do with this. It’s just human nature - the closer you get to the top, the greater criticism you face, even if you are green or purple. Up and funny!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

So true, iZeko. So true! Thanks so much!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....every now and then I have to post one of your classic installments of the legendary morning conversation series to my Facebook page with a direct link back here ......I must spread the word ......you are that good!!!!!!!

lake erie time ontario canada 8:43pm I sincerely hope my friend you had a happy safe and productive summer.

full moon over the lake tonight and fall is in the air!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Epi! It is always an honor and pleasure when you visit. Your support means the world to me!


missolive profile image

missolive 5 years ago from Texas

I agree with Epi - your work is brilliant! I LOVE insight and analysis of various points of view - you are a master!

You have new Fan! Looking forward to more.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hello Miss Olive! Your comments are really appreciated. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the "conversations" forthcoming. Thanks, again!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Outstanding!!! Tweet, Tweet :-))


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! Thank you so much!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Hey Dexter..Keep me posted about lunch and the b-ball game! :))


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Sunshine sent me your link! She KNEW I would love this and I sure do! It's genius, Dexter. I am definitely following you. Anyone with your sense of humor and wit is MY kind of guy! Thanks for the smiles.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! I have a call in to Leroy. He will see what he can do! :-)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Fpherj48! Thank you so much. I really appreciate Sunshine sharing my hubs with you. I am now a follower as well.


satice_j profile image

satice_j 5 years ago from via the Bronx, NY

I am moved by the commentary of others in their postings in regard to this particular conversation with the Obama's. A world made up of each person would make a world worth seeing. Thanks again for the venue you present. Keep writing!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Satice! Thank you for your wonderful comments. I have found some really nice fellow hubbers here that inspire me to keep writing. Thank YOU!

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