Mother Goose Haiku

Mother Goose Haiku

This new Haiku craze

I must admit does amaze

Hope it’s just a phase.


I just can't buy it,

But my resistance is low,

I had to try i!

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Roses are so red,

Violets are really blue.

‘Sugar?’ ‘Yes, please. Two.’

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Jack and Jill, a pair,

Up the hill they both did dare.

Now? I know not where.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Humpty fell off wall

There was omelet for all

King’s men? Do not call.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪


Your pease porridge hot?

My pease porridge is so cold.

Are those corn flakes old?

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Rock-a-bye baby

She is in that tall tree top.

Someone call a cop!

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Bye baby bunting,

Daddy has gone a-hunting.

That's Daddy's fun thing.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Little Boy Blue’s horn

Wherever did he lose it?

Why? He 'don’t' use it.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪


Ring around the rose,

My pocket’s full of Kleenex

For my running nose.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Little Jack Horner

Was jailed for stealing a plum.

Jack is rather dumb.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Mary had a lamb.

Its fleece looked white and painted

Her doctor fainted.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Going to St. Ives,

I met a man - seven wives.

He takes 'One-A-Day.'

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Jack should be nimble

Watch out for that candlestick!

Oh, oh, Jack’s not quick.


Go get the doctor

Tell him that Jack is in pain

Stick-stabbed once again.

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

Old Mother Hubbard

Looked in her pantry cupboard

Not one thing to eat.


She called to her dog

Who could sing and dance the clog

Never miss a beat..


‘Go outside,’ she said,

‘Sing and dance and earn some bread

Wrapped around some meat.’

₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪-₪

That’s all, folks, for now

Let the others do haiku,

Wish I were like you.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved.

Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Includes most-needed, valuable information for older workers.

Do you enjoy Haiku?

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  • What is Haiku?
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Comments 92 comments

AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

You made me chuckle! I especially liked Little Jack Horner! Poor Jack!


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

No comment. I like your old style better.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

thanks for the share :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Wonderful!


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Doc BJ,

You have a talent for stirring it up, lol! There'll be Hi-Coo all over Hubland again. I already see it coming, and I'll be spending hours doing that compulsive counting while I read it because I can't NOT read it, lol.

That guy from St. Ives? I bet it's more than One A Day he's taking ...


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I just don't get Haiku! I wish I did, but I just don't. Maybe I'm not educated enough to know true talent that I suppose it take to write it. You did a fantastic job with this, but I like your puns better! What a sense of humor you have!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

really funny.. great style.. I don't get Haiku either. Mary..this is new to me.. still trying to gt use to it..


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

They need to have a button here for "puzzling".

What is "Haiku"?


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I can't stop laughing. You are so funny and clever. Some of the comments have me LMSO...More please..Merry Christmas....


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Another Laugh, another Smile, another Excellent "Mother Goose Haiku" Drbj, from YOU to US...I like your Style!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Audrey, nice to meet you. Delighted I made you chuckle. I'll express your kind sympathies to Jack. He's still in the slammer.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I know you said 'no comment,' Ann, but thanks for leaving one anyway. I like traditional verses, too, but I had to try writing Haiku to convince myself I could.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Frank, thanks for the visit. And you are welcome for the share. Any time.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for the 'wonderful,' Vinaya - one of my favorite adjectives, you know.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, femme. So you've noticed. I love to stir it up. And you may be right. Haiku could be compulsive. And I know what you mean by counting while you read - I do that, too. Must be another compulsive thing.

Did you catch the double entendre, femme. I was not talking about the vitamin. Heh, heh.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Merry Christmas drbj.

The Frog


kids-toy-box profile image

kids-toy-box 4 years ago

Lol...thanks for providing me with a regular dose of comic relief...nearly as funny as your 'popular proverbs (re)interpreted.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

You made me smile. You made me laugh. Feels good!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 4 years ago from North America

OMG! - These remind me of Burma Shave signs! Rated Up of course.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Very clever and funny, made me laugh, brilliant and voted up.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

This must be my favourite:

"Roses are so red,

Violets are really blue.

‘Sugar?’ ‘Yes, please. Two.’"

I loved it. It's superb.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Mary. Don't feel badly about not getting Haiku. I was never a fan but felt compelled to give it a whirl. Just wanted to see if I could write verse in Haiku style - 5 syllables, then 7 syllables, ending with 5 syllables - and have it make sense.

Thank you, m'dear, for your 'fantastic job' and my sense of humor. Newsflash - writing verse in plain old iambic pentameter is much easier for me.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Deborah, Haiku often needs getting used to but once you understand the basic rhyming scheme, 5, 7, 5 syllables in 3 lines, it's easier to appreciate. I think.

Thank you for your kind comment. 'Great style'? Love that one.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, christopher. I'll campaign for a 'puzzling' button when Hubpages includes a 'hilarious' one. Haiku is an ancient Japanese form of poetry of 3-line stanzas with a 3, 5, 3 syllable format. Sometimes done in verse. Sometimes, not. Clear?

Thanks for stopping by.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Riby, Hope you were able to stop laughing. Continuous hysteria can be dangerous to your health. But I'm delighted to have you enmeshed in merriment. Thanks for your gracious comments and a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year backatcha.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hey, b. You like my style? That makes a whole two of us. Thanks for haiku-ing by.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, royal Frog, for the visit and Merry Christmas to you, too. Is there room for a Christmas tree at your pad? Oops, I mean ON your pad!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, kids, what a treat to see you here. No thanks necessary. Providing you with comic relief is my pleasure. Delighted you enjoyed my "Popular Proverbs Interpreted." Have you visited any of my "Funny Puns" yet? There are eight, so far.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I made you smile ... and laugh, bp? Now you have made me feel good. May your holiday and New Year be Happy.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

OMG, backatcha, Patty. You remember Burma Shave? They were the Greatest! Thank you for the Up, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Movie Master. Thanks for the clever, funny, brilliant and Up. You are my kind of Hubbuddy, y'know.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Twilight Lawns. How nice to have you stop by. I like the Roses are red Haiku, too. Thanks for loving it and the 'superb.'


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 4 years ago from North America

Don't hang your elbow out so far, it might go home in another car...Burma Shave. LOL I love it!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 4 years ago from North America

That's 17 syllables too - just noticed! Fun Hub!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

drbj – I must have known your Haiku’s will ooze humor. Exactly what I needed right now, after reading an extremely sad hub. But you did trigger my philosophical mind with -

“Little Boy Blue’s horn

Wherever did he lose it?

Why? He 'don’t' use it.”

It will go with -

“Her lover in dreams

made her cry the day he left.

Why? She can’t use him.”


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 4 years ago

happy Christmas drbj and may all your dreams come true!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 4 years ago from Central Oregon

Isn't Haiku what you say after someone sneezes? Clever as ever, BJ...and Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Ha-ha! Drbj thanks to your delightful Mother Goose haikus I finally completely understand whats required of the haiku style!...I think.:)


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

May your funny bone never cease to tickle! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

OMG, Patty, you are so right. That Burma Shave oldie you quoted does have 17 syllables just like a Haiku. Think they knew? You are soooo perceptive.

Love the one you mentioned; here's another backatcha:

"My job is Keeping faces clean

And nobody knows De stubble I've seen.

Burma-Shave"


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Martie, it's my pleasure to ooze humor - love that creative phrase of yours. Love your poem, too. Is it autobiographical? Never mind, if you told me, you would have to shoot me. Right? Have a phenomenalicious Holiday, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, psychicdog, what a nice thing to say. Thank you. And may all your dreams, too, always come true. And they will now. I have spoken!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Audrey - only if they are Asian. Heh, heh.

Thank you for the visit, the 'clever as ever,' and just being here occasionally. May your holiday and New Year be the very best ever.

Are you still digging out after all that snow I have seen on TV?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Absolutely delighted, Alastar, that I could provide a clearer picture of what Haiku is all about. Now you can enter your wonderful New Year with a clear conscience. Have a marvelous Holiday.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Feline, for the sweet wish. I shall endeavor not to let my funny bone cease to tickle. Promise.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Outstanding drbj! I enjoyed your haiku ... very entertaining:))


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Sunshine, for enjoying my 'outstanding and entertaining' haiku - you are 'sunshine' in deed as well as name. Happy Holidays!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Happy Holidays to you also:))


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Doc,

Sorry to be late. Been on a trip, taking pics, working hard to make it work?

I didn't catch the double entendre until you pointed it out ... duhhhh (smacking my forehead) ... I had a blonde-moment. :P

You're just too sly for me to keep up with at every turn. Now and then I have to back up and renegotiate it, lol! Thanks for the signpost!

femme


Derdriu 4 years ago

drbj, What an amusing, clever, intelligent array of three-liners with which to end 2011! In particular, I liked the variation on Little Boy Blue and on "Roses are red... ."

Thank you for sharing, etc.,

Derdriu


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Dear Dr B.J. ~ Your haiku Mother Goose are awesome. I thought surely I would tell that the "Humpty" Dumpty was my favorite. However, the number of rhymes you tackled boggled my mind and a list of favorites started to pile up. Ring around the rosie's was another award winner. You fit the story perfectly into the haiku limitations. Blessings, Debby


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 4 years ago from malang-indonesia

I love this one, funny and beautiful. Thank you very much for writing. You still the best. Rated up!

Prasetio


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Hi Drbj - I read this right after you publised and while I was making my comment - the battery in my laptop died! I had to come back to say I really love the Haiku's....my children do too! I think it is a trick to be able to say so much with so few words!!


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

I love style, no matter what style it takes! My favorite is "ring around a rose". brilliant.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Now how could I think of leaving and miss out on such treasures as these. That bring smiles and cheer my days

'Ring around the rose' indeed, I borrowed some of those tissues.

Thank you my friend and I hope you have a wondeful peaceful Christmas.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

No apology necessary, femme, your presence is always appreciated. So sometimes I'm too sly? That's one of the nicest things you've ever said! :)

BTW, where were you traveling? Jus' wonderin'.


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Doc? Where have you BEEN????

I say nice things all the time! You've just not been working the right corners to read them, lol!!!

I've been to East Texas to interview some fellas for a Hub, and another fellow for a book. And then I went to South Texas to see about some deceased folks for another hub, and of course I couldn't get their pics, but I got some very cool pics anyway, and some very nice surprises in meeting some special folks that I didn't anticipate on both trips.

All that running around and I still didn't get enough time to meet up with Sunnie Day for that coffee we keep saying we're gonna get together and sip.

Life's not perfect, but I'm making headway! :)

I'm not even from Texas, but they do have some fascinating history here. A whole lot of it I learned during the trip.

Very cool stuff. :)

femme


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..personally I don't care much for hakuus -- (sic) but you certainly make them so much fun because of your world class wit - I think epi needs to work with at least four lines - hence the title - epigram ......

and your support to me has been nothing but of sheer legendary status so please accept my warmest wishes for your holiday season and continued health and happiness into the new year - you are an essential part of our lives here at the Hub!

lake erie time christmas eve: 9:55pm


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Derdriu. No need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine. Thank you for enjoying my three-liner haikus while saying goodbye to 2011. Little Boy Blue and my 'nose' thank you, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, dear Debbie, for the awesome. Delighted you compiled a list of your favorite haikus and especially enjoyed Humpty and 'rose.' Your accolades are gratefully accepted and appreciated.

May your holiday be merry and blessings backatcha.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, pras, for loving this one and your gracious remarks. The pleasure of writing it, especially for you, is all mine. You are the best, too, you know.

And thanks, my friend, for the up. May the New Year bring you health and happiness.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, pore baby, sorry about your laptop crisis. Hope it's in good health again. So happy to know that both you and your children love the Haikus. Of course it's a trick. Trust me.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Since I consider you, Hilary, the Style Maven, I know how much you appreciate style and that makes your comment even more special to me. Thank you.

Brilliant? Wow! Hope your Christmas was all you desired. And may your New Year surpass your expectations.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted, Rosemary, that you reconsidered. You know I would sorrowfully miss your sweet visits. Happy to bring smiles to cheer your days. Now what can we do to improve the nights? Heh, heh.

'Ring around the rose' is one of my faves, too. Hope your Christmas was Merry and your New Year, I know will be Happy. Promise.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

Your wit is a pleasure to behold and all in good form. It's sad that Jack got time for stealing a plum. I think Jack and the beanstalk walked on the charge of stealing the golden goose and the gianticide. Mother Goose is quite unapologetic for antisocializing our kids. Hope you had a Merry Christmas. Best wishes for a healthy and prosperous New Year.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia

You are such a hoot! I enjoyed the laugh!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You know I was kidding, femme, I know you say nice things all the time. Just puttin' you on, m'luv.

Happy that your trips to East and South Texas seem to have been productive. Will you be writing hubs relative to those visits? Sorry your meeting with Sunnie didn't work out. No, life is not perfect but it's the only one we have - that I know of.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Colin. you are right. Epigrams - at least 4 lines - are you. You ARE the Epigram Man. And you do know how to pay a compliment. 'World class wit'? That works both ways, my Lake Erie friend.

Supporting your epigrammatic efforts is one of my pleasures - I appreciate your talent and creativity. May your holiday and the New Year bring you only the best that life has to offer including health, happiness and the pursuit of pleasure.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, sligobay, for your visit and your gracious comments. It's true that many of the Mother Goose rhymes are antisocial and not very encouraging as role models for our kids.

Thank you for your good wishes and a very healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you, too.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 4 years ago from London, UK

Oh, drbj, you certainly had good go at writing haikus. Only you could write something like that. lol


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Doc,

Sunnie and I will eventually manage the coffee, even if it's at Mike's restaurant during one of the Hubbers Anonymous meetings.

I am using some of the data I collected for hubs and published one earlier tonight. Two more to go and I'll have used up what I gathered from the trip.

:)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

I see the Haiku fever is still alive. My fever left me after just a couple days. I see you are very good at this Dr. BJ. I like your Haikoooos because they are entertaining. Well done!

Sharyn


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Holle, I'm thrilled to have provided a hoot and a laugh. Stay happy, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Hanna. You are so right, m'dear. Only I would write a haiku like this. No one else would dare. (Laughing).

May your New Year be especially wonderful.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

If you ever make it to my corner of the world, Angie, I promise to buy you that cup of coffee. Happy that your trip was so productive.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Sharyn, for being entertained by my Haiku. That, of course, is one of the reasons that I like you.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

Haiku that is rhyming?

A new genre is arising

The Doc does stand alone


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, dear nicomp,

With no circumstance nor pomp,

On Hubs we shall romp.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

That was a blast drbj-you are so creative :-)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to send a blast (of anything but frigid weather) your way any time, Linda. Thank you for your lovely comments. May your New Year be especially wonderful.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Dear drbj, I don't know how you do it, this is all I could haiku-up for you:

A hub a dub dub

As I wonder what you are

Mother of all puns!

I tried! Regards, snakeslane


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

A haiku you wrote expecially for me, sl? Thank you. My cup runneth over. What a sweet thing to do, you definitely are a Hubbuddy.


Father Of Four profile image

Father Of Four 4 years ago from Just ahead

It was actually quite enjoyable. I don't know how (or why) you prefer iambic pentameter, but, as you clearly have a following, I'm sure you're quite good at it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Also, I find it refreshing that you acknowledge your commenters. I'm new to HubPages so I don't know how common it is, but thank you for it.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a treat to meet you, Father of Four, thanks for finding me and your pleasurable comments. I prefer verse to haiku - therefore the iambic pentameter format. See my 'Funny Puns' (numbers One thru Nine).

You might also enjoy my 'Interviews' with dead celebrities; the first was 'Interview with Genghis Khan.'

Acknowledging comments and writing comments on the hubs of others is not only PC but can aid in getting more traffic. See my hub - 'Comments and Traffic.'


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I reading this again and I choose this one as my favorite.

Roses are so red,

Violets are really blue.

‘Sugar?’ ‘Yes, please. Two.’


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I can tell by your comments, Vinaya, that you have a very sharp sense of humor. Takes one to know one, you know. Thanks for dropping by. You might also enjoy my "Funny Puns" - numbers one through ten.


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

Wow. This is a lot like trying to describe a three-legged dog. It is amazing, but at the same time it stands out from your other hubs making you take a second look before believing what you read the first time. I must admit, I am envious of your poems. I, for one, have never had the gift for poetry. I tend to go on and then my poems become stories in the traditional sense... I suppose that's why I love reading other writer's works in poetry. It is beautiful and witty, but at the same time, I was a bit taken back by your words. The candle stick was funny, but then all I could imagine was poor Jack with a candle and tights up his ying-yang. It's hard not to smirk even thinking about it. Perhaps you could do an interview with the candle jumper?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Phoebe - with your next to last line you just about summed up what I had in mind when I composed these Haikus. Only I was thinking 'small smile' instead of 'smirk.' But smirk is good, m'dear. Happy to settle for that.

Your opening about the 3-legged dog is outstanding. Thank you. One of my all-time favorite short jokes is: Where do you find a 3-legged dog? Answer: Right where you left him.

What do you do with a 3-legged dog? Answer: Take him for a drag! Hope you're enjoying your weekend. :)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I knew this would be great when you told me you had written a haiku. Loved it!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for loving this haiku, Susan. You have such GREAT taste, m'dear.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

After your comment I had to come a hunting your mother Goose haiku again, just as much fun as the first time around .


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Awwwww, Rosemary, you are such a sweetie. Thanks for the revisit - you know what they say about the second time around.

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