MOTHER KNOWS BEST - Sometimes
Let's Face It....
There are no manuals on how to be the perfect mother. I mean how can a woman know exactly what to do in certain moments? Let's face it, kids can surprise us out of nowhere! Emotions, needs, wants, tantrums and challenges can change the playing field.
You pat yourself on the back for all of your hard work and VOILA, your child turns into an alien! Who knew?!!! I mean don't all mother's "Know best?!" Absolutely not! Take me for an example. I'm a mother in my mid-forties who lost my own mother at the age of eight. Sometimes when one of my kids goes to another planet for a minute, an hour or a day I get really angry. Why?! Well because I was left a long time ago and no one helped me when I cried for no reason. Well I had other family members around, but I resent the fact that sometimes no matter what I do...it may not always be enough! Well in my child's eyes that is when they get into this particular sort of "tizzy!" So, after one of my younger child's "tizzy fits," I finally mentioned "children starving in India." Did I just "do that?!!" Motherhood makes you crazy and sometimes some other being invades your senses. Then after the "attention tantrum" kept going I decided to mention the fact that I didn't even have a mother and she should be happy that I'm around so much. Did I really say that?! God help me! What the hell does that have to do with a ten year old?!
This is my point. Not all of us are perfect and we try to do the best that we can. But sometimes, things just get out of hand. Like in my house right now both my children are heading into their "hormonal adventure." Sometimes I feel like I'm going through a Haunted House or a Circus tent! I never know what I'm going to get! So I hide in anyway I can as soon as things go a bit "off." Now this does not help things...infact it tends to make things worse! But sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with my career (I also gave up career opportunities to give them a good home life for years) and now my career is in "full-swing." So I avoid confrontation and try to hide in another room and "tune it out."
Do not tune your children out especially going into the teen years! This is the time that they need you most! I'm currently working on this and trying to be more patient and emotionally available. But making time for all of this can be a struggle.
If you have two children that are highly intelligent and compete against each other sometimes, remember that they need more "one on one" time with you. In my case I have a boy and a girl and they both compete for my attention. Sometimes they just go "back and forth" with each other like two attorneys. Just kidding. Let's just say that it is natural for kids this age to "prove their power" to their siblings. So I plan separate outings with each of them on different days.
Do not compare any of them to the ex-spouse you kicked out years ago. Bad idea. This is the biggest mistake that I have made and I have learned to put a curve on it. When I recognize that their behavior reminds me of someone, I don't say anything anymore or I rephrase it in a different way.
Something's Gotta Give...
Well here I am with two incredible children who love me. I love them more then words can say and here I am writing about it and learning as I go along. One of my favorite sayings is "Pobody's Nerfect." Sort of takes the pressure off when you say it. I have been a single parent since they were born even when I was married. Their father was never emotionally available for them and they were not a priority in his life. So, I had to work "double-time" and it was not easy.
Now that they are older, I'm starting to see how my dedication and work made a difference. I have raised two very bright children with strong character and huge hearts! This is important but I have also created a challenge because when some disagreement arises, they both stand up to it. Honestly I am so impressed sometimes with the both of them! Really proud of their inner selves. I often say that they are my best production of date (being silly ofcourse!), but it is those times when you leave them with others (either at another home or some location when you are not around) that I am most proud of. Many times other mother's go on about how kind, loving and polite both of my children are. This is when I feel the most emotional and proud.
Love is everything and it shows. Sure I am not perfect and either is any other mother, but if you truly love your children....they will prevail! Nomatter what. Even children who grow up in perfect households do not always turn out "perfect."
Being there for them when they need you sets the best example. Loving them makes them who they are. In turn they will love others.
That is the biggest lesson in life.
Hub Pages Author - GPAGE
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