Mother is Leaving

Pray for my Mother
Pray for my Mother | Source
The child in us remains
The child in us remains | Source



Mother is Leaving....as many Mother's do

Year after year but I will to.

Some leave for reason's unknown

Other's leave for the Cancer's that have grown

Mine has a path that is sad and lasts years

I cannot help the flow of my tears.

Dementia is slow and cannot be stopped,

at 92 & 1/2 she has really fought.

So the doctor gave the word to order the hospital bed,

call Hospice and now the trail has begun.

I knew this day would one day come,

but now it is here , I am so numb.

Un-sure of just what to do, how to act or what I feel,

I know this time it is for real.

Slipping away day by day, the 6 years I have felt her going

Just make me cry and the tears keep flowing. **********************************************************************************************

Our "Circle of Life" begins the day we are born and ends as both meet on the day we die. What is left on the inner circle seems to be what we leave behind, such as material things, maybe things we never accomplished but wanted to, of course our most loved ones!!! The human struggles, the pain, the illnesses, war, hatred, loneliness, homelessness, a list I can in no way complete.


The outer space of this circle glows from our Love for the "Superior Being" we believe in, all the goodness we shared, the love we gave to others. The difference we made in someone's life. The generosity we shared. Understanding un-conditionally along with giving and no thoughts of anything in return. The example we showed by our actions, the way we spoke to people, the way we dressed and the way we worked.



Where does one begin a letter like this one? to my family and friends...

Hospice has been called in to help Mom with support and care in these last phases of her incurable disease (dementia) so that she can live fully and comfortably as possible.


Just yesterday Hospice was set up, but the week has been busy with talks and decisions between her doctor, the Director of Nursing , the nurse's that see her daily , and myself. Tough decisions but necessary one's.

It all takes time and as of now they will come see her once a week, but as the dying process continues they will be there more and more often. Of course the nurse's at Dungeness Courte will also keep caring for her.

She will be getting a light massage to help her relax starting this week. She hasn't been eating well and has lost 6 lbs. in the last 3 weeks.

Coolness, disoreintation, incontinence, restlessness, vision-like experiences, congestion, breathing problems are all present. This can take a while and changes occur sometimes where Hospice is discontinued...then brought back. As she gets closer to death I will inform you all again...:O(

I am sorry if this was a poor way to inform everyone, but this way I know you all get the message. Prayers always help all of us. Any questions please feel free to call, though I may not be here much...


"Each person approaches death in their own way, bringing to this last experience their own uniqueness" from the Hospice Group.


Comments 50 comments

Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 4 years ago from West Virginia

Oh G-ma, Hugs to you. It is hard to say goodbye. Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Lady Guinevere...Thanks dear...but God doesn't test us beyond what HE knows we can handle...I know it is gonna be very hard to say Goodbye to her...:O( Hugs G-Ma


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

G-ma...our thoughts and prayers are with you! Lots of hugs!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Feline Prophet...Thanks my dear Needed badly...:O( Hugs G-Ma


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Thoughts and prayers are with you G-MA.

My Dad had Alzeihmer's and had been slipping away when he was suddenly diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and was gone in less than 3 weeks. I can empathize with the hospice decision making and the anxieties that come with it.

Stay well, stay strong and know that many are with you in spirit. Prayers sent.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 4 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

G-Ma.

Know that the stars that illuminate the sky, are the reflection all the prayers, both for your mother, and for you.

All yours "fans, followers" are really your extended family, who care for you and yours.

My prayers and thoughts reach out from far away, so that they can be with you all the day.

We are all here for you!

God Bless


Nanny J.O.A.T. profile image

Nanny J.O.A.T. 4 years ago from Somewhere over the rainbow

Gma - my heart and hugs are with you - like the song says" Just call out my name and you'll know that I'll be there" even if it can only be in spirit. The tree loves you.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

missolive...sorry for your loseand Thasnk you for the Prayers...God Bless...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Just_Rodney...Thank You and how beautiful...

"Know that the stars that illuminate the sky, are the reflection all the prayers, both for your mother, and for you."

God Bless ...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Nanny J.O.A.T....Thank you sweet one...as the leaves fall and awaits it's new life, my Mother awaits her real Home...God Bless...:o( Hugs G-Ma


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Made me cry and hurts my heart. I will pray for you and may God give you the strength to get through each passing day. It can be grueling but that love we have for our mother's is so profound in these times. I am embrace you on this journey and be there when the tears flow. God Bless you, G-ma . ((((Big Hugs)))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

AEvans..Thanks, you are a dear...I know I will make it through...it hurts more knowing she is just waiting so patiently for the end...and me wanting both for her to have the "Peace" I think she will have and "NOT" letting her go. In a way I wish I could go with her cause I will miss her sweet smile so much...Now my tears are blurring my eyes..God Bless...:O( G-Ma


no body profile image

no body 4 years ago from Rochester, New York

We are Christians. "We are not like those who have no hope." Ma, you can rejoice that your mom is in the Lord's hands. He will help in all phases of this new chapter in her life. It is a fact that we all will end our lives on this earth with a family member or two or more having gaping holes torn in their hearts because they live on and their loved one "is Changed." I'm kinda envious of her. She will see my Lord and be pain free and sin free and happy and with no struggles to remember or just live. I will still be here struggling in my sin and striving to do what I must do with my end still ahead of me. She will be in glory with a radient new energetic body that will be like the resurrected body of the Lord Jesus ("We do not know what we will be but we know this, we will be like Him"). This is only sad for us but we rejoice in what we know for her future (which is eternal). You have been a good daughter to her and great friend to us all. You have a clear conscience before God that what you have done is what you ought to have done. You stand as an example to me as to what a daughter should be. Thank you. It has made me and others stronger just knowing you. Love ya, hon.


justom profile image

justom 4 years ago from 41042

Merle Ann there's nothing we can do about the end of life but that doesn't stop us from the sadness. That photo of your mom with the doll brought back memories for me, good ones actually. I wish you strength in the coming days, I'll be thinking about you! Peace, love and life!! Tom


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

no body..Thank You with your well spoken words I do feel better for this moment anyway... Love ya too...God Bless :O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

justom..Thanks Tom for your support... I will be strong I will do what I need to do and I will CRY...but life goes on...God Bless :O( Hugs G-Ma


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 4 years ago

Be proud of what you have done for your mom, you have been there for her every step of the way. Her illness will be gone, she will take on a new life on the other side, believe me she is smiling in her soul now, rest has come at last and you her daughter will always be blessed for having loved and hung on with her through all her ordeal. You have been a loving steward, God will give you peace in your heart and this to in time will pass, yet leaving you with fond memories of a mom and daughter who loved each other very very much. My prayers are with you both.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 4 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

G-ma, my heart is aching for you and my eyes are wet. You have been such a devoted daughter even in the moments where fustration may have normally been experienced. I send you and your Mom much love, many hugs and prayers of peace.


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

it is a circle Gma we all come and we all leave but as per Hindu philosophy the essence never goes away it is always around us.

even when she is gone she will always be with you as a living part of you.So live each phase fully - even this one.God bless


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

Thanks for sharing this information in such a heartfelt and beautiful way. Will say a prayer for you and your mother tonight. Love what you wrote about the circle of life. The measure of a great life is one lived mostly in the higher realms of space outside the circle- the realm of love, kindness, compassion and caring. Yes, those are the things that truly matter and live on when we have passed to the other side.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

saddlerider1,,,yes I am glad for the fact that her illness will be gone and she will finally be Home.As hard as I try to believe I have done the best I can at times I feel I have fallen short, short to the greatness she has given me. In her illness and struggles she has still taught me so much...God Bless and Thank you for commenting...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

VioletSun...Thank You sweet lady..we will make it through and I so appreciate the way you are always here...God Bless...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

neeleshkulkarni...Thank you so much "Hindu philosophy the essence never goes away it is always around us".

and I shall try to live each phase fully...Bless you...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Happyboomernurse ..."The measure of a great life is one lived mostly in the higher realms of space outside the circle- the realm of love, kindness, compassion and caring". Thank you...so well expressed...wish I had said that way..:O( Hugs and God Bless G-Ma


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

Hugs to you and your mother! Going through hospice is a difficult time, yet these people are so professional. I am so sorry that you are enduring this tough transitional period. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

stephhicks68 Thanks so much in my time of sorrow..my HP friends have always been here and I so love you all..this is a great site as far as I am concerned. God Bless and again Thanks...:O( Hugs G-Ma


SirDent 4 years ago

G-Ma, I wish there was something I could do to help. I do know what you are going through as you well know. Just know that I am here for you as much as possible. ((((((HUGS))))))


BongSantos profile image

BongSantos 4 years ago from Philippines

I lost my mother to cancer 2 years ago and the tears have never stopped flowing since then. I know they won't until our encounter in the great beyond. I know your pain. You have my prayers.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

SirDent...Thank you dear friend and I do know (pretty much) what you went through, such a kind man...I am happy to have your support...God Bless...:O( Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

BongSantos..Sorry to hear that and you have my prayers too...Mothers can be so very special...as well as Dad's...Thanks for your support...God Bless...:O( Hugs G-Ma


jfay2011 profile image

jfay2011 4 years ago

I will say a prayer for you and your family. That is a hard disease to go through. It sounds like she has good doctors to help her be as comfortable as possible. Dying is never easy. My mother died at 54. She suffered for three years. And when my grammy was in the process of dying, my mom and other family members were there to aid her. And then the cleaning out of her house came afterwards. My nana suffered from alzheimer's and it was a blessing when she died. But we always wished she would have known who we were in her last years. If she had known her daughter died, it would have killed her emotionally. I always wonder if she knew that someone was absent.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

jfay2011...Thank you and yes it is all difficult, so far she has been with me for 6 years and has no idea ? I am her daughter, but then again I can't say that for sure, she smiles her beautiful smile when I enter her space,and eats for me...though all that is changing as of now...Mom is almost 93 but body wise pretty healthy just her brain has failed. Thanks again for the prayers...:O( Hugs G-Ma


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 4 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom every day.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Thanks..Rodney I know you are always here...:O( G-Ma Hugs


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 4 years ago from East Coast, United States

After it's all over, I think you deserve to go on vacation. Your mother is fortunate in one way - you are her daughter.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Dolores Monet..How nice of you...Thank you and I may just do that it has been a long 6 years, but honestly I have many memories no one has and I do cherish them all...God Bless...:O( Hugs G-Ma


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 4 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

G-Ma, There is only so much that a person can do and you've done it all and more! your mother's in good hands and you spent the last six years ensuring that her quality of life was the best possible, Bless you both.

Peter.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

The Old Firm..Than you ever so much and I do appreciate the Blessing...:O( Hugs G-Ma


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 4 years ago from New York

I am sad to read this hub. When parents go, and sometimes people with good intentions will say: "But it may be for the best, they lived a good long life." It still hurts, they are still our parents. Bless you and your mom and my prayers are with you. *hugs*


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

BobbiRant..Thanks...and a whole new phase of life and all the things one must do to prepare for this day. A lot was already, but still much more...I am soo tired and sad and need those prayers so I remain sane...God Bless Hugs :O( G-Ma


gamergirl profile image

gamergirl 4 years ago from Antioch, TN

G-Ma, you are in my thoughts. You'll make it through, and you have the love of your fans with you. **hugs**


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

gamergirl ..Thank you dear..It is a comfort here...:O( Hugs G-Ma


k@ri profile image

k@ri 4 years ago from Sunny Southern California

G-Ma, You and your mother will remain in my thoughts and prayers. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there. (((HUGS))) to you and (((HUGS))) to your Mom


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

K@ri...Thanks that is nice to know...:O( Hugs G-Ma


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

I lost Dad to Alzheimer's...twice. Once when he slipped away mentally, and again when he finally died.

May God give you comfort.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sorry WillStarr...I know the feeling and it is so tough...She is 93 and a strong woman, just won't let go...but it is between her and God...Thanks "kind Sir" for your nice words...:O( Hugs G-Ma


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 4 years ago from US

I feel so bad to only now be catching this. I know seven weeks could mean everything or nothing. I will pray she slips away in her sleep. Good mothers deserve nothing less and believe me when I say I love you and your mother if for no other reason, simply because I have been there. The 1st of Dec was Mom's second birthday gone. Her birthday I believe was always more special to me than to her, but I knew I had had her another year. God Bless and I do pray for you both that this be an easy passing.

Polly


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Pollyannalana..I am sorry for you and my prayers to you.

It is so strange because since they put her on Hospice she seems to be improving in certain areas. she had lost weight which she has now replaced...whatever... I know God is in control and all I can do is accept "what will be will be" Thanks ever so much sweet lady and MERRY CHRISTMAS...:O) Hugs G-Ma


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 4 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

Great to hear that she is improving in some areas, and at rest and peace.

Remember that a place has been prepared for her.

Know that thoughts from all your fans and followers are with you.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Just_Rodney,,Thank you dear Rodney...and yes I am sure a place is waiting for her...God Bless you...:O( G-Ma

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