"My Aim" - A Pantoum Poem of Hope

Hopeful Road
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"My Aim"

My bed hummed my name;

I passed up quality rest.

My eye is on my aim.

My mind is on my quest.

I passed up quality rest,

To dance around town all day.

My mind is on my quest,

As I pushed slumber away.

To dance around town all day,

I'm dedicated to my to-do list of needs.

As I pushed slumber away,

I pulled out life's weeds.

I'm dedicated to my to-do list of needs,

As I lined up my goals.

I pulled out life's weeds,

And placed tree seeds in the holes.

I will watch my trees grow;

My eye is on my aim.

In steps, conquer a sleepless show;

My bed hummed my name.

[2012]

© 2012 Alyssa Scheidemann

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Comments 8 comments

RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 4 years ago from the short journey

Thought provoking…poignant.


AlyssaScheidemann profile image

AlyssaScheidemann 4 years ago from Southwest Florida Author

Thank you :)


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

This looks like a modern take on ancient poetry forms that call for both the repeated refrains and the beginning and end drawing to the center. The form I am thinking of escapes me but it is biblical in nature. I feel something sexual and a few things that feel drug related but it is encoded well such that it could be just a worship of the season. It is interesting at any rate. Cheers.


Gelbee 4 years ago

Nice write...I really liked the image of "life's weed's"


gmaoli profile image

gmaoli 4 years ago from South Carolina

Really good! "My mind is on my quest." That line is going to stick with me for awhile. We often ask for rest from our daily demands, but deep down there's always something going on out there that we need or really want to do.


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

What a cool take on the pantoum form. Very much enjoyed.


AlyssaScheidemann profile image

AlyssaScheidemann 3 years ago from Southwest Florida Author

Thanks! :)


shoaib malik 20 months ago

very good

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