Heroine

This came to me while writing a piece about how we protect ourselves from really engaging with those emotions that have been badly damaged.








How bravely she stepped through those distant barricades

Confronting the brute lines of defence

Too entrenched to keep her out


How easily she scaled the already broken walls

Manned then by only children, old men

Too weak to keep her out


Triumphantly she swarmed the bunkered spaces

Ransacking all the secret places

Where I was found out



 

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Comments 22 comments

Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 6 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

Very Intresting Piece.

Kudos To You Kind Sir.


poetlorraine 6 years ago

she did that...... to you, brilliant piece of work, well done, i think i said it before, but i love the avatar, who is it.


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Awful poet - thanks for the kudos.

PL the avatar is Michaelangelo from his self portrait that discusses perspective, third dimension, and I think maybe a fourth dimension but . .


kimberlyslyrics 6 years ago

I truly loved this, feeling all kinds of things

perspective sometimes need a reminder, least with me

thank yo lots

kimberly


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Hi Kimberley - I knew what I was aiming for but got an unexpected bit more for free when I read it back to myself. :)


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Nice piece! Thank you sir!


poetlorraine 6 years ago

thanks he looks kind and wise, don't ya think?


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

wise is certain - kind I am not so sure

:D


poetlorraine 6 years ago

oh.....


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Michaelangelo I mean! I am stupid but cuddly.


Sunshiney31 profile image

Sunshiney31 6 years ago

Bravo !


TheSablirab 6 years ago

Thought provoking.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

A deep and simple poem - I like that! Certainly got me thinking.

Love and peace

Tony


SummerSteward profile image

SummerSteward 6 years ago from Duluth MN

Made me think of courage. Good piece, simply written and interesting.

Blessings!


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

This was my favorite so far. Breaking down barriers, that are created to keep the possibility of pain out. Very good work. Thumbs up.


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

Ah, women have incredible ways of piercing our armor, one would never find a chastity belt for men...LOL~~LOVED this~~~MFB III


blackreign2012 profile image

blackreign2012 6 years ago

Great piece ~hugs~ I liked it alot


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Thanks for all the nice comments - too busy lately to get around and do anything like answer mail etc - so thanks everyone :)


lxxy profile image

lxxy 6 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

Nice piece.

Hey, but..in one line...

"Manned then by only children, old men

To weak to keep her out"

Should the beginning of the second be 'too,' or am I mistaken? Or is it a stylistic take?

Thanks for another great one!


notquitecorso profile image

notquitecorso 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

such striking diction sir...i loved the slight musicality of this piece...i read it aloud twice...cheers!


Tusitala Tom profile image

Tusitala Tom 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

To me, the poem sounds incomplete. Is 'she' the truth, the 'insightful you' who finally 'got it?' I was left wondering.

Photos are good.


alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Hi Ixxy - the intent is to show the aged man still a child in many ways, like a child too old to resist the determined assault any more (and yes it should be 'too' - duly changed ta!)

Hi notquitecorso - cheers for reading, I tried to get the rythm to rush on and then rest in each verse, like stages in an assault on an entrenched position that takws out each defence in turn.

Hi - TT, thanks for dropping by. 'She' is simply that special girl who gets through all the defences we put up (especially after broken relationships) - and on the other side it is the 'voice' who gets any enlightenment going from the excercise I think.

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