My Quest to be a Punk-Rock Chick
Some stereotypes are true, it's a sad fact but it's true. For instance; 'Irish people drink Guinness.' Now I'm sure there are people in Ireland who don't, but it is true that most Irish people do like Guinness... I've never met one who didn't.
Another true stereotype is, pretty much any, about gender. Most straight men like cars and violent video games, football and beer. And by the same token, most girls like cute things like babies, and kittens, and pink fluffy things and getting their nails done. I do, I hate it sometimes but its true.
I think all women have inside them the little girl they used to be, mine (like most) was obsessed with girly things like barbie dolls and Moomins, fluffy pen tops and cute little bunnies! But she also loved to climb trees make mud pies and sit for hours playing with ants, worms and woodlice.
So now as an adult I have a war between myself and I that rages on endlessly.
One side of myself loves filling pretty notebooks with poems written with pens that have fluffy animals on top of them. She loves listening to cheesy pop like Cher and Elton John, and reading Chick-Lit like Marian Keyes. She loves wearing floaty tops with floral patterns and gorgeous sparkly shoes.
She dreams of filling her home with antique furniture, beautiful jewelry boxes and perfume bottles, white ornamental bird cages filled with freesias and pansies. She loves hosting dinner parties and serving home made desserts. And she dreams of living in a country house, having lots of kids and being a stay at home mummy in a floury apron and baking cookies for when little Charlie and Lavinia come home from school!
Then there's the other side of myself, the side that forked out lots of cash on all the tattoos she has lovingly adorned herself with. She loves punk rock and alternative music like Rancid, The Goo Goo Dolls and Foo Fighters. She lives for live concerts and keeps the tickets from all the live bands she sees in a scrap-book with a scull on the front. She wears rock tees, punk boots and a trilby hat, and is building up the courage to get all her hair but her side fringe cut down to an inch or two long and dyed bright pink! She reads Shakespeare and Poe, and loves watching classic horror movies like 'The Shining', 'Psycho' and 'The Omen'.
These two very different people somehow co-exist in my (rather imperfect) body, and for years I have battled the soft and fluffy side of my self (I call her Tallulah btw), trying so hard to get rid of her altogether, but she's always managed to hang on in there! And although I do tend to lean more towards my rocky persona, I don't think I'll ever be able to kill Tallulah off completely, and if I'm honest I don't really want to. For years Tallulah was everything I hated about myself, my tendency to be over-emotional, my irrational fears, and my ditsy nature, it all infuriated me, when all I wanted to be was strong, self assured and down to earth.
But gradually I have come to realise that all these things, which seem at odds, are actually just all little parts of one whole person, and without them, I wouldn't be who I am. So I can like manicures, pretty handbags and soppy movies, and still be a tough punk-rocking chick. And I can have tattoos and a formidable rock and roll collection, and still be a feminine woman.
And if you think I'm weird for having tattoos and swearing, or if you think I'm a sell out for listening to Cher and doing my nails, then that's your opinion, and your entitled to it. But as long as I'm happy with who I am, I don't much care what anyone else thinks about it!