My Self Respect



Why is "no" so hard to say?
Why is guilt the price to pay?
Why am I so willing to
sacrifice my needs for you?

When I say "no", I'm plagued with guilt
as if, to fail, the world will tilt.
I deserve to have a choice...
my needs and limits merit voice.

If you ask, and I say "no"...
guilt and shame, within me, grow.
If I say "yes", instead, to please...
the path of least resistance's ease...

Anger, then, within, ignites,
for I have sabotaged my rights
and self-respect will quickly flee...
for I have, once again, sold me.

And just because I volunteer
does not commit me to your sphere...
I deserve the same respect
that you demand, but thus, neglect.

So, why is "no" so hard to say?
Why is guilt the price to pay?
Lord, give me strength to care for me
in spite of all who disagree!

"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

Comments 32 comments

bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

Oh the huge battles in our hearts and our heads, no less epic than our water and air, a gift of life that allows us to tread, if only one moment of choices as clear, yet life is quite special, no matter my dear...

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Sir BB! You are so correct! smiles!

thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Beautifully written my friend. Resentment can so easily be built into a one way relationship. We all deserve to have and be shown respect. High five girlfriend. x

tumblintumblweed profile image

tumblintumblweed 5 years ago

Ahhhh, No_Clue,my friend....this is so true.I struggle with saying no all the time...This whole write is me! Thank you for sharing.Very good message for many,I'm sure!

Voted up/useful/awesome, all the buttons!

Blessings to you,my friend!

TTW :)

CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 5 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

Very Good- I wrote a hub called, "My Rights As An Individual". Check it out. I sometimes feel as if I have been "put upon". Strong Women can say NO!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

star, you got that right! Thanks, My Friend, for your visits and awesome support! My life is richer with you in it!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

weed, thank you, a thousand thank yous! lol....hugs!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Christina. "No" is a word I struggle with.

Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

A very honest poem about something that many people struggle with. Ask yourself a simple question each time you struggle with saying no: What am I afraid of losing?

Thank you. You go from strength to strength.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Spirit Whisperer, thank you for your comment. I shall indeed try that. I would dare say, nine times out of ten, for me personally, it is approval...which I have discovered I don't need nearly as much as I used to! Hugs!

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Brilliant and oh so true.

Thank you for sharing this one with us.

Take care


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 5 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Well said No_Clue, I'm sure we've all taken the line of least resistance at some time and, as you rightly said;

"for I have, once again, sold me."

Me is the one that loses in the end, very nicely done :-)

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Eiddwen, thank you! This is an issue I struggle with...and needed to write, to remind myself of the price I pay when I choose to say yes when it should be no!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Bumpsysmum, thank you, kindly! The path of least resistance has led me astray, many times...and I am the one that pays that price, always...hugs!

CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado

Hello NC, you really are a great writer. Thank you for this very insightful poem.



No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

CreatePerfection, thank you, kindly! I so appreciate your visit and awesome comment! Blessings to you, as well!

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Good for you - recognizing that if we don't respect and love ourselves, we can't be fully respectable and lovable to others, no matter how noble our motives for succumbing, - is the main hurdle.

Good poem!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Nellieanna...I appreciate your read and comment!

Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Great piece of work N.C. with great pics to go with it.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Sharyn, thank you! I so appreciate it!

Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 5 years ago from Australia

I can relate to this, you capture the dilemma so well, tongue in cheek, but very real. Thank you I have enjoyed your words.

attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Finding that mutual moment is worth waiting for. Twenty four hour foreplay is ok in theory, but sometimes a couple of weeks really gets the champagne corks popping and once you've had one glass it's hard not to want a another one real soon, if it's still sparkling of course. It is a serious dilemma of course and one that requires the utmost respect. PS let's not overlook the skill that you put in to the telling of this dilemma. Rhyming poetry at its best.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Fennelseed, thank you! I so appreciate your read and thoughtful comment! I was raised to be a "yes gal" is still a struggle some days!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

attemptedhumour, the "yes or no dilemma" applies to so many areas of life...I thank you for your awesome comments and support! It means the world to me!

bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

No_Clue I can never say no not because I am weak but because I have a very big giving heart I will go to the moon and back for you if you asked me to because the day judgment day comes I will reap the biggest satisfaction ever. Thanks for sharing.

smiles :)


No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

bella, thank you! I was raised to be a "people pleaser" who would go to the ends of the earth if asked. In my later years, I have come to recognize that, for me, self-respect is more valuable than approval. I am always willing to do what I can but I can't sacrifice my self-respect anymore just to make someone happy. Its a fine line there sometimes...for me, anyways.

h.a.chauhdary profile image

h.a.chauhdary 5 years ago from Australia

totally relate to this!!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

h.a.chauhdary, thank you. Saying "no" is a difficult thing for me but to say "yes" just to avoid guilt is not the right reason, either. There has to be a balance, here, I just know it!

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

Like this very much. Good work. Good use of rhyme!

No_Clue 5 years ago

PDXKaraokeGuy, thank you kindly! I appreciate your visit and comment!

BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I'll be in this battle with myself for the rest of my life =) Well said, clever! Love the pictures, they are so great pick for this poem, I feel exposed inside out. heh

No_Clue 4 years ago

Yeah, Max, it doesn't seem to get easier with age, either, at least it hasn't for me...and I have a real hard time saying "no" to my boys and my

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