My Tin Ear Tinnitus??
It's not the echo of this morning's alarm and it's not a bee in your ear, it's Tinnitus.
My ear has a siren who is not a lovely mermaid.
Do you hear a ringing......
a high frequency sound
in your ear??
I do....constantly
and it's gotten much worse
in the last few weeks.
Like Quasimodo just after
he got his bell rung,...
now I understand
why he had a hunchback
it must have been caused by his
trying so hard to bend himself away
from the noises in his ear.
it's a note that I can harmonize with
but that my tenor can never hope to reach.
but it also blocks out other sounds
as if I am riding in an ambulance
screaming across some distant highway.
What is truly scary is that it sounds
like that final note on a heart monitor
when it stops beeping and wails
that lonesome last refrain.
There is no cure they say
I am one of millions listening to
God's doorbell....
and hoping he doesn't answer it soon.
They say it is relatively harmless.....
of course they're not getting
rung right out of their skulls....
and considering my years as a
lead vocalist for many Rock and Roll groups
I should be gratefui that I
can still at least hear the ringing.
It is most often caused by loud music,
and be forewarned it is permanent.
I-pod, headphones and blasting stereos,
front row seats at concerts
and many other loud noises
can still the quiet most normal folks know.
I remember in my years with various bands
the one time I popped a huge jawbreaker
in the side of my mouth to suck on
right before we sound checked our
amplifiers and monitors never realizing
they were on a very high setting.
when I hit that fIrst note on my electric
guitar and my bandmates kicked in too
that Jawbreaker that was hard as a rock
was instantly pulverized into powder by
the blast of sound waves assailing us.
We made all the proper adjustments but
imagine what happens to those fragile
and sensitive parts of your inner ear
if such loud sound waves can crush a
jawbreaker into powder the consistency
of Pixie sticks.
And what's worse is that it amplifies your pulse
you can hear every beat as if your ear drum
went on a warpath, an endless drone of
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub.
a constant reminder of one's mortality.
I am sorely tempted to commit Hari-Kari
with a Q-tip dipped in Vaseline...lol
It can be an errie...earrie hell
it rings now as I write, the only relief is to
press my finger into the crease of my upper ear
and wiggle it as if I am trying to get water out.
but that is temporal at best.
Like Poe, who perhaps had tinnitus,
I am trapped in the ringing, the jingling,
the clanging and the banging of the bells.
On the darker side of my outlook
it might be a brain tumor,
or just a dismally annoying
background noise that I
will carry to my grave.
the bell tolls for me...
And I have no desire to see a Doctor,
I did all the standard things
removed any chance of ear wax with drops
and a quite a few syringes of warm water.
I blew dry my ear as well
although it didn't curl anymore,
I've put olive oil in it, mineral oil as well
all to no avail,
anymore of that stuff and the ringing
will turn into a rousing rendition
of "Grease"
So I will wait it out,
and hope that nature takes it's course,
as long as it's not a course on sign language,
and warn all my fellow writers here
to be kind to your ears,
lest you too hear such endless
high pitched wailing in your head.
It is only preventable before you get it,
and I got it and am unable to prevent it
from distorting my peace.
If perchance you stumble upon
an article about a man
who drove a spike into his ear canal
pray that it isn't me....
because that temptation is alluring
in the wee hours of the mourn.
"'Scuse me for a moment, some one's ringing
the phone....oops never mind."
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRggggghhhhhhh!!!!????
© 2010 Matthew Frederick Blowers III