My journey

Have you ever entered into something head first...that you knew was too good? Its almost a trap when that happens. You find yourself twirling around on some kind of mental mountain like Julie Andrews. Thing is, with all that twirling, you either stop and find something still to focus on, or you fall down.

Wheres my still thing? Wheres my focus?

I never set my eyes on anything, so down i fell.

Down and down and down.

What a nightmare.

You know, when your young, and you fall in love, you think everything is going to be okay. You think that the attributes that you are so fond of that the other person holds are the ones that are going to get you through the rough times.

You never stop to think that maybe its the other persons flaws that are going to bring on those rough times. That maybe the light you see beaming from that persons eyes will fade away and dissapear. What do you do then? What do you do when the stuff that drew you in fades away.

Sometimes you do nothing. Sometimes you are appeased momentarily by glimmers of what the light used to be. Sometimes that glimmer buys you a few more days.

That is why some people feel stuck. That is why alot of times, at the point where you feel you should leave, you dont.

Because you catch a glimmer. a glisten. a slight shimmer.

And your hopeing maybe it will be the begining of the return to happy.

But thats not reality. Sometime when the light is gone, its just gone.

Sometimes you need to know when to pull out.

Anyway, his glimmer, his light, is gone. Ive attempted to move on to better things, but im pretty sure replacing someone elses light is not the answer.

Time to brighten up my own.

I dont want to be the glow in the dark star that needs the light to recharge, and can only be recharged by another.

I want my own light.

And so im starting my journey.

Wish me luck.

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Comments 12 comments

Jade 6 years ago

Ashes, ashes, we all fall...down. Intriguing piece of work.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

..and yes quite an amazing journey it is - I am glad and honored to be a passenger aboard your 'Muse caboose' .... and something I've noticed and marveled at - your maturity and wisdom as a writer - you have really come into your own! So sorry if this piece is truly autobiographical - but life goes on - well it MUST go on - and you are and always will be number #1 - and that is not a selfish train of thought because if you look after yourself then you will be able to look after your loved ones and close friends.

All aboard you lucky patrons and faithful readers!!!!


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

epigramman- i find comfort in everything you wrote to me. I really wish we could sit down for a cup of coffee and talk. i wish i could talk to you and you could give me advice.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

..and yes my dear friend .... I wish you could give me advice - as you know it goes both ways!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Dear Pink,

I loved the illustration you used on your article. It shows a shady path through the straight and narrow. I've dreamed this picture many times.

What it seems you've discovered in your youthful enlightenment is that the road is not straight and answers are not always forthcoming. We're often distracted by those who want love but are unable to give us the things we crave or think at the time we can't live without.

As you've no doubt come to realize, attributes are not enough to sustain a deep and meaningful relationship. You ask "What do you do when the stuff that drew you in fades away?"

You muse, "the light you see beaming from that persons eyes will fade away and dissapear. What do you do then?" Those of us who've experienced the loss of a love can relate to the sadness and disappointment you're feeling now.

If I may offer you some comfort, things will not always look so grim for you - new love will arrive - and with the dawn of each new day your strength will return along with the knowledge that you have so much to offer someone, the right someone, who will cherish and love you as you deserve to be loved.

My best hopes to you on this difficult journey.


puresilence profile image

puresilence 6 years ago from New Delhi

The journey is endless but yes you have somewhere to start.. just get prepared for bumpy ride and don't forget to smile whosoever you come across. You never know when you find them helpful.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Bon Voyage! Bon Courage! Bon Chance!


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

Pink, just remember the bumps along the way build character and add new experiences for better understanding and wisdom that carries us on life full of things to write about. Its the bumps in the night that if looked at in the right way can make us into saints or demons. Anyway you look at it my dear, it will make for a mighty good read after you write. You are such a good writer! your journey will be a fabulous one, enjoy it with all your heart and mind and feed your soul! When each is done, i will love a read into each one! ~aloha~


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Well said Pink. The journey is not always rosy, but it's your great adventure and nothing stays the same for very long. Sometimes that a good thing :)


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Green Lotus- Sometimes i wish things would just settle into boreing and stay that way.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

Dear Pink Um,

Sorry to say and yet happy to say, you have been given the gift of your creative genius which denies you both settlement and boredom. An active mind need always stay unsettled and wandering. There is satisfaction. Tranquility belongs to those who chant mantras repeatedly. Those who create must continue to be exposed to the elements of life. Thank you for your honesty expressed along your path. Cheers.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

slingobay- your awesome, thank you so much.

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