Diary-October 23, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today, I realized that I am living with no exact purpose in life. My supervisor made me realize this on our one-on-one coaching.

She asked me, "what do you want to do?" I don't know.

"What's your hobby?" None.

"What do you do that you never get tired of?" I think carefully. I answered, watching. She laughed.

I think I know what I want to do but I don't know where and how to start it. And because I don't know how to start, I'm starting to forget it and just live everyday with no motivation.

When I can't answer any of my supervisor's question, she later on said, " It's fine, you maybe have disappointments."

Yes. And I can't help but cry.

Disappointments that I have no power to live my own life as I am still very attached to a responsibility. That I am just waiting for salary after 15 days of work. That everyday I am thinking of not going to work. That everyday I prepare my food and eat alone.

"When you die, how do you want to be remembered?"

For now, because this is the only thing I can do, I want to be remembered as ' A Sister', and this responsibility motivates me. After this, nothing will ever hinder me to go to my own world.


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