Mysterious 'Outdated Magazine Crisis' In Doctor's Offices Causes Me Serious Alarm

This is a vintage Field and Stream magazine

DO NOT BE ALARMED IF YOU SHOULD FIND A COPY OF THIS MAGAZINE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
DO NOT BE ALARMED IF YOU SHOULD FIND A COPY OF THIS MAGAZINE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

The many divisions of doctors

THIS MALE DOCTOR IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN ABLE TO HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE GET OVER AN ILLNESS TODAY.
THIS MALE DOCTOR IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN ABLE TO HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE GET OVER AN ILLNESS TODAY.
ANY DOCTOR WHO KNOWS HOW VALUABLE HIS PATIENTS ARE, WILL ALWAYS COMFORT THEM WHENEVER POSSIBLE.
ANY DOCTOR WHO KNOWS HOW VALUABLE HIS PATIENTS ARE, WILL ALWAYS COMFORT THEM WHENEVER POSSIBLE.
DENTISTS ARE CONSIDERED DOCTORS OF DENTISTRY. THEY ARE NEEDED IN TODAY'S WORLD TO HELP US KEEP OUR TEETH IN TIP-TOP SHAPE.
DENTISTS ARE CONSIDERED DOCTORS OF DENTISTRY. THEY ARE NEEDED IN TODAY'S WORLD TO HELP US KEEP OUR TEETH IN TIP-TOP SHAPE.
"MA'AM, ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN," SAYS THIS WISE DOCTOR TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT A HEALTH ISSUE.
"MA'AM, ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN," SAYS THIS WISE DOCTOR TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT A HEALTH ISSUE.
THIS FEMALE DOCTOR IS VERY HAPPY BECAUSE SHE HAS HELPED TO MAKE A SICK PERSON BETTER.
THIS FEMALE DOCTOR IS VERY HAPPY BECAUSE SHE HAS HELPED TO MAKE A SICK PERSON BETTER.
JUST LOOK AT THESE PRETTY FEMALE INTERNS. ONE DAY THEY WILL ALL HAVE OFFICES OF THEIR OWN. HOPEFULLY WITH CURRENT MAGAZINES.
JUST LOOK AT THESE PRETTY FEMALE INTERNS. ONE DAY THEY WILL ALL HAVE OFFICES OF THEIR OWN. HOPEFULLY WITH CURRENT MAGAZINES.
SURGEONS CAN BE DOCTORS. THEY ARE VERY SPECIALIZED. AND TALENTED. PLUS THEY ARE NEEDED IN OUR SOCIETY TO HELP KEEP US HEALTHY.
SURGEONS CAN BE DOCTORS. THEY ARE VERY SPECIALIZED. AND TALENTED. PLUS THEY ARE NEEDED IN OUR SOCIETY TO HELP KEEP US HEALTHY.
SEE THE LOOK OF CONCERN ON THE MALE DOCTOR'S FACE? HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. HE STUDIES EVERYTHING FROM TOP TO BOTTOM ABOUT A PATIENT'S SICKNESS.
SEE THE LOOK OF CONCERN ON THE MALE DOCTOR'S FACE? HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. HE STUDIES EVERYTHING FROM TOP TO BOTTOM ABOUT A PATIENT'S SICKNESS.
DOCTORS HAVE TO BE ABLE TO READ X-RAYS THAT TELL HIM OR HER, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US.
DOCTORS HAVE TO BE ABLE TO READ X-RAYS THAT TELL HIM OR HER, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US.

Samples of outdated magazines found in some doctor's waiting rooms

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WITH A PLAYER FROM THE NEW YORK GIANTS.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WITH A PLAYER FROM THE NEW YORK GIANTS.
A COVER OF AN EARLY ROMANCE MAGAZINE THAT WAS PRETTY POPULAR IN IT DAY.
A COVER OF AN EARLY ROMANCE MAGAZINE THAT WAS PRETTY POPULAR IN IT DAY.
MODERN SCIENCE WAS AMONG THE FIRST HORROR MAGAZINE THAT TERRIFIED ITS READERS.
MODERN SCIENCE WAS AMONG THE FIRST HORROR MAGAZINE THAT TERRIFIED ITS READERS.
MODERN SCREEN DEALT WITH FILM STARS. SENSATIONS. AND SCANDALS.
MODERN SCREEN DEALT WITH FILM STARS. SENSATIONS. AND SCANDALS.
LIFE MAGAZINE IN ITS INFANCY. WHAT GLORY YEARS THESE WERE.
LIFE MAGAZINE IN ITS INFANCY. WHAT GLORY YEARS THESE WERE.
REMEMBER LOOK MAGAZINE? I'D SAY THAT THIS ISSUE IS NOT ONLY OUTDATED, BUT VINTAGE. MAYBE ANTIQUE.
REMEMBER LOOK MAGAZINE? I'D SAY THAT THIS ISSUE IS NOT ONLY OUTDATED, BUT VINTAGE. MAYBE ANTIQUE.
AN EARLY ROLLING STONE WHICH TODAY IS A THICK. COLORFUL. AND INFORMATIVE PUBLICATION FOR ALL TO READ.
AN EARLY ROLLING STONE WHICH TODAY IS A THICK. COLORFUL. AND INFORMATIVE PUBLICATION FOR ALL TO READ.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WITH COVER OF OLD PHILADELPHIA EAGLES IN ORIGINAL UNIFORMS.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WITH COVER OF OLD PHILADELPHIA EAGLES IN ORIGINAL UNIFORMS.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WHEN JOHN MCENROE WAS A TENNIS GREAT.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED WHEN JOHN MCENROE WAS A TENNIS GREAT.

It crept in like the gentle breezes of Gulfport, Mississippi and found a home in the humble waiting rooms of some doctors in our country. And even today, it is cause for concern for those of us who have to wait to see our doctor when we are sick.

I cannot tell you where it came from. Or why it chose to reside. Breed. And grow without hindrance. Inside the confines of doctor's waiting rooms. All I do know for sure is that to me, this is a "Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis That Has Caused Me Some Serious Alarm." And I am not too big. Or prideful to confess that I'm visibly-shaken by this 'silent monster' that is living comfortably under our very runny noses. This really bothers me.

I mean. We can with our highly-sophisticated laboratories of gifted research scientists, find cures for modern man's diseases. And we even landed on the moon in July of 1969. Plus other monumental scientific and medical breakthroughs that would boggle Albert Einstein. But we cannot do one solitary thing about the dangerous outbreak of outdated magazines found in doctro's waiting rooms. Sad. Depressing situation, folks. Or am I just whistling in the dark on this one?

Allow me to vent. Okay. Explain. No, I was right the first time. Vent. No one enjoys being sick. Although (to cover my bases) there might be a few people who love sickness to the point of getting their own reality television show, but I am not one of these special people. I like to be able to move about. Breathe unhampered. And enjoy life as I can. Are you still with me? I would wager that you are of the same opinion. Healthy bodies equal happy people. I would have said healthy minds, but people who know me will tell you that my mind is not that healthy.

When I visit my family physician I know two things will happen. One, if my appointment is for 10:00 a.m., I will get in to see my doctor at 1 p.m. That's just how it is. I've long accepted the fact that unless doctors start doing the house calls thing again, I will have to wait. And two, I will predictably walk around in my doctor's waiting room and find myself sifting through his collection of magazines and maybe find one that I can read while I'm waiting.

The reading part is no trouble. I took to reading in grade school quickly. But the finding a magazine. A current magazine. Is the primary area of concern for me. For in every doctor's office I've ever visited. And had to wait in their waiting room. I've yet to find an upgraded. Current magazine. Have you? If you have found a doctor's waiting room with such a magazine, would you be good enough to pass along the location? So I can visit this doctor and enjoy my wait with a current magazine. That's not asking for much. Is it?

If worse comes to worse "I" would even purchase, out of my own pocket, a current subscription to any magazine this doctor of yours chooses. And I would even do the same for my doctors I see on a regular basis. I don't see what the big deal is here. Money is made for using wisely. And for me, a current subscription to a popular. Timely. And informative magazine is using money wisely. Don't you agree? And ladies, I am not just talking about magazines that us guys love to read. Such as: Sports Illustrated; Mechanics Illustrated and Field and Stream. I would gladly buy a subscription to magazines you like. Such as: Redbook; Us; People: Modern Woman; "O" and more. Just say the word and I will whip out my checkbook and help put a stop to this literary 'menace' that can cause harm if not stopped in its tracks.

What harm are you talking about Kenneth? You ask. You did ask, didn't you? Don't tell me that the voices in my head are back. The harm that this Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis could cause are possibly some of the listings below:

  • False information for young children. If your toddler picks up a magazine that has John F. Kennedy's photo inside, this little one will think that Kennedy is still our president. See what I am talking about?
  • Ad Confusion for people who do not get out in public that much. And there are those among us who enjoy a 'hermit life,' but when they are forced to see a doctor and pick up a magazine with an ad for a Ford automobile selling for $4500.00, then there will be trouble for whatever Ford dealer they visit.
  • Heartbreak about some famous movie or television idol passing away. Just imagine the heartbreak that the person reading the outdated magazine will suffer when they read about their favorite celebrity not being with us anymore.
  • Dangerous over-the-counter-drug ads found in outdated magazines. Just what if the outdated magazine reader believes that the herb drug they see in an ad in this outdated magazine is true. And what's worse. They set out on a quest to find this herb medicine that's being called a 'wonder drug.'
  • And the tears of sadness that will be shed if the same reader reads of a certain television show they like that has been suddenly cancelled.

There are lots more harmful things that this Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis could do, but I don't want to bore you with a longer list that might frighten you. I have some compassion on people. I want my friends when they visit their doctor to not only be treated and then recover, but be updated. Upgraded on current events they can find only in updated magazines.

Can you imagine this sick person named, "Rosco," who suffers from massive sneezing episodes going to see his doctor and having to wait a few hours. Then reads. And absorbs every word of a political-related story in an outdated magazine? Harmful is not a proper description. Humiliating. Embarrassing. Leap to mind here. "Rosco," sees his doctor. Leaves the clinc. Then stops off at his favorite coffee shop hang-out, "Millie's Chat 'N Chew," and finds himself in a friendly discussion about who is better, a Republican or Democrat? "Rosco," takes long swig of his Maxwell House coffee, swaggers up to the counter where the two fellows discussing this subject are sitting, and says, "Well if you ask me, I think that Dwight D. Eisenhower is doing a swell job of running our country," and the two men look at "Rosco" in disbelief. And thoughts of him not being mentally-stable enter their minds. "Rosco," without his knowledge, has been the unwilling victim of The Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis. And doesn't bother to wonder why the two men suddenly had to leave the cafe.

What happened to "Rosco," can easily happen to you or I if we aren't careful. We just need to be not so assuming that the doctor we are seeing has updated magazines. We need to be on our guards to make sure that what we read is factual. Current. Up to date. We don't have to make a huge fuss about the doctor only providing us with outdated magazines, he (or she) has enough on his (or her) mind without us causing them more mental grief.

Here are a few of my personal opinions on why The Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis has found solid roots in our doctor's waiting rooms across the nation:

  • Financial Burden? Is the doctor who provides outdated magazines financially-burdened to the point of only having outdated magazines? As much money as the doctor makes, it only stands to reason they should have updated magazines in my thinking.
  • Communist Conspiracy? I hate to go off on the extinct Cold War of the 50's, but just maybe a foreign country who is secretly ruled by exiled Communists are forcing America's doctors to use outdated magazines as a way to brainwash our young people and then be able to take over our country without one shot.
  • Memory Problems? Could it be that as much as these doctors have had to study. Learn. And remember, that they have developed an undetectable memory problem in relation to keeping their magazine subscriptions updated? This might be possible.
  • Our Problem? Just maybe the doctors with outdated magazines in their waiting rooms are not aware that we are having to read old. Antiquated magazines. Maybe you or I should approach the doctor's office manager in a discreet manner and simply suggest that his or her boss update the waiting room magazines. After all, doctors, no matter how talented they are, are not Superman.

And with this hub being finished, we have our work cut out for us. We must start our own neighborhood-to-neighborhood, town-to-town, county-to-county, state-to-state campaign and then a surging nationwide team-effort to rid our valued doctors waiting rooms of this gloating menace, The Mysterious Outdated Magazine Crisis.

But as a favor to me, if you find any original Archie comic books, do not destroy them. I'd like to have them as a medal. A purple heart. For my humble efforts in this skirmish that will ultimately make our doctor's waiting rooms a more-pleasant place to wait. And read.


SPECIAL NOTICE:

This hub is

Sincerely Dedicated to:

J.S. Matthews

for his inspiration, humorous and logical thinking, and suggesting something that I find so truthful: Why do successful doctors not have current magazines in their waiting rooms.

Maybe this hub will raise awareness of this 'silent epidemic' that has swept the waiting rooms of our nation's gifted medical doctors.

This is a comedy-based hub. And has nothing at all to with health-related issues that concern men and women.

Thank you.

Kenneth Avery

Doctors' Waiting Room Magazine Quiz:

What type of magazine do you read when you visit your doctor?

See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments 60 comments

shea duane profile image

shea duane 4 years ago from new jersey

This is so funny. You are a strange man, ken!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

I judge any doctor I use by the quality of his/her waiting room magazines. I changed GYNs because the one recommended to me had only medical journals in hers. I don't buy subscriptions at home any more so I count on my doctors to provide a favorite pasttime.

My next qualifer for doctors is how many times I have to write the same information on all their forms. When will they ever set up a laptop and let me type my info in just one time and be done with it?


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 4 years ago from New Jersey

Hi Kenneth,

I needed a smile and you always bring one to my face! This important topic really needed to be addressed. In fact, I am appalled that it has not been addressed sooner. I would also add sexism to the mix, as many outdated magazines in doctor's offices are geared to women, when many of their patients are men. Plus I believe magazine people give the magazines free to doctors, since they know people will read them if they are stuck waiting there for hours (as we all are). My chiropractor is a kind man, and he takes book donations, and created his own "lending library" in one of the rooms in the building. It's cool, everyone adds to it, so he actually has bestselling novels while they are still on the bestseller list. So we can talk about books that are timely and sound like we know what's happening, at least in one area! I think it's amazing that you get these great hub ideas. Really. I have to try so hard to get ideas, and I usually decide they aren't too good. You are amazing and make so many people laugh. I hope you are feeling better lately. Take care.


SmartAndFun profile image

SmartAndFun 4 years ago from Texas

Very nice job on a funny hub. You seem to effortlessly find the great topics to write about. I wish I had your creativity!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL! shea...I agree. LOL, what a great comment. Seriously, LOL, we all fit into the great picture. Even strange people like me. I dearly love your comment, shea. Thank you.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kathleen,

you need to 'hub' your idea you had in your comment above. Filling out the same forms each time you see the same doctor. I do that every 3 months....even have to shade-in on a model drawing of a man the areas where I hurt. I have started shading-in ALL OVER THE cartoon man's body. The specialist remarked, "Hmmm, by this, you hurt all over," to which I should have said, "Duhhh," but my better judgement kicked in. You hit it on the head with your dissering the doctor by the amount of paperwork and updated books.

Id settle for 2 current books and NO paperwork.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dear Jean,

thank you so dearly, for your sweet comment which made me smile too. Thanks for the comments about this subject too. And sexist is the right word here. All of the doctors I see these days NEVER have any magazines for women. But less for men. Does that make sense...some have crumpled-up outdated newspapers from the day before. And with old news. Ive got to wonder if the doctors simply do not care that "we" are relaxed with a good magazine or just there and will read anything? Guess the mystery continues, Jean. Again, from my heart, THANK YOU KINDLY.

Your friend, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear smart and fun,

How do I thank you for your humble comment? Truth be told. It took me almost a week to find the right artwork for this hub. Plus another week to compile my EDITED thoughts. Although I do appreciate you and your comment very much, YOUR creativity is just as powerful and real as mine. Take my word for it. YOU are a terrific writer. I wish I had your talent for making your writing flow like a graceful dancer dressed in the finest silk. I really do.

Come back anytime and visit me again.

Sincerely,

KENNETH


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Kenneth, you always crack me up! I love the fact that you write about things we all face in life! You remind me of "Seinfeld" because that show was mostly about "real" life and I find that kind of humor the best! You're the Seinfeld of Hubbers! Thanks, once again, for my laugh for the day.


Lee B profile image

Lee B 4 years ago from New Mexico

I'm always happy to wait for the doctor if there are enough junky gossip magazines to read in the waiting room. If there are the expensive "Architectural Digest" type of publications, I know I cannot afford that doctor!


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

enjoyed reading this hub. Brought a smile to my face for I know what you meant!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, catgypsy! LOL! Your comment put a huge smile on my face. "The Seinfeld of hubbers," now that IS a great compliment. Thank you so much!!!! I guess I need a George, Kramer and Elaine to round-out the cast, huh? Cannot thank you enough, catgypsy. You are something special yourself.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Lee B., you are a wise girl in knowing that any doctor having "Agricultural Digest," in his or her waiting room, is expensive. So if he or she has a copy of MAD magazine, he or she is okay? LOL! Nice way to tell if you can afford a doctor, Lee B.! Thanks for the insight.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Picklesandrufus . . ."Thank you sincerely, for your kind comment. Not just on this hub, but all of my hubs that you left comments on. That makes me want to publish more hubs that will bring some laughs to my followers." Thanks so much. God bless you.

KENNETH


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Had to addd that this is why doctor's offices need your traveling doctor's office entertainer idea!


jenubouka 4 years ago

Kenneth,

Once again you have written a truth of annoyance to the point of a laugh out loud criteria of the things that make us common people go Hmmmm.

Just the other day I was painfully dumbfounded that Clinton was out of office and we were facing another election this year. Wha?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy, I never thought of that....the Travelling Waiting Room Entertainer thing...and yes, I could make extra $$$ by selling my service to magazines and deliver them to doctors' waiting rooms and then do my act. Wow, catgypsy...this is great. Thanks!

Love ya,

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Jean . . .LOL, that Clinton line was side-bursting. LOL, thank you so much for being a wonderful follower and one who encourages "green hand hubbers," like me. Oh, did you hear about The Beatles breaking up? True. I read it last week in my pain doctor's waiting room.

Had to share that.

KENNETH


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Dearest Kenneth,

First I apologize for the delayed response. I did receive your e-mail notification but I have not been online for a couple days as I was ill. In fact, I became ill after reading an outdated magazine when I took my kid to the doctor's office, which makes me think...

I think I figured it all out! After reading your theories, which are very plausible, I think I have the answer to why the Doc's keep the outdated mags' in their office. Just think about it...How many sick people visit the doctor? (I would think ALL of them) How many of these sickos are Coughing and Sneezing?

With that said, they are accumulating germs in these magazines and over time, they become breading grounds for more sick people! Consider it a measure of Job Security for these crafty people. A sure conspiracy at best. So there you have it!

My least favorite experience is when I see an ad in one of these magazines and quickly write down the contact information. When I get home to look up the product, I find that it no longer exists, has been proven to cause cancer, and is now a Major Lawsuit Settlement Agreement.

This has happened to me several times and so I began going to a psychiatrist for the depression I feel from being so misled. When I wait in the waiting room, guess what I do? That's right! Read Another Outdated Magazine, and then I have to go back to the other doctor's office to get treated for my sickness! This is getting expensive and time consuming, to say the least!

I am so glad that you brought this to our attention, and should you start a petition to stop this horrible cycle I shall be the first to sign it!

Thank you for another Wonderful Dedication! My heart is humbled and I am starting to feel a little better now! I have voted Up everything and shall share with others on the web so they can be aware of this shameful practice!

JSMatthew~

(AKA JSMatthews...)


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

Well said, Kenneth!

In my office, I throw away any magazine that is more than 2 months old. We have stacks and stacks for people of all ages. I find it a necessary thing. Although people do not normally wait long, I want to ensure that they're not awkwardly waiting, and have something to entertain them.

I think the responsibility is more on the office staff than the doctor. I've found that if the front desk staff is older or "behind the times", the magazines follow. That may be a bit judgmental, but my experience has been exactly that.

Anyway, I absolutely agree with you & am happy to see another fabulous hub from you! =] I hope that you are doing well!


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Excellent hub. I enjoy cars and fishing myself, so I'm always looking for those type of magazines. ...push comes to shove, I'll look for a cooking magazine to read while I wait.

Voted up

John


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Fun Fun! I'm glad I don't go to the doctor much. However I just mentioned to my beautician it would be nice to be able to read up to date magazines while I am waiting for her to get around to me. HaHa. I love your thoughts on having to read outdated magazines.


Kathleen Kerswig 4 years ago

I now consider myself very fortunate. When I go to my doctor's office, the magazines are current. The outdated ones are at the nail salon I usuually go to. I may need to leave this hub in someone's sights at the salon so they will get current magazines for us to read. LOL. Thank you for sharing. Voted up and "funny"!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Kenneth as a retired nurse who has worked in these clinics and have seen it with my own eyes,it is a shame. I think you are on the right track as far as going to the clinic's manager... better yet, print out this wonderful hub and send them a copy in their Christmas card...if you can't wait that long...just hand it to that cute receptionist that does not have a clue, make sure it is marked in a sealed envelope..this information is vital..and tell her to give it to the Doctor...If I only knew..I did not..I would have been on it fast and furious. I worked in Urology so I can only imagine the reading material they had out there..Monthly magazine on mens prostate health or No more leaking..lets tuck your bladder! hahaha..This was so good..I am facebooking..tweeking, and emailing..did I miss anyone?

Hugs,

Sunnie


greatstuff profile image

greatstuff 4 years ago from Malaysia

Hi Ken. Good hub and very observant of you. Actually I personally don't mind reading old issues or even magazines that are decades old. There might be articles that gives me inspiration to write for my HubPages! Although the newer magazines will do likewise, the perspective of the older magazine is worth looking into.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Wow Kenneth,

This is terrific and hilarious. You should run for President this year. I get a little offended when I wait in a doctor's office. It seems the doctor brings in his leftover magazines and they all showcase the wealthy lifestyle he or she lives. It is always something exoctic that wealthy people would subscribe to. Whether it is exotic cars, travel, homes.. it kind of feels like the doctor is rubbing it in. But it is true that there are many outdated magazines available. That is so funny and I will now chuckle every time I pick one up. You are a riot!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, JS! Glad to hear from you, and so sorry for your "illness," to which I tip my hat to you. Again. For uncovering yet another medically-related, doctor-based, insurance-payment treadmill that unless we do something quick. The sicknesses we all suffer will go from an occasional flu or maybe a cold, to a frequency that would boggle the minds at NASA. You need to write a follow-up hub talking about this latest conspiracy. I think it's not only plausable, but feasible. I sometimes get a kick out of actually taking time to read a few paragraphs of magazines in my doctor's office. One cutie called MD Health...a sophisticated-looking glossy-covered job with a noted celebrity on the cover such as Mary Tyler Moore sharing, "I Almost Became A Facelift Guinea Pig," or something like that. Now, JS, hold on to your suspenders. I happened across a "Self-Help Section" in the same magazine discussing like you said, flu, colds and depression. Did you know that one of the tips for avoiding such things was to first, "Inspect the waiting room for tissues and things that sick patients had left behind when leaving...if I had only known.

I did love the black and white ad about saving on the nation's newest time-saver, Ford tractors.

Thanks for your upbeat comment, JS. You are always a delight and inspiration to read.

Kenneth "cough" "cough"


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear Veronica, "Thank you sincerely for your comment of pure understanding. You are right on your assumption of the much-senior employee...I think that YOU should hold an inner-office take-over and YOU start filling up the waiting room with CURRENT magazines that your people will enjoy. And even use this tip to insure that YOU get the cudo's . . .Print up small notes saying, "This Current magazine idea was by VeroniaFarkias," and see the fans start to forming a Love Veronica Club. And as for my health...not so good. The current rainstorms have caused more painful episodes with the Accelerated Fibro and Neurothopy. Even now at this typing, Im medicated enough to stop a charging rhino.

But I DO appreciate YOU reading this hub. And taking time to stop by and comment.

God bless you, my Good friend.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

John: Nice move. Don't feel bad. I too like car and writer's magazines...but if they are being used...I sneak a copy of Soap Opera Scandals and hide it behind a copy of Progressive Politician. It pays to not expose too much.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, mljdgulley . . .you are very blessed to not visit doctors that much. And your beautician should do the wise thing and SHARE her UPDATED magazines with area doctors. Believe me. This would make for a more-peaceful existence for all residents.

Thank you kindly for your comments.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Kathleen, nice idea you have. And as a matter of fact, I don't care if they know my name as the author of this hub. We need to band together and stop this "magazine monster" before it gets WORLD WIDE. Okay? Let me know how your plan worked. Im interested to know.

Thanks for your appreciated votes and comments.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Nice to see you again, Dear Sunnie,

Thank you for you're agreeing that I may be on the right track by talking about this outdated magazine crisis. Yes, I will definitely leave a FOR DOCTORS EYES ONLY note to "Muffy," the cute receptionist asking, well, begging, for magazines with current president and NFL Super Bowl Champs...of course, Eli and The New York Giants...if they win, Feb. 5, you read it here first.

Hugs back to ya,

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, greatstuff,

I have to admit freely that you DO have a point about getting inspiration from older magazines, but to me, and its only my opinion, that new magazines do not depress me as much as the older ones. In the older ones I see a simple America. With simple values. And a country that was proud to be #1 in industry and production. In the newer magazines, the cartoons are funnier.

Thanks for your insightful comment.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Tammy: It is so wonderful to see you again and read your hilarious-yet-truthful comments. And YOU are the riot here, girl. Not I. I like your part of the comment about exotic cars, homes and vacations and they doctor is rubbing it in on us. Well, volunteer a FREE updated magazine to HIM or HER when you leave...The Latest I.R.S. Cases Solved...see what a change in magazines the next time you visit their office.

Thanks, Tammy, for ALL of your SWEET comments. I feel happier right now.

I.O.U. big time.

KENNETH


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 4 years ago from Orange County, California

Very funny! My doctor and your doctor are two of a kind; I can make my appointment the very first appointment of the day, (8 am) and still not see him until ten-thirty or eleven..I mean really, how can you be behind already if I am your first patient of the morning? He also has a collection of outdated magazines, and the collection does seem to grow bigger overtime, but yet, there are no new magazines... Maybe they get them from a secret warehouse somewhere that specializes in really old and outdated reading material for doctor's offices? Thank you for the laugh! Voted up, funny, and interesting.


The Dirt Farmer profile image

The Dirt Farmer 4 years ago from United States

Really funny! If only the mags were as outdated as those pictured, they'd be awesome to read. It would be a history lesson!! Fantastic pics. Vote up!


marellen 4 years ago

Good morning Kenneth...You hit the nail on the head with this hub. I can't tell you how many times I have seen magazines that are two or three years old in my doctors office. What does he pay his staff to do? Someone should take the responsibility to provide recent material to read and please throw out the old. That is why I bring a book with me to read. Problem solved.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello and YOU ARE RIGHT, K. Burns Darling! in at 8 and by 10:30 going back to wait some more. I've actually experienced this at one of my doctor's offices...if the outdated magazines weren't torture enough, I waited from 12:30 p.m. until 2 p.m. IN THE FIRST waiting room. Then a nurse took me to THE DOCTOR'S EXAM ROOM for another 2 hour wait. And I could hear the doctor outside in the hall saying, "I think (he or she) will be next...what??? Didn't I make an appointment? Now get potluck? Something is fishy, K. Burns. Maybe YOU should take this problem on and write your own Hub of Frustration and I will be the FIRST to support you.

Thanks again.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

You are also right, The Dirt Farmer....I WOULD not have written this to begin with IF the outdated mags were vintage like these. NO way. Instead I would have written about How Great It Is For Modern-Day Doctors To Provide (True) Vintage Magazines For Patients . . .I know that I would do that.

Thanks for your input.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Correct, marellen! What does the staff do? I agree with K. Burns Darling that doctors may get their outdated magazines from a secret Outdated Magazine Warehouse somewhere in Hoboken, N.J. sent in via secret UPS trucks after darkness. And you have the RIGHT idea to bring a book. YOU WILL never be frustrated at reading how "Women Have Now Just Gotten The Vote" in an Old LOOK magazine.

Sincerely, KENNETH


mandymoreno81 profile image

mandymoreno81 4 years ago

I've always wondered, where do these magazines come from? There's a whole bunch that I've never heard of and I wonder who actually reads them or buys them these days.


hoteltravel profile image

hoteltravel 4 years ago from Thailand

This is hilarious. Thanks kenneth for the laugh. I remember this dentist I went to as a teenager. He was a very religious person and he kept only such magazines and books. I was forced to visit him every week to check the progress of braces. How I hated those visits! Voting this up and funny!


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth

So true my friend and very funny.

Voted up up and away!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear mandymoreno81,

Thank YOU kindly, for your comment. So that theory is true. The type of magazines in his or her waiting room reflects what kind of person they are, huh? In your dentist' case, this was right. I may have to do more undercover investigating.

Thanks for your comment.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, hoteltravel,

I appreciate you comments and compliments. Glad to be able to make you laugh. Bringing happiness, although for just a moment sometimes, makes me know that my life is not lived in vain. Have a great week ahead and visit anytime.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Sueswan, how are you? Been missing your interaction on hubs, but I suppose that you have been busy. Thanks a lot for your comment on this hub and the needed (and appreciated) votes. I canno repay you except with two words, "Thank YOU!"

Have a Great Week next week. Be careful.

Sincerely, Kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth

It has been very hectic at work and I am beat when I get home so that is why you haven't seen too much of me lately. I hope all is well with you my friend.

Take care and have a great week.

Sincerely, Sue


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

January 30, Dearest Susan . . .I understand completely. When Iwas in the workforce, those exhausted 16-28 hour days would catch me about noon the next day. NO wonder that Im in the shape Im in. But no pity party here. Glad for your friendship and following, Dearest Susan. Get some sleep. Rest. And take care.

Sincerely, Kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

Thank you for your friendship and understanding. :-)

Have a good evening.

Sincerely, Sue


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan . . .no problem. Well, YES, a problem IF YOU do not slow down. Pace yourself. Life is very short. And I am as understanding as the Biblical man, Job. Just do not overdo.

Sincerely and Take CARE . . .KENNETH


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Kenneth, this is why I always have ample reading material with me. This crisis affects us all, and will only get worse with the advent of the infernal kindle


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

You are 100% RIGHT, PDXKaraokeGuy! Absolutely right. When I visit my doctor most every month, the first thing I do is take a quick scan of her waiting room to see if she has updated material. If not, I whip out my cellphone and play a few quiet games to pass the time. I cannot stand to read old news.

Thanks again.

Kenneth


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

well, whatever works for entertainment :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

And the big bucks. I want to donate a portion of MY funds to a deserving charity, NOT a political party and then buy a 12-gig PC with 1Mil. Ram. Then hire 50 people to write 20 hubs a day for 2 months at $50.00 an hour. Then vacate to Palm Springs under my new name.

Okay?


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

sure, kenneth... i could use $50.00 an hour...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

. . .well, PDXKaraoke Guy . . .when the windfall comes my way...watch and see if I don't do this. Im talking bales of money--that would make even Forrest Gump jealous. Hey, Id buy everyone in Lavurne, Alabama, a small town like Gump lived in, everyone a new Snappper mower. Lavurne is just above Destin, Florida where I will retire under an obscure alias and give money to deserving people and causes every year.

That's the plan.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

well this is so funny.. You are probably right about it all.. LOL

Blessings

Debbie


Jules 4 years ago

Funny! I work in a dr office and we can no longer afford to order magazines. Have to rely on freebies (which are usually industry related and dull) or donations. When we get them, our otherwise sweet patients inevitably steal them within a day. As a patient, it's a very cool feeling to come across a recent mag tho and says a lot about the practice.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dear Debbie,

thanks for your sweet comment. I appreciate you taking time to leave me your words. I may not be right on it all, but from personal experience, SOME doctor's waiting rooms COULD stand some upgrading in the magazine department. Might lead to happier patients.

You have a great day!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Jules,

you are right on both counts. With the case of MY primary health care provider, I take her all of my magazines--TV guides and others and they are NOT that old either, so her patients can enjoy them. Until someone has had to wait for a long period of time, not just in a doctor's office, they cannot understand how boring it really is if YOU DO NOT have an iPad, Kendall or other electronic past times.

That's why I advocate a magazine drive for our doctor's waiting rooms. We could change the country!

What do you think?

Kenneth

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