Nerd DNA: Archie gets an A

Chapter I: The LAT exams

"You can do this Archie. You are ready." I say to myself, while staring at my reflection in the mirror.


I was standing in the boys bathroom pumping myself up. My hands rubbing across the smooth porcelain sink. I knew this sink was filthy, but somehow the cold against my palms was helping me relax. Why was I nervous? Because, in thirty seconds I was gonna be sitting in Ms. Rivers classroom taking the most important test that I have ever taken. The LAT exams. I'm sure you have never heard of these exams, because these exams are exclusive to my school. I have been studying for these exams all week, and I'm determined that I'm gonna ace this test. I stare at reflection one more time, and give myself a confident wink, before strutting through the bathroom doors.

I entered Ms. Rivers class, and sit down between my two best friends, Yuki and Booger. I could smell the Jelly doughnut that Booger was eating before I entered the room.

Booger has been my best friends since before I could remember. We both like awesome things like Star Wars, and Japanese comic books. We are not very popular, but at least we have each other.

Yuki is my other best friend, and the only girl in the world who would ever be caught talking to me. Sometimes I dunno what she is thinking by hanging with two guys with the social status of Booger and I. Yuki actually has a chance to be normal in this school but instead she crucifies her reputation everyday by sitting with the two of us.

"Dude, why is your face all wet?" Asked Booger

"Archie are you sick? You look like you have Malaria." Says Yuki, covering her mouth with her hand, just in case I was contagious.

"I'm fine, guys. I wet my face, because I'm super pumped about these LAT's. I'm gonna get my first A."

Yuki and Booger laugh

"Highly doubtful." says Booger, as bits and pieces of Jelly doughnut popped from his mouth

Even though Booger was my best friend, but he also had the least amount of confidence in me. He calls it tough love. I can't say that I blame him in this case. I have been to school everyday for the past year, and I have never earned an A in anything. Not gym. Not science. Not anything. And, thats why I prepared so hard for this test. Yuki is a straight A student, and she barely has to study. It's like she was born smart. Her brain is like a super computer. She can remember stuff that she read in a book, like two years ago.. And, even though Booger is not as smart as Yuki, he has still earned a couple A's this school year.


"Boogs, I have been studying for this test all week. I know the capital of every country in the world. I know the temperature of the sun. I even know how many inches in a mile. If I don't ace this test, then I am really the dumbest kid in the world.


"I thought we already proved that." Says Booger, jokingly

Yuki gives me credit for my effort, but she also reminded me that there are a lot of other things on this test that I needed to know… and this isn't the kinda test that an 8th grader aces.


"This test is to show how much you know. The grade really doesn't matter." says Yuki "Its really for the teachers to know exactly what they are teaching, and what they need to focus on for next year."


"That's hogwash, Yuki." says Booger, laughing and spitting more doughnut onto his desk.

"There is NO such thing as a grade that doesn't matter. We are being tested. There are always consequences when you don't do well on tests."


As much as I hated to admit, but I felt the same way as Booger. This test meant everything to me, because a good grade on this test could put me in all the brainiac classes that Yuki and Boogs are taking next year.


Before I could finish that thought, the classroom door slams, and Mrs. Rivers walks in, dragging her feet the way she always did. Ms Rivers is a very small and dainty lady, but that was not her personality. She had the personality of a junkyard dog. She was voted meanest, and most hated teacher fifteen years in a row. She slides over to her desk, opens the drawer, and pulls a stack of papers out. That must be the test. I could feel my heart starting to pump a little faster. I took a couple deep breaths to slow down my heart, and rubbed the cold side of my desk in order to relax me.


"Pencils out. Mouths clothes." Says Mrs. Rivers, sternly.


She stood in front of the classroom staring directly at me. She knew my history, and she probably thought that I wasn't gonna have a pencil. But, when I pulled a pencil out of my pocket I could see a pleasantly surprised look on her face. The look quickly vanished, because the Junkyard dog, never smiles for more than 1.2 seconds. She hands the stack of tests to the students in the fronts row, and asked them to pass the stack back until everyone in the row had a test. Yuki sits in front of me, so when she saw the first question on the test, she smiled.

"Question number one is easy." Whispers Yuki

I take my test, and and pass the rest of the copies to Booger who was sitting behind me. I look down at question number one.


"What is the temperature of the sun?" I whisper to myself.

A huge smile, exploded onto my face. I knew this one. I knew the answer to this question. I look around the room to see if anyone could hear the party that was going on inside my head. I scribble down my answer and go on to question number two.

"What is the capital of Connecticut?" I whisper to myself.

I felt like dancing. The party in my head, just upgraded to a full blown New Years Eve Extravaganza. I looked around the room again, to see if anyone could hear the marching bands inside my head. I scribble down my answer, and move on to the next question..
I continued answering the questions, when the test was finished. I stood up, and handed my test to Mrs. Rivers.


"Finished already, Huffnagle?" says Mrs. Rivers, peering at me from behind her bifocals.
I nod my head, and go back to my seat. When the school bell rang, Yuki, Boobs and I exit the classroom.


"So, how did you do?" I asked

Booger shrugged his shoulders, and grabbed the combination lock on his locker. Yuki explained that she feels good about the test, even though there was one question that confused her a little bit.


Chapter II: The Test Results

When I got home, I couldn't focus on anything. Mrs. Rivers was gonna electronically correct the tests, and give us the grades tomorrow. I dunno how I was gonna wait another 24 hours to find out if I got my first A. I lay awake in my bed until about midnight, thinking of all the possible scenarios that would prevent me from getting my first A.


The next day, in Mrs. Rivers Class I sat patiently awaiting the class grades. As always, she stood in front of the classroom, holding the tests.


"I am very pleased with the grades that were earned on the LAT exam." Says Mrs. Rivers. "Everyone passed, but there was only one A earned in this class."


I could feel the butterflies fluttering around inside my stomach. And, all of a sudden my mouth was seriously dry.


"The top grade in this class belong to… "


I close my eyes, and say a little prayer.


"Archie Huffnagle." says Mrs. Rivers.


I did it! I did it! I got my first A. I snatched the test from Mrs. Rivers and look at the it. There was a big red A on the front, and it showed that I only got one question wrong out of ten. 9 out of 10 aint bad. Mrs. Rivers encouraged everyone the clap for me. I turn around, and see Booger clapping, and Yuki gave me a "thumbs up." I was so proud of myself.. Leaving the class, holding my test I thought about how much time I wasted being an average student, and how if I focused myself I could get grades like this all the time. I was awesome.


"Congratulations, Archie." says Booger and Yuki


"Thanks guys. What grades did you guys get on the test?" I asked.


"Boogs and I both got B's," says Yuki "8 of 10 questions correct."


I giggle a little bit to myself.


"Wow… how did you get two questions wrong? That test was so easy."
Boogs and Yuki groan.


"A B+ is not a bad grade, Archie." says Yuki


"You are right Yuki, but clearly you guys need to study a little bit harder before you can be on my level.


"Your level? Archie this is the first A you have ever earned. I get A's all the time." Says Yuki, becoming annoyed.


"Well, Yuki… thats only because I have never applied myself. Obviously, if I focused my attention I would be getting all A's too. It's really not that hard."


"Whatever, Archie." says Booger. "I think all that studying has made you stupid."


"You guys are just jealous." I say


Boogs and Yuki walk away


When I got home, I put the test on the refrigerator where my mom could see it. My parents were so excited that the took me out for ice cream after dinner. When I got home, I turned on my X-Station video game so I could play Knights and Dragons with Booger, online. We always play Knights and Dragons together online, before bed, but tonight Booger was not online. I turn off the video game and check if I received any emails from Yuki. My inbox was empty. I guess they are still mad at me because I got a better grade than them on the test.


Chapter III: The Corrections

The next day in school, we all walked in to Mrs. Rivers classroom. She was standing in front of the room, waiting for everyone to find there seats, and get settled in. When everyone was quiet, she made another announcement.


"Attention class, I have an embarrassing announcement. There was a huge mistake made yesterday while grading the tests. The computer miscalculated the grades from this classroom, and some of the grades have been changed. So, if you answered C for question number 5, then your grade will go up. If you didn't answer C for number 5, then your grade will go down.


I swallow hard. My test was still on my fridge, so I sat there trying to remember if I got question number five right or wrong.


"So, with that being said, there were two A's earned on this test." says Mrs. Rivers. "And, those grades belong to Booger and Yuki."


"What the…?" I say. "What happened to my A?"


"I'm sorry, Archie. You got question five wrong. So, your grade drops from and A, to a B+" says Mrs. RIvers.


My head, and my shoulders drop. I could hear some light giggling from across the room. I slowly raised my hand, and asked Mrs. Rivers if I could be excused to the bathroom. She handed me the hall pass, and I found myself back in the same bathroom where I was pumping myself up, before Mrs. Rivers test. Even though I had the third best grade in the whole class, I felt like I had failed the test. I was so mean, and cocky to Booger and Yuki, and now I was embarrassed. The sound of the school bell rang as I take a deep breath and exit the restroom. Standing outside the restroom was Yuki and Booger, waiting for me with my backpack and books.


"What's up, Archie?" says Yuki, as she hands me my stuff.


I shrug my shoulders.


"I was so close." I say. "So close. I almost did it."


"Congratulations on getting the best grades in the class. You guys are awesome. I'm sorry I was such a jerk yesterday. I think my brain was still adjusting to the feeling that I was actually smart." I continue.


"Archie, don't say that. You are smart. Very smart. You should be proud. Maybe you didn't get an A on the test, but you definitely got an A for effort. You worked hard for your grade." says Yuki.


"Yeah, a B is still a better grade than you usually get." Says Booger.


Yuki and I look at Booger and groan.


"Boogs, the plan was to make Archie feel better… not worse. says Yuki.


"It's cool, Yuki. I get it. I appreciate everything that you guys said. I know if I work a little bit harder, I will finally get that A that I want. And, maybe if I had two SUPER cool tutors, it would be a little easier." I say, laughing.


"No Problem." says Yuki "Next week we have the Mid-Terms. If you want, we can go to the library after school and study."


"Sounds like fun." I say. "Let's do it."

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