New Beginnings.........In Continuation.

   I just read another hubbers words about grieving , about losing a loved one to death, though , more than the loss , her hub was about the prayer and the promise of living on. As always , on hubpages , I learn the lesson ,once again, that for the survivors of loss the single most important factor in survival is the acceptance of life without the living of that person in our presence. Of course , it matters as well , when and how we lose that loved one .
    This hub got me to thinking about the effects of loss and how each of us deals with it , When I began writing about ten years ago I actually began writing as a way to deal with just this very important part of life. Now, for some people , the losing of a loved one happens at a very young age and for others , that timing isn't as developmentally disabling as perhaps losing one in adulthood. Although losing someone to death is to know the meaning of trauma itself . Often we look at the young as perhaps paying the highest price in dealing emotionally with loss or trauma.
   What I would say is this ; it doesn't matter how old or young we are at the time of loss. What really matters is how we deal with it, and perhaps even how we project that experience to other loved ones around us. This beautiful soul that wrote about losing her husband last year ,doing so in poetic form, wrote of her pain and that of her children, she carried a promise of hope and faith in the health of mind and heart and the ultimate promise of one day again, seeing her husband.
   We all know that the loss of a loved one and the healthy survival of our hearts is an ongoing process , we deal each and every day with it, this process is not ever something that completes itself, it surfaces uncontrollably and it does so , at times, unmercifully . You may be in school giving a presentation as a student , you might be watching a movie , or dancing at a wedding reception . You could be working in your flower garden , raking the lawn or driving down the highway. But it might be anywhere or anytime.
    The point here is this , each and every one of us attains a level of acceptance , the last phase of process in traumatic change , in our own time , in our own way and in our own hearts. The single most important thing that I observe in survivors is this though , a progressive acceptance of that loss, a progress of not allowing ourselves to become bogged down in any phase of loss. I think that she did this so well in her hub that I'm going to tell you who she is.
   We should all read "Fossillady's" hub , and there are so many others too ! Hers is but one of those that project a perfect message that we can all take too heart ! I was struck by her positive words , poetry and compassion. She has a couple of poems dealing with loss , as many that I have been so lucky to encounter here on HubPages have , and there are too many to mention.
   For me , I can only say that finding a place like Hub Pages has helped me see alot of things differently in my life. How that , when we join together with others , we become something better! We become somehow more complete . Thank you Fossilady and so many others for all you do !



Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am a diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am a gentle autumn rain

When you wake in the morning hush
I am the swift upflinging rush
I am quiet birds in circling flight
I am soft starshine at night

Do not stand by my grave and cry.....
I am not there . I did not Die.

Author Unknown......

Comments 15 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Learning to cope with the death of loved ones is a necessity of life.It is especially true for family members.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Dahoglund , Yes sir it is! There is so much and so many here with great messeges of this ! Be well my man.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Thank you for this beautiful tribute to hope, faith and love. I will indeed read Fossilady's Hubs.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Also wanted to share this beautiful poem by the talented Sara Teasdale: Alchemy

I lift my heart as spring lifts up

A yellow daisy to the rain;

My heart will be a lovely cup

Altho' it holds but pain.

For I shall learn from flower and leaf

That color every drop they hold,

To change the lifeless wine of grief

To living gold.

~Sara Teasdale


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Sara Teasdale. I'll have to check her writing out Hyphenbird . That is beautiful! Thank you for giving that to us. Be well.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Just one word;

Beautiful

Take care

Eiddwen.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Eiddwen Thank you so much. I have truely found a treasure her in hubs, and its the ones brhind the hub , like yourself that are the real treasure.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Your words are beautiful and thank you, ahorseback, for including that beautiful poetry at the end of your piece. It made me think of the loss of my father and how lucky I was to call him dad. I get reminders from him that he is watching over me. Yesterday, as I turned the corner of the building where I live, a bird flew so close to me, I felt the flutter of his wing, yet he did not touch me. You just reminded me that my dad flew in for a visit on a day that had left me with ruffled feathers. Up, up and away!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Amy , You see , thats what the poem says , I'm very sorry ,still about "Dad", and they are never gone , I believe and you do too! Thank you ! always .


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Well, your thoughtfulness and compassion means a great deal to me. You have honored the memory of my husband and the lives he left behind with your kind soul! Hubpages provides us opportunities to connect with people on a deep level and air our thoughts and feelings! The first hub I read of yours was about the loss of your dear brother at a young age and I was immediately connected to you in spirit! I love the way you ended this with a beautiful poem and I do believe our loved ones stay close to us and give us signs they are around! Whenever I hear chimes, I think of him saying hello from heaven! Thank you for sharing your warm thoughts, stay well my friend


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

And to you too , Fossilady, Now I know ! You're one of us! Be well. and Keep up the writing, we need you here! Hugs.


Selene_A_Merchant profile image

Selene_A_Merchant 5 years ago

Wow, insightful hub. Beautiful poem, as well. Good work, Ahorseback, keep it up!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Salene A Merchant, Thank you for sharing.:-]


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

This is a beautifully written Hub that touches upon a tender topic. Unfortunately, we live on borrowed time and during it life throws us too many curve balls, but to remain whole after loss is truly something powerful. It is this gaining of composure feeling, I think that is somehow instinctual that takes over but never let's us forget, and why should we--we are capable to feel..to feel sorrow, even deeply, for those who have walked beside us and we've had the greatest honor and utmost pleasure to have known them... Thanks for this Hub and sorry for all who are missing and hurting from losses..some voids just aren't meant to ever dissappear..my youth dissappeared overnight and it sure feels like I will never recover from it...but alas, I am learning and feeling every step of the way.. Fossillady I am terribly sorry for your loss..

MM


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Maggie May , We are so lucky here , are we not? To share! To share those things important to us all, and in doing that we reach out a hand of comfort to another. No matter that we are "strangers" , I find it amazing that somehow, each of us is able to touch another soul in sharing and in caring. I hope you are well. And ....I also hope you find another publisher ! Have you though of the "self publishing" sites , some seem promising! Good luck and take care.

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