Night Time Lover


She snuggles her head into the pillows and pulls the covers up tight around her shoulders hoping they will feel as if she’s being held by her lover.

For weeks now he has come to her in her dreams and even the bad dreams are better than life awake with the lonely ache that fills every moment.

They meet in the darkness and her heart comes alive with the joy of seeing him after all of these years. The same feelings are present, just as clear and as strong as they were over twenty odd years ago.


Even in slumber she is helpless to keep him with her though and often he is with another. Still, just being close to him is enough to satisfy. What is this that she longs for? Why does his memory stay so clear? Is it him, really him, or is it the way she felt at that time, that age?

Was life really so much better back then?


It's tempting, when your life is not going as you planned, when you are at a stand-still or going through trials, to long for times passed, perhaps even old lovers and friends whom have gone missing from our lives. It's very easy to compare the vast dry desert of your current situation to the memories of feeling loved, alive and every aspect of life being as vibrant as the noon day sun. A few fleeting moments of this is fine and I'm sure we've all felt it, but what about when it consumes your thoughts? What about when the desire to recreate your past becomes an obsession?

But what if life really was so much better and there is the slightest chance you can recreate that time, within the limits of how our lives have changed? Would you try? Would you seek out old lovers and friends, trying to rekindle the feelings of many years ago? How much time and energy would you put into it, if you would, and what lengths would you go to in your search for that fleeting happiness?

I think it will be very interesting to read your comments. Please take up as much room as you need to state your opinion and then explain it.

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Comments 34 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I've tried on several occasions to rekindle old friendships and for me it never is as good as I remembered it being in the past. I think because we change, they change, circumstances change and its just never the same as it was in the past. My sons have a saying which they use: That was then, this is now." They mean it in a different context but it came to me while I was reading your hub. This is a very interesting hub and I look forward to seeing what others have to say.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....well I just want to be a night time lover of your words and thoughts and you always manage to provoke and inspire me with your writing - and that's a dream in itself which lends itself to the actual reality of the situation - I am awake and I am alive and I am free - because you have put me there!!!

Sending warm wishes your way with good energy too and I just woke up from night shift sleep - and deep sleep for me is when I'm dreaming otherwise known as REM sleep (rapid eye movement)

lake erie time ontario canada 3:01pm


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Meeting an old flame can be quite a shock. Sometimes you walk away with a silent sigh of relief, trying to hide a grin.

People change, and your old friends remember you as you were, not as you are, and many want to forget those days.

Good Hub!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

It has never worked out for me--so after a couple of times, I stopped going down that road---too much water under the bridge for me


rwelton profile image

rwelton 4 years ago from Sacramento CA

Pooh - long time - been away. Enjoyed the comments as well as your post. We are all probably guilty of trying to recreate and live the good parts of our past...we forget they ended for a reason and there is only so much control we can exert on the present, let alone the past...I enjoy your thoughts.

rlw


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

First let me commend you on your fine scribe. The poet in you brought out the wholesome lady who is rich with thoughts, your much a dreamer like myself. I often drift in and out of dreams like what you write here. Sometimes never wanting to come out of them.

There was a place in time for us all, we grew out of experiences we had. Sometimes we would love to have stayed, but destiny has a way of taking us all on another course or into another lovers hearts and open arms.

I never look back, once I've left a situation, it's behind me. Although there have been a few I would have loved to have stayed in and never left. I believe I have the gypsy spirit, always wanting to be on the move. I tried marriage twice and YES I did work hard in both of them. But somehow it just never worked out for me.

I was meant to be a loner, keep a few close friends and love animals better than many humans. This has proven to have worked out the best for me. Yet deep down inside I hunger for my soul mate, I think she must have crossed over already, so I will just have to do that as well to find her in eternity. Great work here Pooh, you never fail to surprise me with your talent.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

@ rwelton - I'll say you've been away for a while. Wow, you are the most active person I know. Looks as if life is good. SO many irons in the fire with the music, your blog, work and all. I'm honored, as usual, that you took time to come here.

It's interesting to see how people feel about this subject. So far - leave the past in the past - seems to be winning.


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

interesting...but let life at that...it's hard going back to an old flame...so many unresolved issues that will keep on haunting you...better to move on with life and embrace the experiences it brings...


SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 4 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

..now i get your fb comment...ha ha ha....it is what it is....i say 'leave it behind you' - good memories should stay and put a smile on your face and warm your heart/soul


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Guilty as charged SOH, my friend. But the good news is I've moved on to nightmares. They are so much easier to deal with once you're awake.


stars439 profile image

stars439 4 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Phoenix : Your thoughts, and messages about appreciating life are wonderful. I often find where times are better when we can take a breath of fresh air, and not remain inside so much.

In times of distress, or of heartbreaking moments, sorrow, or worry, I since the healing powers of the green beautiful earth we live in. A cool brisk feeling of the outdoor air helps. The feeling of sunlight. The vision of leaves falling, or limbs shifting outdoors.

The songs of nature, the sound of birds, or the natural sounds of the creatures made by God. All of this is a pleasant reminder that life is a timed blessing that we can enjoy only for a short while.

I love the feeling of the beautiful earth, and I know it heals new, and old wounds.

I often notice how much fresher air is outdoors, than indoors. And I am reminded in moments of unpleasant moments how much enviornment has to do with our moods. Somewhere I believe I once read, or heard that we are all products of our enviornments which makes good since.

If we are in wars, or in battles it seems we think like soldiers. If we are young, and surrounded by violence , or of the back street cities, or slums, we seem to absorb those kind of surroundings, and talk slum talk, or sometimes turn to violence ourselves.

They say money is not everything, but individuals that can enjoy luxurious vacations on cruise ships, or air planes, or Rome, Italy the alps, Egypt, or so many interesting lands, the cultures , and all the beauty that we can not see in our back yards , can be portions of joy.

So what can we do if we are not rich ? I guess the rest is left up to what God has provided for us all. Maybe we should all remember that beauty is in the simple joys of life like watching a playful kitten rolling in the grass, or when a child picks a beautiful daisy , and says look , look how pretty my gift is to you.

God gave us nature. And how we see it is left up to us.

These things you know, and are aware of already, and they are why you are a writer with a wealth of fascinating thoughts .

I like everyone else can easily fall into dips, but when I open my front door, and open my eyes wider , I can see why I am still here.

No matter what happens, your life is your gift for the split seconds we have on earth, compared to and eternity of dust.

God Bless You Dear Heart.

Money may not be everything, but letting your hair down in a sports car just might make the difference between a depressed moment, or a fascinating thrill.

(OOPS THIS IS LONGER THAN I INTENDED )


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Oh my dear buddy, stars, it's not one word too long. It's just perfect. You are so wise and all you say is true. We do take for granted all of the beautiful blessing we have right in the here and now and don't have to wish for the future or things past. There is a time for every season, and God willing the next season will be one of beauty and the renewing of the earth in all of it's majesty.

I really appreciate you coming by, reading and leaving such an uplifting comment.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

@Vincent - Thank you for your kind comments. I too prefer the company of animals sometimes. They are loyal and unforgiving of our mistakes and flaws, only in search of a warm home, a good meal and someone to love them ... hmmm much like what I look for in life - ha ha ha.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

@raciniwa - I like your adventurous spirit. I think some of us seek the known, the familiar and in doing so, limit our lives. Maybe throwing caution to the wind and letting life happen is a way to appreciate every morsel it has to offer. Thank-you for your comments!


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Letting go can be an immense challenge. For me, it takes a lot to finally want to say, “good bye” to someone or some place. But once I do, I never look back.

On rare occasions, I may think, “what if,” but they never last for long. I have to agree with Susan…”that was then, this is now…” There are reasons why we say goodbye.

Who was is that said, “Memories are by their nature sweet?”

Neverthless, I have close friends, whom I cherish, that I have known for many years.

I loved this thoughtful hub, but I have always been one of your steadfast fans. :-)


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 4 years ago from Pasadena, CA

There are times when I've held on to the past rather than face the future and take charge. I've felt cheated at times that our kids have taken up so much time and energy from me and my wife. But I also look at the progress they're making. What a great quote you have in the middle of the page.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Hi,

What a brilliant hub and so very thought provoking. I have tended to go through my life moving forward ;maybe stopping in the same place for a while but never going back.

The only haven I always return to is Mother Nature's paradise.

Here all is always the same,the animals' love is unconditional and there are no mind games that so many people resort to.

Thank you so much again for sharing this one and I have to award it that 'Up up and away.'

Take care and enjoy your weekend.

Eddy.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

@Genna - it is always so good to have you stop by! I have mixed feeling over this question, myself. There is a lady that I was best friends with back when we were in our very early teens and up into our twenties. For a couple of years either I spent the night at her house or she, at mine. We lost touch and our lives grew in different directions but she was so much a part of my childhood I guess I always thought we'd be friends. I've contacted her a couple of times and she is polite enough, but it's as if I represent the person she was back then as opposed to the one she is now and she doesn't want any of her current friends to know of, or remember her from that time. It's sad, but I've learned to deal with it.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Hello Don and thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I'm finding it interesting to see what folks have to say about this. You are right about taking charge and facing the future. Time lost can never be regained but sometimes the sweetness of those memories can add flavor to our present.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Dear Eiddwen - I agree completely that the beauty and even the fierce forces of nature can bring a sense of returning "home" and absolutely the unconditional love from animals is a comfort I rely heavily upon. Though my smallest cat did reach out and claw me today when I was preparing dinner and would not give her any of the raw chicken, at least one can connect the action with a need. With people, they do sometimes hurt others simply because they can.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

I too, often dream of old friends and past boyfriend's. In the dream, it's usually better than it really was in real life. I think it's great to keep memories alive of those that we've traveled this road with but some things are just meant to be memories and it would be too hard to match the idealism we remember if we were to try again. As I say this I realize there have been old flames that get back together after many years but that hasn't been the case with me. Your writing is eloquent and moving as ever Pooh :-)


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

It's been too long since we've visited. It is good to have you stop by. I was very moved by your newest hub, the letter to your brother. Addiction of any sort can demand such a high cost on the person addicted and all involved. Moderation in everything is such a wise old adage and we would all do well to apply it in our lives. I spend entirely too much time on the computer, to the neglect of getting out into the fresh air and enjoying a simple day of beauty in nature. I hope I'll find it more inviting when it's not below zero ... God bless you, friend.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

This was very well written. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You piece reminds me of a hub I wrote in November - it was actually my first poem - Bittersweet Visitation. It too spoke of reliving a love through nighttime visitations.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

I found it and was astounded by the content. You have a real gift for poetry! That is a highly skilled piece of work and I loved reading it!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

Thank you Poohgranma. That one wanted out and would not let me sleep until I released it. I have not before or since had that experience.


ExoticHippieQueen 4 years ago

Given the option of returning to exhusbands: 1 dead, 1 remarried, 1 MIA. And close friends, of 3 I lost, only 1 would interest me in rekindling. It's much better to go forward without looking too hard over your shoulder. Enjoyed your hub.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Thanks for reading and commenting EHQ. The consensus seems to be getting on with things. It surprises me that there are not more people who would at least try to renew old friendships. People change though, and times. Maybe we just get one shot at this and then it's gone. Sad, really.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

I so enjoyed reading this. I say live in the moment and look forward to the future. The past can never be repeated. Renewing old friendships is never as good as the first time around so I have discovered. People change. Great hub, voting up and pressing your buttons too.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

acaetnna - Thanks so much for stopping by and for giving your vote on this subject. I think I am a hopeless romantic and believe that once paths have crossed with special people, life can seem incomplete without them, but it is so true that people change, lives go in different directions and there is sometimes just no time or room for old friends.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! I see a lot of awakening and healing in this hub. I see a picture of my past self. Every comment I wrote to your character(s) was really written to myself. Healing is bliss!

Awesome!


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

How about this:

A friend dreams of a long-ago lover and finally sees him again when they are middle aged. She always felt that if he was available if she ever saw him, she would make it her plan to woo him again. When that day finally arrived, she saw that he was wasted, unkempt, and almost unrecognizable. She learned from a close friend that he had been a crack addict for over twenty years after a woman he loved dearly and married left him for his best friend. Do you think that my friend prepared to rekindle an old flame? It was very clear that the flame had gone out, the ashes were cold, and time had removed them from the fireplace. It lay empty, black, and cold. It is very interesting how soon we can fall out of long-ago love when reality sets in. Some memories are intended to be just memories.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Levertis - You have painted a most heartbreaking scene. It would be most sad to find an old friend or lover's life had come to such a state. I don't know that I'd turn away from them as a caring, but very careful person in their life, might just be a catalyst for change, but certainly one would have to keep their guard up so as not to become an enabler of the addiction. You've presented a new aspect to the question and I enjoy your input.


AudraLeigh 4 years ago

You have asked so many wuestions here! It got me to think about a lot of things in my life this morning. I have gone through phases of reconnecting with old friends...it was exciting at first to reminisce. However, I am in a different place. A lot of things are the same, but certain challenges keep me from wanting to be friends with these people.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

I understand completely. With my depression and anxiety I have changed so much and have also gained a lot of weight. I long to be in touch with some from my past but if they drove up in front of my house I would probably panic and run. That doesn't say much for the friend if I can't be comfortable with them no matter my health or appearance. And you are correct, after the initial reminiscing, what actually do you have in common? There are a couple of people I feel I could reconnect with - long distance and still have a friendship but a chosen few! Thanks for reading again and thanks for you thoughts!

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