Nightly Nightmares Pt. 3 - Malevolence Manifested

Raining shadows
Raining shadows
What lies beyond
What lies beyond

part 3 of Nightly Nightmares.


link to part 1


link to part 2 - Daily Dreams




Malevolence Manifested...


Through the mist,

from abyss,

lifeless illusions and,

deathly facades

appearing before you.


Respond to your presence,


your soul’s pulsing essence.

Numbers growing through fear

its becoming quite clear

they’re increasingly near,

steadily approaching and

blocking escape.


Hideous shapes and

twisted contortions,

overflowing and pouring

out from the ocean

of unspeakable forces.


Following courses,

bound to curses.

Your growing terror is

leading them here and

giving them power with

each passing hour.


Avert your eyes, for


your gaze, they despise.

Crave your demise,

desire your trembling,

feed off your quivering,

shaking, and

shivering.


This nightmare awakens,


shifting horizons,

stealing your sight and

crippling senses.

Erasing defenses,

closing in now with ease.

To where can you flee?

Do you long for escape?

to get out?

to awake?


Granting mercy,


I end this illusion,

relieve your confusion,

cut short our intrusion

into my mind.

Leaving behind

the despair and

the terror.

Abandon them there in

a world that I face

every day,

every night,

every dawn with

dying light.


But you shall be spared

from dreams in the days,

and nightmares at night.

Malevolence manifested,

our voyage has ended.


Wait just a moment,


a problem has arisen!

The door has been shut and

our escape has been hidden!



Trapped Within Torment….



© copyright Ben D.A 2011

Closing in on fear
Closing in on fear

Comments 28 comments

BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

All if forgiven, Nellie :]

I can understand your point of view for sure. I am very proud of the flow and intensity of this, and I will say, despite much of it being based on past reality, it is not where my heart is at this time.

Thank you for all your comments, it was very nice to see you reading so many of them :]


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

I've read all three parts of the piece without commenting along the way, in order to proceed with the flow, which moves like a stream of liquid mercury, not as gushing water.

I'm feeling inwardly prohibited from a bunch of analyzing of this for some reason. I'm not too much into dissecting poetry, for one thing, especially a work with this intensity of feeling. That you seem to be separating feeling from the writing, which I can't do so easily rather bothers me. I care more about where YOU are at this moment than where the writing is.

No question that it flows, though, Ben. But it flows ss a whole, not to be pulled into sections and put under a microscope. To me, that is scarier than the nightmare itself. Forgive me.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

I knew you meant words... I hope you can forgive me in the next month because I will be making a presentation on typos as tomorrow I will have surgery on my broken finger. They have to rebreak and reset it as ghastly as that sounds. Then I'll have a cast on so it will be one finger with the left hand for a spell... we'll see how that goes...

You are the storyteller so you can leave us with our imagination for the future of your demons or you can regale us with the next visit....


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

I meant words, not woods. haha

Yeah I'm not sure on adding to it or not, cause I already made it 3 parts, and kind of wanted to leave it as a cliffhanger.

But maybe I'll pick up on it again :] thanks for the read and opinions. I enjoy your ideas on things


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

That's cool and I hope you don't think I was criticizing you because I'm not. I think maybe I was speaking more for myself because I find myself struggling and then abandoning angles I take because the rhymes take over instead of the vision.... This is a great piece of work and I hope you add to it because as it grows so will its stature....


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

I feel like the rhyming was far less prominent in this than 90% of my poetry. Though rhyming was integrated into the whole thing, I felt like it flowed more through woods than rhymes.

Thanks very much for that, mark


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

I felt the imagery... your choice of language and font instantly opened the story as we walked through the mirror to the other side and into your nightmare.

It's interesting what Saddlerider said about no longer having nightmares. I don't have any either. I just have practical worries it seems.

This thing flowed well and is not something that I could do. I'm too impatient so I admire your ability to return and continue onward with something and enhance the experience.

I will say one thing as a word of advice: make sure not to allow rhyme to be your primary focus because a sublime thought can become quite pedestrian in the written word if it becomes forced... I have to remind myself of this constantly....


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

nighthag - thats AWESOME :] thanks a bunch! yeah it is quite chilling, and sucks me in every time I read it.

glad you LOVED IT :D


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

so very good, your imagery is sublime with this, creating an instantly enthralling read that gives delicious chills down the spine. LOVED IT!!


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

Wicked good!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

ghastly!


tnderhrt23 5 years ago

Gripping, intense, vivid piece of work, here. Great job with this!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Saddle - I actually wasn't being hard on myself THIS TIME, haha. I just really wanted the opinion of a reader besides myself. Because the writer can read something differently in his own mind. I am VERY glad it flowed and was well-structured. If that's the case, I feel this is some of my best work. :]

Elizabeth - THANKS! :D I was really hoping for it to flow smoothly, and without stopping. kind of like a really realllly long sentence. thanks again


Elizabeth99 profile image

Elizabeth99 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

Ben, another amazing poem!! And yes they all flowed beautifully! It read smoothly for me and I really really liked it! I love the idea! :)


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

In my humble opinion all three chapters flowed beautifully you kept me the reader interested with your sentence structure combined with your rhyme perfectly. A poet is always to hard on him/herself, we crave recognition and acknowledgment from our fellow writers.

My writing comes to me in stages. First being an experience, second imagery/imagining seeing through my minds inner eye as if I was actually right there while it's happening, no matter how long ago it may have been. Thirdly letting my soul move my quill to paper without worrying about rhyme or sentence structure.

It always seems to fall in place without much tweeking, by the many great comments I have received on so many of my hubs, it must be working, so I never question my writing or sentence structure. Hope this helps..


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

My question is, did this flow smoothly from part 1-2-3, and did my style of syllables and rhyming make sense to you?

when I read this, I am amazed how perfectly and smoothly it flows in one continuous stream. I am not sure though, if others read it the same way.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Ah trapped within torment sums it all up, you are a captive to your nightmare, they are coming to get you. I recommend you stay up all night, keep those ghosts at bay. he he

On a serious note Ben as I said in my comment in Chapter2 young minds open the doors to receiving nightmares more often. I had plenty of them when I was your age and much younger.

Take them as write about them to share here, these help mix with your life experiences and your soul, therefore giving your Quill a reason to scribe. Keep writing and rated UP...bravo. well done.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Poet, coming from you that is wonderful to hear!! thank you very much, you were my go-to gal for this :D


poetvix profile image

poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

I agree with SeenButNotHeard that the movement is reminiscent of Poe. This is masterfully done and I love the twist the ending gives it. The series as a whole gets five stars from me.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

I could say the same for you, but alas. ;]

Thanks


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

So sweet of you to let us out... but alas. Nicely done.


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

Apparently they don't support broken ones either, which is a good thing I guess lol


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

hahaha thats ok, I guess hubpages doesn't support hearts


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

I tried putting the Less-Than sign with a 3 to make a heart but it wouldn't let me :(


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

I think I'll take that as a compliment? :P

Oh, ok, I guess you updated your comment lol

Thank you!


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

The style and the beat remind me of Poe, which makes it awesome in my book :)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

thanks mentalist, i really am happy with this, and i left it open to more parts.

not sure where it will go from here. thank you for your reading and comments


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Down the rabbit hole we fall,an enlightenly dark veiw Ben.;)

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