No Fairytale

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/4265335235/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/4265335235/




The knight leaves the fortress to seek his fortune


Behind him the drawbridge goes up


No one disparages the city behind the bridge


No one questions the knight his quest


Once dependent upon the other, now not


The Knight will travel his way


The city will have its feast day


And none shall judge



Comments 19 comments

bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

Short and sweet Randy.

I love the notion of the Knight alone on his quest, and yet, "The city will have its feast day...And none shall judge."

You've set us, added adventure, tension, drama, optimism, hope, and ambivalence, all with an 8 line poem - wow!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Metaphoric me, glad you liked it.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, I can also see a greater picture within those 8 lines, I want to read some more! lol


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Nell, there is always more for those who look for it.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...well you're not the 'fairytale' type of writer - lol - so I was glad of the open ending and as BBNIX suggested - a poetic ambivalence. Intriguing concept here - and often 'less is more' when it comes to the equation of imagination between the reader and the writer!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

No, I suppose I'm not. Just my metaphor of choice this time. Thanks for coming by.


Emmanuel Ibok 5 years ago

The feeling of setting out to accomplish personally set out goals. I hope the knight succeeds in his quest. I wonder whether positive or negative.

Btw, your comment of JinglePoetry was tempting for a read and that brought me here. Nice!

Bless!


Jessica 5 years ago

It works well, a clear image of the knight leaving, both the city and on his quest. By keeping it short it makes us think what else is going on. Less is more!

http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/dark...


Ava 5 years ago

Well-written. A clear message. My potluck: http://verseinanutshell.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/p...


misz μεταμόρφωσις 5 years ago

i simply like this!


Matt Coughlan 5 years ago

Methinks my lady there is something that lurks beneath the still waters of this poem. A piece like this is more of a question than an answer, which I dig. Deviously distinct! (in a good way) :D


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Greetings Emmanuel Ibok. Success does not always bring happiness and loss does not always bring pain.

Hi Jessica. Better to be left wondering that not effected.

Ava thanks for coming by and commenting.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

I'm so glad Misz.

And you would be very right Matt. :)


Henry Clemmons 5 years ago

Metaphor rocks in a plain simple format kind of way. I've felt like the knight before. ANd I didn't mean plain and simple as insulting. It was straightforward, a huge CLUE to let us look beyond the words. You gave us room to expand our view. A great piece. Luv it.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

And I a fortress. Thanks for the great comment Henry.


Clariice 5 years ago

Behold the knight on his personal quest! Almost like how one leaves her/his country to strike out on their own :) I like the notion..Thanks for the metaphoric analogy!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Greetings Clariice. That's a nice interpretation!


Jess 5 years ago

It certainly leaves open something more to come, or for us to imagine :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Poetry all buttoned up is not fun Jess.

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