Notes From A Complete Stranger, Part 9

We have fudge and lots of other good stuff to eat here.
We have fudge and lots of other good stuff to eat here.

David Foster Wallace, suicide, Gordon Lish, NYC, poetry, Perchville, Barack Obama, Louisville architecture, 2009 ice storm, Joaquin Phoenix, fish, The Wrestler

Saturday 21 February 2009
4:05 AM
The headlines of ICN on February 11 read "Large crowds, great weather warms 59th Perchville". There was a picture of a big girl in a bathing suit splashing in the 32 degree water, and below the picture the caption reported it was none other than our Perchville Queen, Helen Pasakarnis. Of all the previous Kings and Queens, Helen was the first ever to take the Polar plunge. A record 255 swimmers participated in the Saturday Polar Bear Swim with another 46 following on Sunday. A new record. Helen must be crazy to get almost naked for the camera. In that light, jumping into a hole in the ice makes perfect sense.

The "Chilly Cook-Off" was won by the Brew Krew. The patriarch of a strolling family of chili lovers from Grand Blanc was quoted as saying, "I like coming here for the culture" . There is a picture of Merrit Finnell of Barnacle Bill's Bar serving chili to another large sampler. She was quoted as saying, "This event brings the community together" .

The largest perch taken in the fishing contest was a ten-inch monster caught by a fellow from Turner. For the first place prize he got a free taxidermy mount for his catch. There were plenty of larger fish pictured in their respective categories such as brown trout, pike, and walleye. Amazing what comes out, and in, of that body of water.

Tawas Area Chamber of Commerce Manager, Laura Loeffler, reported selling 4,000 of the 5,000 buttons created for Perchville. She said, according to the Iosco County News, that she was pleased with the turnout and added that this year's Thursday night's "Perchville Bash" was a sold-out event.

Tawas Fishing

The news for Perchville 2009 was somewhat a disappointment for me. I wanted something fascinating to have happened. I even waited until the following week's ICN paper arrived to see if there was a follow-up to the Perchville event, but not one word was written about the festival. No drownings, no fights, nothing. But the February 11 Perchville issue of the ICN did not disappoint on other fronts. There was a picture and announcement of a young couple getting married this coming August 15. The groom, it was reported, is employed by Burger King. Section B had a headline stating "Iosco to buy Tasers for jail and courtrooms". And in that same Section B the 23rd Circuit Court reported "Marcos Roberto Greenidge, 17, East Tawas, pleaded not guilty to 1st degree home invasion. He remains jailed in lieu of a $5,000 bond pending further proceedings. If convicted, he could be sentenced to 20 years in prison. According to the Tawas Police Authority, an East Tawas resident woke up the morning of December 14 and discovered her home had been broken into during the night, and her television set stolen. Police followed a set of footprints through the snow to a nearby residence and allege that Greenidge turned over the television."

The rest of the paper was typical of what I have come to expect. The fishing report is always good. On the Record by the editor Jim Dunn always sucks and this issue was no exception as his headline read "Warning: please quit feeding bean burritos to chickens". You could say I make fun of Tawas, and I do, but I have earned the right to. I can also hear my dad, a life-long resident, saying to me, "If you don't like it, leave". I did. He would also suggest I quit getting the ICN delivered to me down here in Kentucky if all I am going to do is make fun of it. Somebody stop me!

To be continued...

Tawas Fishing


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