Parody of Water For Elephants

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Remembering Rising Stars

HubPages once promoted programs called HubNuggets and Rising Stars to introduce our writing community at large to new members who had submitted interesting and entertaining Hubs.

A committee of current HubPages members helped to select articles (Hubs) for highlighting and recognition each week and they accomplished this by offering their own creative writing efforts in parodies and fun stories about HubPages and its great member writers and staff people.

Here is a story that a lot of people liked and one which might entertain you, especially if you enjoy the book and film Water for Elephants and still enjoy the acting of Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, and a lineup of animal stars.

If you read a new Hub that you enjoy, please share it with your friends.

Celebration of Life

This Hub is dedicated to the memory and 80-year career of author Lilian Jackson Braun Bettinger (June 20, 1913 – June 4, 2011).

As she is known in the mystery novel genre, LJB began an 80-year writing career as a teenager in Michigan for the Detroit News, contributing her ongoing sports poems (spoems ). She went on to write advertising for a department store, and became the Good Living Editor (Art and Design, etc.) of the Detroit Free Press. She wrote 29 humorous mystery novels starring cats, along with two collections of stories, and several short stories scattered in anthologies; she traveled, and she researched well enough to create radio broadcast performances of famous catastrophes in her books and to include Anne of Culloden and other Scots history. Multiple millions of her books have been purchased, translated into nearly two dozen languages. Lilian never used a computer or a typewriter, but wrote all her work longhand, on legal pads.

Since our HubNuggets Wannabes topics this week are Art and Design; Books and Writing; and Travel, I give you this round up Hub in memory of a most successful and beloved long-term writer, Lilian Jackson Braun.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Tent...

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The Golden Sextant

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Having graduated from Wentwhistle's Mostly Scientific College of Veterinary and Circus Events, the orphan Ping bid adieu to Chancellor Jason and Dean Maddie Ruud. At the graduation from a most useful and fascinating course of study, these kind and noble individuals had given Ping a parchment diploma, a Silver Stethoscope, and a Golden Sextant for finding clients and HubNugget Wannabes. Ping was prepared for an interesting career in writer-seeking and large animal medicine.

Ripplemaker LionTamer with a new recruit.
Ripplemaker LionTamer with a new recruit. | Source
Rested makeover Ping.
Rested makeover Ping.

Graduation and Change

Returning home after the Wentwhistle's graduation ceremony and finding her boarding house lying on the ground in bits after a freak windstorm while everyone was at the graduation, Ping gathered up some belongings in a duffle and headed toward the train station.

It was dusk and no trains to anywhere were scheduled for ticketing until the morning, so Ping hopped a freight car, where she was met by a friendly welcoming committee of professionals.

Ripplemaker LionTamer and Simone D'Penzance Pirates pulled Ping aboard and offered her a cool drink.

It was so kind of them to sedate it for a good night's sleep as well.

However, she was not expecting such an attractive - and free - makeover during the night.

Gal Noir

Gal Noir, filled to the brim with energy and ready to find the hidden Hubnugget Wannabes.
Gal Noir, filled to the brim with energy and ready to find the hidden Hubnugget Wannabes. | Source

A Master of Disguise...

Gal Noir mingled with the concessionaires, outselling Dr. Pepper 3 to 1 in her red frock.
Gal Noir mingled with the concessionaires, outselling Dr. Pepper 3 to 1 in her red frock. | Source

Routines

Ping fell right in with the circus routine and even developed a few short acts of her own for the Ringmaster Lady Jane to add as filler during dead airtime (that's when the trapeze artists take a break). One presentation was a magic act in which a deck of cards turns into a flock of bats after Ping guesses the correct card chosen by a child from the audience.The child takes home a cute stuffed bat.

Ping also went about caring for the animals, checking ears and removing those pesky trainers' legs from between the lions' teeth, for instance.

The Golden Sextant, however, did not seem to work in spotting HubNuggets Wannabes in the matinee crowds! The Ringmaster called in crack detective Gal Noir, Private Eye from Minnesota and a city that knows how to keep its secrets. Fresh from the 12th floor of the Acme Building, Noir was ready for the case.

Surely, this would be the ticket.

Friday night's show in Dublin, Texas turned up no Wannabes in the crowd, though we knew they were in there. The sextant was malfunctioning - or perhaps jammed by gamma rays aimed at it by literature-haters like Ming of Mongo (he'd been sacked from the sideshow recently).

Simone the Pirate Mol had sailed her tiny wheeled pirate ship overfilled with pirate clowns out to Center Ring among cardboard waves held up by the dancing girls of the circus.The group performed a nifty keel haul as a finale, just as the performer dressed as Moby Dick grabbed the keel-hauled victim and ran away with him through the crowd and out of the tent, to the hoots of the audience. Ping had wandered among the waves and used the sextant to no avail.

Rosie and the Vampire

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*Robert Pattinson is famous for his vampire role in the Twilight saga.

Texas Circus Has Dr. Pepper

Saturday would be a humdinger of a chance for HubNuggets Wannabes to be found! There were to be three shows and Gal Noir would dedicate herself to finding 6 Wannabes at each one of them:

10 o'clock, 2 o'clock, and 4 o'clock - sponsored by Dublin Texas Dr. Pepper, the only Dr. Pepper to still use real sugar.

The company provided our star elephant Rosie, and her trainer The Vampire Pattinson, with cases of the bottled refreshment that they enjoyed.

RedElf the Nimble and Ennelle "Le Curlicue" Lamb prepared extra acrobatics presentations to keep the audience busy while Noir searched out the Wannabes that were hiding from the sextant.

Fly, RedElf, Fly!

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10 o'clock

Ripplemaker LionTamer arranged for a special cage and inside, she performed with her jaguars while RedElf and Le Curlicue trapezed and performed other acrobatics in the air and on the floor around the big cats. This gave Ringmaster Lady Jane time to help Noir find those first 6 Wannabes.

Suddenly, one of the big cats began to chuckle.

What's so funny? asked RedElf. Are you laughing at my act?

The jaguar laughed out loud and pointed to the audience.

Le Curlicue called, Hey! Gal Noir and the Ringmaster found 6 Wannabes disguised as concessionaires. One is juggling bottles of Dr. Pepper. That could be dangerous - they might explode.

Pattinson swooped down and gathered up the Dr. Peppers from the amateur juggler and took them to Rosie, who promptly drank them and belched - in Polish. Meanwhile, Gal Noir took the Wannbes to the airport and flew them to San Francisco with their Hubs while the circus band played. You can read their Hubs now >>>

The Graceful Enelle Le Curlicue

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Which one of this week's Arts and Design nominees is your favorite?

  • 23% How to Design a Creative Children's Room at Low Costs: Fun Decorating and Paint Ideas
  • 32% How To Keep Doing What You Love
  • 13% How to make a License Plate Scrapbook
  • 14% Kick-Ass Women Impressionists
  • 16% Make Your Own Film - With Windows Movie Maker (WMM)
  • 2% Random Sketches: a poem about rejection
56 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

  • Random Sketches: a poem about rejection -- This hub was originally a word short, image dominated hub written as Random Sketches. It was promptly unpublished by the moderators at HubPages. My rewrite changes the subject of this hub to my reaction to...
  • How To Keep Doing What You Love -- Man, oh man, oh man....have I been tackling and dancing with this one over the years. For those in the arts, whether a painter, writer, actor, filmmaker, singer, musician...whatever it may be, does it not...



Ripplemaker's Horses

Ping's acrobatic act - Different, but the sextant still was not working.
Ping's acrobatic act - Different, but the sextant still was not working. | Source

2 o'clock

Every show is a little different in order to offer variety to returning audiences.

In the afternoon show, Ripplemaker LionTamer offered her act of Lippizaner Stallions and miniature ponies. At one point, a pony rode on the back of each stallion around the Center Ring.

For a finale, RippleMaker planned to ride the lead stallion, while standing on her head on horseback, while reading a book of poetry aloud into her microphone. After that, Native Americans of the crewe would ride in on the remaining stallions, standing on horseback and riding backwards, while shooting arrows at a target in the middle of Center Ring. Trapeze artists would perform above and around the Center Ring act.

The finale was not as planned, however.

Not an arrow was seen anywhere. The American Indians came in on horseback on their heads as well, reading from their own Hubs into microphones for all to hear - The next 6 HubNugget Wannabes! You can read them below, in case you missed one in the excitement!

Which one of this week's Books, Literature, and Writing nominees is your favorite?

  • 40% Boynton for Bedtime: Favorite Bedtime Reading for the Under-5 Set
  • 24% Getting Paid To Write For Textbroker: A Review On Why It Isn't For Me
  • 16% How to write a brick
  • 5% How to write a great sestina
  • 7% Left Behind: What do these novels say about American culture?
  • 7% The Elephant in my Mirror
55 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

  • The Elephant in my Mirror -- Looking into the rear view mirror in her car she catches a familiar sight, the dreaded sight of the elephant in her back seat. She adjusts her mirror so she can see better..maybe it is just a trick of the...
  • How to write a great sestina -- Great tips for writing a sestina. Highly recommended and even shows an example.

Simone's Pirates Clowning Around

4 o'clock

Only 6 more HubNuggets Wannabes to find and Gal Noir was on the case during the evening show.

It would be a longer show, combining all the special acts of the first two, with an additional finale by Ringmaster Lady Jane. All the acts dressed in the costumes of International countries and made a quite fine show. Simone and the Pirates received a standing ovation. Ripplemaker LionTamer and her jaguars dressed as Cossacks.

RedElf and Le Curlicue attired themselves as harem beauties of Araby, while the dancing girls and other acrobats dressed in avante guarde French costumery.

Ringmaster Lady Jane performed her famous Dance in Shades of Blue in a grand finale, as all the aerial acts performed high within the tent around the three rings. All the while, Gal Noir kept an eye out for the final 6 Wannabes.

Lady Jane's Dance

Ringmaster Lady Jane in formal wear performs her Dance In Shades of Blue.
Ringmaster Lady Jane in formal wear performs her Dance In Shades of Blue. | Source

Synchronized YoYo In Center Ring - Carnival of the Animals

Rescue by Rosie

Suddenly, Rosie the Elephant appeared, Golden Sextant entwined in her trunk as a distraction and pulling a cart of Dr. Pepper toward one sector of the crowd.

Quickly, the spectators emptied their pockets, looking for change with which to buy a cool sparkling drink.

Slips of paper began to appear from pockets as well and Pattinson swooped down among the crowd. He saw that several papers were actually HubNuggets Wannabe Hubs. Gal Noir rushed forth and gathered these final 6 people together and ushered them into Center Ring.

Ringmaster Lady Jane is just finishing her act, so you can read the final 6 Wannabe Hubs now >>>

Ping Finally Has a Good Act

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Which one of this week's Travel and Places nominees is your favorite?

  • 49% Downtown Las Vegas. The Past, Present and Future of Fremont Street.
  • 5% Hidden Opportunities in Music Tourism?
  • 4% Hunter Valley Holidays - Morpeth
  • 9% Jekyll Island: An Island Getaway
  • 5% Top 20 Disney World Must-Do's for Couples
  • 27% Travel the Best American Canyonlands: Bryce, Zion, and Grand Canyon (North Rim)
77 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Thanks for voting!

Dr. Pepper with real sugar.
Dr. Pepper with real sugar. | Source
  • Hidden Opportunities in Music Tourism? Unpublished temporarily (http://hubpages.com/hub/hidden-opportunities-in-music-tourism-travel-and-festivals)
    There are many recognised niche travel markets, and any destination that recognises its unique value is in a good position to develop that market. Music is no exception - but many opportunities are being...

  • Top 20 Disney World Must-Do's for Couples

    Well congratulations! I am so happy for you and hope you have a magical vacation. Every year when my husband and I go to Disney we have such a great time, I thought I would offer a little advice for those of...


Sunday at the Circus with Georges

The Circus, by Georges Seurat in 1891.
The Circus, by Georges Seurat in 1891. | Source

Aftermath

Gal Noir decided to stay on with the circus --Every circus needs a good detective!

We're on our way to the territory of Ohio, where the feudal government is removing all the highways, but we do not need them. We've converted the circus train to covered wagons and will easily be able to play to all the towns and cities, especially around the Big River.

We'll hire some Native Americans when we get there, so share that with your friends. And stop by for a show if you are in the state - Rosie will have plenty of Dr. Pepper for you!

Water for Elephants

If you have a chance to see the film Water for Elephants, starring Robert Pattinson as a young veterinarian and Reese Witherspoon as a horse trainer married to a mad Ringmaster, I hope you enjoy it. Hal Holbrook plays in a charming role as the veterinarian late in life, waiting for his son one night to meet and attend the circus with him.

The stars are really the animals - particularly a toothless lion and Tai, who plays Rosie the Polish-speaking lemonade-loving Elephant.

© 2011 Patty Inglish

More by this Author


Comments 38 comments

RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

Oh my, this is the best one ever - such a clever and talented Ping! Every act was so creatively chosen, and well-rehearsed, too! Thanks for a lovely, funny tribute to a masterly writer and a great book.

p.s. Hope my new catcher works out better than that last butter-fingers! I haz to FLYYYYY :D


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thanks from Ping! - Now please help me down from these red streamers in which I am firmly stuck...just catch onto one as you fly by :)


Mrs. Menagerie profile image

Mrs. Menagerie 5 years ago from The Zoo

I loved the book "Water for Elephants" and I loved your hub too! Great job Patty! Will read and vote...


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thank you, Mrs. Menagerie. Can I interest you in a trapeze artist position??


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 5 years ago from The Other Bangor

Awesome hub! Dang, I'm going back to read it again. . .


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thanks a pirate's ship load, Teresa!


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 5 years ago from California Gold Country

I'm going to re-read, too. (There's a lot in this.) How come there is no 'genius' button?


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

genius? In THAT makeover getup??? Rosie is the genius :)... as was Lilian. Thanks Rochelle!


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 5 years ago from USA or America

Hey Patty, as usual, you write another great hub for the HubNugget nominees. Great read! :) I've voted and shared. :) Thank you. Good luck Nominees! :)


rajaramravi profile image

rajaramravi 5 years ago

Oh lovely nuggets hub


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

I agree with Teresa McGurk - awesome hub. Terrific tribute to a wonderful writer. I laughed all the way through. How did you know my secret wish was to join a circus?


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thanks for all the comments, and especially for reading and VOTING!

@KKG -You're now a detective with the circus - what fun!

Congratulations to all this weeks' nominees!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thanks for all the votes so far - we appreciate it!


northweststarr profile image

northweststarr 5 years ago from Washington State

A real pleasure... be following you...


RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

Had to come back for another read - and to help untangle Ping. Great hub! Love circus (always wanted to be an acrobat but afraid of heights) Love "Water for Elephants" Love hub! Congrats to all the nominees!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Ahhhh, many thanks Nimble RedElf! - One arm and one leg were asleep!

@northweststarr - Thanks for reading and voting!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Oh, this is cuter than cute. I must reread the Hub and then all the nominees. Just so much fun here!


VirginiaLynne profile image

VirginiaLynne 5 years ago from United States

Great hub once again. Thanks for the hubnugget nomination which is especially fun since I live in Waco where Dr. Pepper was created. The Dr. Pepper museum here has all of the wonderful advertising you quote. They are wild about the drink here and we have to stock it for gatherings. Baylor University, where we work, doesn't serve any non-Dr. Pepper products!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Just finished voting on the last category. I loved reading about topibs I had known nothing or little about before.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 5 years ago from Texas

Great job as usual Patty...great tribute as well. I was happy to finally show off my dance as I have been practicing forever. Cheers.


JSParker profile image

JSParker 5 years ago from Detroit, Michigan

Awesome creativity here! And we here in Michigan so appreciate the tribute to our home grown writer, LJB. Laughed our heads silly over the video "Synchronized Yo Yo" pelican a la Fantasia.

References to "The Golden Compass", Guy Noir, etc., were appreciated.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thank you all for the new comments!

I'd been wondering for a while how best to do a tribute to Ms. Braun and thought that this Hub might have made her smile. I hope her life is an encouragement to the readers and writers on HubPages - 80 years writing is a long time of dedication.

Dr. Pepper certainly is a big hit in Texas! The times on the old bottles fit right in with Circus performances, to my luck.

Ladyjane1 - Your performance is lovely and show-stopping. What type of act will you have Gal Noir develop? We await a new show and I've installed automatic releases on my streamers!

JSParker - You "got" my puns! :)


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 5 years ago

Dearest Patty,

I am still laughing so hard I have happy tears rolling down my cheeks! You remind me that sometimes I just take life too darn seriously!

I would love to follow in your air-steps, flying through the breeze wrapped in my long blue (of course) silk trapeze scarves, landing gently in perfect adagio en pointe on the back of my pet, fully-house-trained elephant, Sir Walter Raleigh!

You are just the BEST! Blessings always, Earth Angel!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Ahhh - another likely candidate to join our circus show!! I'm smiling :)


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 5 years ago

If I scoop the poop, bring you all fresh java or Dr. Pepper (your choice), keep your costumes flawless, marry my First Nation boyfriend, keep Ripplemaker's pond clean, never touch the sextant and pay everyone's bills, will you please let me tag along! Pretty please! ;-)


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Oh yes, indeed - Pattinson and Rosie are building you a new wagon right now. Welcome aboard!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I enjoyed being a lion tamer! heheheehhe And the hubs are a delight to read. I learned so much!!

Great hubnuggets hub Patty!


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

Thanks Patty for the nomination. I am hoping I inspire some readers to write some bricks, even if I don't get to see them.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Patty, I don't know you did that. Great imagination. Brilliant.


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 5 years ago from Asheville, NC

Too funny - loved it. Great Nuggets too.


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

I had always wanted to bring my pirate act to the circus. Great Hub, Patty! And congrats to all of the nominees!

You're totally welcome for the makeover, BTW. ;)


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

That great perm should last at least 9 months!


CJ Andrews profile image

CJ Andrews 5 years ago from Norwalk, Ohio

Great hub, I like the dedication.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

Thanks - I don't think I can write for 80 years as did Lilian!


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 5 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Who knew I was so graceful LOL great hub! Read and voted :D


RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

Congrats to all the winners - and so much fun to be a kitty in a Braun tribute.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America Author

And so talented are HN cats!

Congratulations to the HubNuggets winners and all our writers this week.


Mrs. Menagerie profile image

Mrs. Menagerie 5 years ago from The Zoo

Congrats winners!

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