Obama as Othello, a Shakespeare Parody: Act 5 Scene 4 - The Budget Control Act 2011

Welcome to our political play, have you been surfing the channels? Unfortunately there is no DVD box set available. But if you click on the link below you will be taken to the first scene in our story.

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Obama as Othello, a Shakespeare Parody: Act 5 Scene 4 - The Budget Control Act 2011

It is now August 2011 and President Othell'Obama is still struggling with economy.

He is in the Oval Office with his trusted confidant Senator Harold Brabantio.

It is the eve of the implementation of the Budget Control Act.

Both men are discussing the details and the implications of the new legislation.

............................................

Obama: Chaos is come again! I thought it was bad enough trying to keep myself afloat through college but this is ridiculous.

Brabantio: I know. It's complicated.

Obama: You can sure say that again! It looks as grim as Hell. Paying the bills on that Chicago apartment was a cakewalk compared to this unholy mess.

Brabantio: Unfortunately the previous leaseholder in this here house wasn't too clever at the Math.

Obama: At least when I rent a crib I don't get saddled with the last guys debts.

Brabantio: The White House is a little different. At least you got limited liability. You won't be put out on the street after you're done here.

Obama: Talking about the building, how much does that paint cost

Brabantio: Ohh! Around 30 dollars a gallon. Expensive but it's the best around, keeps the place gleaming.

Obama: Yeah! Keeping up appearances. All curtains, no carpets!

Brabantio: But back to the economy. We need to raise the debt ceiling.

Obama: Why? Are we gonna paint that too?

Brabantio: Ha Ha! Glad to see you've still got your sense of humour.

Obama: Maybe I'll take charge and whitewash the whole thing myself.

Brabantio: Shh! Walls have ears Othello. Someone might get the wrong end of the stick on that.

Obama: Why? Have we got Republican moles on the staff?

Brabantio: No more than usual I think. But I'm more worried about a careless remark being blown out of proportion. Chinese whispers you know?

Obama: Aww! Don't keep mentioning them will ya? We're up to our eyes in hock to those guys.

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Brabantio: Anyway! Are you finally happy with the budget control legislation?

Obama: It's a compromise deal I suppose but I'm reasonably cool with it.

Brabantio: So we can definitely raise the debt ceiling to $400 billion?

Obama: Sure! We can go all the way up to $1.3 trillion if you wanna have a good time. That's if Congress approve.

Brabantio: And do you think they will?

Obama: They'll approve. Hell! Half of them couldn't even count as high as a trillion.

Brabantio: I don't think anyone can. Unless they live to a ridiculous age

Obama: Really? How old?

Brabantio: Oh! Well lets say they wouldn't see their 500 thousandth birthday again

Obama: Gee! That long?

Brabantio: Yes! Statistical researchers reckon an estimate of about 542,000 years to finish the job.

Obama: Or a trillion seconds in other words smart ass.

Brabantio: Aha! Well, you see that's where you're mistaken Othello

Obama: Oh yeah?

Brabantio: Yes! You're assuming a time lapse of one second per number but it doesn't work like that. One, two, three, four etcera? No problem. But let's put it this way. For example, how long does it take you to say one hundred and eighty-three billion, five hundred and ninety million, four hundred thousand and sixty two?

Obama: I can't even remember the start of that figure.

Brabantio: So you see? It's not a trillion seconds it's over half a million years.

Obama: I think some of those toothless dinosaurs in the Senate are at least that old.

Brabantio: I know, 'Tyrants R Us'! But for now we're talking chub change. It's $400 billion subject to future events?

Obama: Absolutely! A great plan I must admit. If you can't handle your debt then just go ahead and make the goddamn thing even higher!

Brabantio: That's right! Then we don't have to worry about bustin the overdraft cos if we are, then just raise the ceiling.

Obama: Till the roof caves in!

Brabantio: No no no! It's perfect Othello. If we're pushing at the limit then just lift the limit. So instead of being a couple of billion dollars away from trouble we can make it a couple of hundred billion. No more worries. Beautiful!!

Obama: Well Harold, the idea is to reduce the debt, not increase it.

Brabantio: Mmm! Not really.

Obama: What do you mean?

Brabantio: I mean the Act is not intended to reduce the debt as such but really to reduce the growth of debt. In that way we cut back on the amount of debt that we accumulate.

Obama: In other words, an increase. We're going to sink even further into the red.

Brabantio: Sure! But not at the same rate that we are now. We need to increase the debt to reduce it. Try to see the positive side.

Obama: Thank God I only have two terms of this.

Brabantio: Don't count your chickens Othello. We're not even on the campaign trail yet.

Obama: I ain't counting anything after what you've been telling me.

Brabantio: Sure! But let me remind you that we are making cutbacks too.

Obama: I know! I know! $917 billion over 10 years. And how are we gonna manage that?

Brabantio: For a start, forget about invading Syria or Iran. That would blow a huge hole in the budget.

Obama: What about Libya?

Brabantio: No problem! That's small fry and besides, the Brits and the French are splitting the tab on that one. No! We need to make more domestic cuts.

Obama: Any ideas?

Brabantio: The Super Committee are actually charged with that remit so we'll see what they come up with. But in the meantime I was thinking.....

Obama: What?

Brabantio: Well, I was thinking of a few idea. How about large-scale school closures.

Obama: You kiddin? I think I've found another Republican mole in here.

Brabantio: No really Othello. It might work if we compensate for the closures by introducing night-shift classrooms. We put the worst kids on the night rolls. That way they ain't out on the streets shooting each other, filling up Night Court and Juvenile Hall.

Obama: Interesting.

Brabantio: We can save money in the Defence budget too.

Obama: If you can pull that off you're a genius.

Brabantio: It's quite simple really.

Obama: Oh really?

Brabantio: Yeah!

Obama: OK! I'm listening. I have a greedy ear.

Brabantio: Privatise the military completely. Blackwater was a good start, a few personnel problems with them using Arabs as target practice, but it showed what could be done.

Obama: Radical idea.

Brabantio: We spent too much on Iraq, too much waste. That's what comes from a centralised war economy. Too much Socialist largesse is bad for the forces. Make every bullet and bomb count.

Obama: We could clear the whole deficit. Anything else?

Brabantio: Yeah! We could stop welfare for single mothers with more than eight kids. Hire more Filipino medics to cut the health budget.

Obama: OK!

Brabantio: Space! Get rid of NASA, who cares what's up there? Let's return to Isolationism.

Obama: Aha!

Brabantio: Sell Hawaii, give Alaska to the Canadians, if they don't want it maybe the Russians will take it. There's so many ways to lower the Federal burden.

Obama: Of course there is dude but maybe after the next election.

Brabantio: Erm! Well! Of course. Maybe too much to put to the nation during an election campaign.

Obama: I'm glad you understand. So hold on to those thoughts and I'll get back to you. But it's made me think Harold. Maybe it's time you took a little vacation.

Brabantio: You think so?

Obama: Yeah! You seem a little stressed these days. Perhaps a break would do you good.

Brabantio: I must admit that I have been feeling the pressure lately. I guess a little time off would do no harm. How long do you think I need?

Obama: Start counting to that big number and come back when you're finished.

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