Of the Fallen Man......

" Who else will do this if I don't" , I remember hearing myself ask ?.........and wondering , what is it that befalls a man when he gives up on so much? A young boy yet , I reached down and took the mans arm and asked ."Sir ....can I help you up ?".....

And what did the old man say.......?

"Reflective though not deceptive
I have lived on borrowed time
I have given away most everything else
yet I kept my broken mind"

And yet my heart was sacrificed
well before I knew it's meaning
And as to the pleasantries of living .......
I learned then .... I was only dreaming"

He narrowed his eye's and crooked his finger requesting my ear ......"I know what you think , you think I'm just a drunk who cannot stand .....waiting for my next handout ......and yet I can recall Shakespeare word for word .........and do you know the equation of what's left after nuclear fusion fails ......or recall the constitution word for word?" ............."No , well let me tell you something son ,......... I saw the fall of Berlin down the sight of a rifle , and the greatest heroes of our time ?...........I carried General Pattens gear !"

"You know as well as I , that life is just a game .......And God ? Who the hell is he! .....I knew more about the universe by the time I was eight ! I hate him !........ I hate him ......for all he's done to me '.....and he fell away nothing but dead weight ........the drunken man would die here tonight ..............if , but if ! No...........I picked him up by the underarm and carried him into his lair ...........his wife in tears and thanking me ..........
"Here she says .....thank you so and put him here "

But never again to ask of my self
how much more can they ask
When I gave everything they begged of me
undaunted .....I performed the grueling task

NO .......now I am a broken man
and how dare you judge my soul
Untill you've given everything
untill you've played this .....my role

" I will help you in my Father ! Let me take your arm " , and with the smell of cigarettes and booze permeating from his clothes ....once more I became my Fathers keeper . And not once looking in the eye's of my Mother ......she said " I'm so sorry I had to call you , but lift him up ?.....I could not "...........!

And I drove away hating him , hating myself ...........

Note ------Forgive me for this one , half poetry ! half writing I can only say that It's all too real , its a part of some repressed memory and it's all but true ..............

Comments 18 comments

dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

'.....NO .......now I am a broken man

and how dare you judge my soul

Untill you've given everything

untill you've played this .....my role ..'

It touched heart and it touched soul.....very creative indeed......thanks for sharing some pieces of truth....who cares what it is .....poetry/writing..but its priceless truth which creates feelings so deep. up voting and awesome..sharing tooo:-)

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

dghbrh, Thank you for that !.....:-}

xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Nothing to forgive of you here, this is great and immediate we, the readers are there too.

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

xstatic Nice to see you here ! Thanks.... I was a little worried about this one ........:-}

Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

I reach out to you as you reached out to us. That's what hubbing is all about - sharing that what comes from the heart where personal experience plays a role. Too bad you had to go through all that. You expressed it well.

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

Gypsy Rose , thank you dear , Its just life , no ?....:-}

Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 4 years ago from Australia

A glimpse of a moment in time, repeated I dare say, hundreds of times, nay more? A mere minute that reflects years, maybe decades, beautifully written, heartfully felt. Best it comes out somehow. Thank you for sharing, dear friend.

always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

This must be my morning to shed tears. I just read Lucky Cat's latest story. I feel your pain. Childhood memories can resh in when we least expect them. Beautiful writing..Cheers my friend **

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

This stuff just comes out occasionaly Annie , and its not so much that I carry it around anymore but its time to let go ! Thank you ....:-}

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

Hey Always ......, I'll check luckies hub out , yes my friend youu are right about that !

QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

It is true how often writers relive moments through their words but by the end of it, all is forgiven.

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

This is wonderful just the way it is ...I am so.glad to meet u.I can't wait. to read more.

J. Frank Dunkin profile image

J. Frank Dunkin 4 years ago from Foley, Alabama

I really LIKE the juxtaposition of prose and poetry. You're quite the weaver here, my friend. Well done, very well done.

Up and awesome...

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

Qudsia , Thank you for stopping ,I agree ..... after the words flow , forgiveness can be born !

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

Deborah , thank you so much ! .....Im catchin up !

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

JFrank Dunkin , Thank you sir, I appeciate that !

D.Juris Stetser profile image

D.Juris Stetser 4 years ago from South Dakota

Oh this is so heart-wrenching , and tactile...I know once I close the page, the poem , you....in some way will be coming with me. What magic you weave waiting in the shadows, watching us fall as your words coiling round ..capturing us completely. What a gift! Obviously Up, Beautiful, Awesome...

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

D Juris , Thank you for that , life is really great at giving some of us so much to write about ! Thank you for stopping .

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