Oh What A Night


Oh what a night,

my mind was working overtime,

over the mental sight,

it started off as passion, a thrill,

fingerprints left on the bedroom window sill,

faces in the crowd were ranging

from horror to fright,

as the shadows drifted

from the darkness to the light,

and my feelings moved from extreme somber

to coldness so tight,

it was that violent act

that caused such an impact,

the mood around me was depressing,

the implications were distressing,

my heart was cold and my eyes were red,

I shook my head,

thinking about the fear of punishment,

flashing lights filled the air,

and I just stood there,

as an odd barbaric splash

of colors held brilliance against the darkness,

it was no comforting flash,

that’s when my sanity would crash,

the police moved slowly around,

they were unnervingly vigilant,

but they made no sound,

my hands went up,

and my legs shuddered on the ground,

then the worst became worse,

the thought of that woman filled my head,

I cowardly left her for dead,

but not without a long remorseful gaze,

at the shape of her on the bed,

lacking breath,

shrouded in death,

and very still,

it wasn’t my intention to kill.

© 2011 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 16 comments

tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

A very vivid, chilling read that flows like blood!


leann2800 5 years ago

...omg... freaky


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 5 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

If I was not a big boy now I would have probably the same type of reactions like your first two readers but something tells me that you are managing to reincarnate a big part of my childhood . There is a certain type of suspense in your work that would have folks like me saying more.

Peter Cushing , Christopher, Frank Langella, Hitchcock .Good work Frank .

Blessings.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

Sky I really wouldn't go that far oh wait Hithcock.. maybe LOL thank you dear friend you are always too kind :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I felt like reading a true account.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks VG :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

This almost reads like an old detective novel but with better prose. :) Loved it, Frank!!!


jagerfoods profile image

jagerfoods 4 years ago from South Carolina, USA

Awesome writing style! It left me wanting more.


ALUR profile image

ALUR 4 years ago from USA

Love that you honor the "dark" void...I think this makes for a fab start of a short story(maybe minus the rhyme-intended or not). Glad to know there was a bit of remorse, my short fiction characters rarely have that. LOL


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

I agree with Sky...your writing remind me of the writers of old...make you think..full of suspense...another great poem!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much ttombs and you too jagerfoods Alur, and Justateacher bless you for visiting my night :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

oh i didn't forget you guys lean and tnder.. don't know why this comment didn't show up :) bless you folks


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

You are always so good. You conjure up dark writings that I love...Always so glad to see another of your entries, especially in the AM. Reading your work goes well with my coffee. Take care.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL goes well with your coffee.. hmmm thanks so much Cyndi10 always good to see you so when r u coming out with new stuff so I can happily return the favor ...Frank


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

This one gives me the shudders, Frank. Chillingly wonderful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks pegcole...:)

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