Old English/Shakespearean Insults

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An insult, according to Wikipedia is "an expression, statement (or sometimes behavior)which is considered degrading, offensive, or impolite".

I'm sure we all know what an insult is. At one time or another we've all been the victim of an insult. And, for course, I'm sure we've all delivered one. Looking around the internet Icame across many different types of insults. Some of them were funny, some of them were down right mean.

After perusing the internet I've come to the conclusion that nobody knows how to throw out insults like the Old English, Renaissance, Shakespearean man. They are truly creative and when you've heard an insult from this era you definately know you've been insulted.

Funny Insults
Funny Insults | Source

Colorful examples of Insults

Mewling, Notty-pated hedgepig

Currish, doghearted maggot-pie

Thou weedy doghearted moldwarp

Thou art an artless, crook-pated, fawning, mewling, elf-skinned puttock

Thou art a churlish, dismal-dreaming fustilarian

thou babbling, guts-griping fat-belly

In sooth, thy dank cavernous tooth-hole consumes all truth and reason

Thou burly-boned malmsey-nosed lout

untaught, sour-natured idiot-worshipper

venomous, muddy-mottled cloakbag of guts

meddling, stretch-mouthed pigeon-egg

gleeking flap-mouthed canker-blossom

Maggot muncher

Thou churlish pottle-deep haggard

Odiferous octupus ooze

By my trowth, thou dost make the millstone seem as a feather what widst thy lard-bloated footfall

Pompous proliferator of putrid puns

currish fat-kidneyed boar-pig

Thou errant spur-galled gudgeon

Vulture vomit

Thy vile canker-blossom'd countenance curdles milk and sours beer

Thou bootless reeling-ripe skainsmate

To find your own insults visit:

This site is perfect for the person who wants to experience insults from the Shakespearean era. It will provide you with insults over and over.

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/

If you want to make up your own insults, this is an excellent site to visit. It contains three columns of words that you put together to make your own personal Shakespearean insults.

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

This is an especially entertaining site. You choose from a set of words and this site turns them into a story complete with Reniassance Insults.

http://www.coreygreen.com/coreystories/insults.html

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Comments 33 comments

Mommymay profile image

Mommymay 3 years ago from Ohio

I totally needed this. I have a friend who is from the UK...never shares what the insults mean when he hurls them! Now...I have a reference :) Cute huB!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Mommymay, so you know what I mean when I say, you know when you've been insulted when you hear an Old English Insult.


jonnycomelately profile image

jonnycomelately 3 years ago from Tasmania

What beautiful and mind-boggling humour. Thanks KoffeeKlatch Gals.

I a trying to find people in my life whom I can address some of these insults to! (Sorry -"...to whom I can address these!.")

One insult I think is funny........ "If your brain had any sense at all it would reject you!"


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

I'm glad I'm not the only one that found this funny.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

What wonderful hub KK G ;original and so entertaining. Loved it and voted up.

Eddy.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

jonnycomelately, I love the brain insult. Thanks for the comment.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Mhatter99, so am I.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Eddy, it was a fun hub to do


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 3 years ago from Massachusetts

Thanks for this wonderful fun hub it was a pleasure to read !

Vote up and more !


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

kashmir56, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

This was a fun hub to read, after reading the insults 'of yore, ours are mild. Ha...Thank's


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Thanks to you, KK Gals, I can now replace my repository of antiquated 'Yo mama ... ' insults with the classics. Maggot muncher and vulture vomit ... now those are INSULTS!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

What a delightful hub! I had so much fun reading it, and I'll bookmark it to read again. Voted Up++++

Jaye


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Can't get any better than this. I know a couple of people to hurl some of these at, but the damn louts won't understand a word of it.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 3 years ago from Central Oklahoma

The thing about the English and their brand of humor is that delivered correctly, insults sound more like a compliment so the insultee rarely knows, if ever, that they've been insulted! I've watched in awe many times while a Brit cut a person to shreds verbally and the target had NO clue it was happening. Truly a thing to behold!

I'm told this art was honed over the last thousand years mainly by servants and courtiers who had to couch their true feelings and opinions in language that wouldn't sound impudent to an employer or other person of higher rank and risk losing their jobs.

Voted UP, useful (extremely!), funnnny and interesting! ;D


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

drbj, they are great insults. We don't know how to insult people these days.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

always exploring, the Old English sure knew how to insult.


jonnycomelately profile image

jonnycomelately 3 years ago from Tasmania

The true Englishman of course is a self-made man. He also worships his Creator, what, what!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

JayeWisdom, it was a lot of fun putting it together.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

aviannovice, that's the problem with using a really good insult.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

JamaGenee, the English really know how to throw an insult.


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 3 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Koffeeklatchgals,

Thank you for putting together this very interesting hub. The language is certainly colorful and now I wish I had read more Shakespeare when I was younger. I will have to find out in what situations all of these insults are used. I work with a lot of British teachers. Perhaps I should ask them about these old English insults. Voted up and sharing with followers.


kschimmel profile image

kschimmel 3 years ago from North Carolina, USA

I love this!!!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

This was too funny! Gosh, I didn't even recognize many of these words and the ones I did I wouldn't have thought to use as an insult. I picture someone saying these in an old English accent with spit flying out of their mouth and rage in their eyes... can't help but laugh! Imagine if we actually used these today, we'd be looked at like we lost our marbles!

Voted up and Funny!

Cat


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

I am hopeful that no one will ever need to hurl any of these at me ...but if they did, I would clearly get the message that was intended.

Voted up and shared.

Angels are on the way this lovely spring evening. :) ps


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Paul Kuehn, do nadk your English friends about the insults. They might get a kick out of them.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

kschimmel, you're welcome.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Cantuhearmescream, I picture the same thing. The words themselves sound so hysterically angry. I'm glad you enjoyed it.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

pstraubie48, I think it might hurt someone's feelings to be talked to that way.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Old English/Shakespearean Insults great hub with such unique information useful and most helpful indeed


Ronna Pennington profile image

Ronna Pennington 17 months ago from Arkansas

Gotta love "maggot muncher!" LOL This Hub was a lot of fun!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 17 months ago from Sunny Florida Author

DDE these are great insults to use in fun to entertain friends.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 17 months ago from Sunny Florida Author

Odiferous octopus ooze is another good one. Actually they are all funny.

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