"On A Rainy Night"

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Someone must get hurt...and it won't be me...

I was standing in the pouring rain,

drenched in drops of dew.

They tasted of honey and chardonnay,

sparkling as only rain can do.

I watched from outside your window

as you lit the candle lights

preparing for a night of passion.

you had the mood set just right.

I let out a silent sigh

how predictable you are.

I looked up to the sky,

not a single star.

It was like a sauna where I stood,

steam flowed from the blacktop,

It was the perfect night for murder,

like death, the rain won't stop.

Humidity thick in the air,

darkness surrounding me like a cloak,

as I walked up to your doorstep,

with a fire ready to stoke.

I rang the doorbell once, twice,

and patiently I waited,

a hooded figure with a knife behind my back,

for my anger to be sated.


© Copyright NMJ 2011









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Comments 17 comments

Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Oh wow, this is dark and forbidding. Someone's in a mood. LOL. Nikki, you write with fervor and grim determination here. Something tells me there is a follow-up to this...

I am morbidly curious to know what happens next... I don't know why... but I sense a weird conversation and a making-up moment, and the anger and angst subside...

But that is just me. For all I know, this woman could be a serial Killer and I am waaaayyy off. LOL. Great writing as always. :)


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

With a valueless glow,

We see not to mess with Nicole...

Great Images Nicole.;)


Cheeky Girl 5 years ago

Nikki, someone is in the mood for Murder. And maybe someone is going to have their head served on a plate! Cathy is leaning towards - to paraphrase Monty Python... "always look on the bright side of life..." (Cue whistling song!) Hah! I am betting the other way on this one! :D


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

hmm i was not planning on a follow up astra...but you have given me an idea.. I'm not really sure where this one came from, but I'm assuming something inspired me. I had been catching up on everyones latest hubs. and when I wrote this it reminded me of the song that I have posted in there with it. I hope you all listened to the song. It goes great with this poem and its one of my faves. Thanks all for the comments. Hmm and I think Cheeky may be more right than Cathy. >:] Bahahhahhhaha < (maniacal laughter)...


Ghaelach 5 years ago

Morning Nikki.

Spotted your poem while hub-hopping.

Hope you managed to sleep good last night with the "sombre mood" you must have been in to write this dark poem.

Still i think it's very good, as always from you.

It is nice to read something that is about the dark side of our lives and not always about the loves we have.

Can't hear the music in Germany, so will go to You Tube and listen. Tell me is that you in the first foto Nikki??

Take care.

LOL Ghaelach


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

No, no. That is the album cover for the bands CD. lol. This isnt really anything from my life just a fictional work of poetry. and I am glad you found it and like it. Thanks for stopping by :)


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

Lol, Hmmmm honestly sounds like something I would do mentally. Jus saying we all have our deep dark thoughts. Great write tho sunshine I wanted it to carryon. Maybe a short story should take sight?? JUS SAYING!!

smiles :)

bella


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

hmm short story on this sounds like an idea. i may try one. Thanks bella dear!


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Coolness. The rhyming felt natural and I'm always a fan of your imagery. It's nice to see you've been constantly honing your craft since I've been away. Write on, young poetess.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

haha this was the first in awhile but i need to start writing more. Thanks doug! I just posted a short story that kinda goes with this, (thanks to Bella suggesting I do that)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...oooh I love these dark poems where somebody gets hurt - sounds and feels like the territory I like to work in - well I guess it takes one to know one as they - and I'm sure glad to know your writing - it always catches me off guard - the mark of a great writer, which is you.

lake erie time 2:40pm


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

This sounds like a steaming, blood curdling, heated romance gone astray. I could feel the tenseness, the imagery was stark and revealing. "They tasted of honey and chardonnay," loved this line.

Then you very slowly put up your hood and stepped out of the shadows of revenge and drew the glistening knife that the moon reflected as you passed by the front door. It's reflection waiting to penetrate flesh and twist and feel the anger released and he dropped to the floor dead.

Bravo, well done, take a bow...loved this piece.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

thank u epi and saddlerider. true gentlemen you are indeed. I bow to you in gratitude.


JadedLove 5 years ago

I love the darkness in you, so beautiful and warm. I must say I am very please with the way you write. Feels so close to home.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

thank u JL. have yu been following my short story Maybe Its Murder? 4 parts up. 5th coming soon. It is based off of this poem. Bellawritter gave me the idea for it.


Poetic Fool 4 years ago

Nikki, your words painted this image so vividly it was like viewing a photograph! So very well done. Dark and deliciously diabolic!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana Author

ooh a triple D comment! Thanks Poetic fool! This poem kind of goes with a story I am working on. "Maybe its Murder" I have some of it published on here in parts if yu ever get the chance to check em out.

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