On The Last Day Of My Life......

Someone asked me the other day ........
when do you heal from the loss of a loved one
and it took awhile to answer them...

It all comes in small offerings.....of the surviving
in minute pieces......so small they are
not always seen till the end...

A few kind words .......one flower......
A smile and a hug .....though none of this
will work in the present day

Loss takes a life time to heal from
and ......in one small gift of love at
a time ....one word to say

An angry shout out....at a seemingly
unfeeling god ....Looking up
at the silent heavens beyond the sky

When you need the words the most and
they do not come .......When you
fall to your knees and cry

And right to the last day of living , some
word some tear ....some touch....
will say ....." It's all okay now "

And you will look back and know it......
there is no healing ...there is only
acceptance somehow

Comments 10 comments

tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

ahorseback, this left me speechless, in awe. It touched something buried deep in my spirit. I am in the autumn of my life, and I ponder loss and death alot. This seemed like a soothing balm to my spirit. Bookmarking this one for revisitation, for sure!

CheyenneAutumn profile image

CheyenneAutumn 5 years ago

Acceptance in that moment of a memory, that brings a sorrow. So we try to put a memory in the place of sorrow. Until all we have are memories blanketing the loss and the sorrow. The continuing moments of moving on...

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Tnderhrt23, I am glad that it is so meaningful to you !Thank you !For without you, writing wouldnt be so rewarding.

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Hello my dear Cheyenne, umm ,I wish I had your wisdom! That is so insightful, Thank you!!!

rn0314@nc.rr.com 5 years ago

Soo true! This write depicts my feelings on grieving, there is no right nor wrong way. We all grieve differently and this just shows too that thank goodness i'm not the ony one that shouts at God....Great write daddy!!

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Thank you sweeet pea. Even with faith , we are still only human . Thanks sweety , I too have screamed .

Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

You know Grandparents rarely show up but brother 1st almost 20 years ago, then Dad, daughter-in-law (like daughter)6 yr old granddaughter, sister-in-law (like sister) and then my Mom. They all visit but Mom,I mean they come to mind like visiting (I am not nuts yet)with Mom maybe because it has only been 6 months and I fought 3 years to protect her and failed. I can pick up something in the house that reminds me of her maybe not even hers and usually can fight the tears but it is not easy, I loved her more than life, but I expect it has to get some better. I had a school mate say oh you get over it but the way they said it I don't think everyone does have the same feelings.

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Hey Pollyannalana, No you are not nuts, I have found that only the sharp edges of loss dull into something more tolerable, the alternative , is to push the memories away to some dark place that all your emotions go too! And that is not good ! But I believe that we can "visit " anytime we wish with those gone before us. And besides , They are still "here" ,aren't they!....Big Hugs to you .

Marina Lester 5 years ago

Sad and beautiful, I know, years later, loss will always bring tears almost like it just happened... and yet ... this is so beautiful ahorseback, so much heart and emotion. We all need these words, so I deeply thank you...

"An angry shout out....at a seemingly

unfeeling god"


"When you need the words the most and

they do not come " ... Wonderful. Sometimes, I just don't have the right words to compliment my fellows work, this is certainly one of those times...

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago Author

Marina , Your reading and feeling my writing is plenty enough , If I could have any special ability , it would be to heal others from the cost of losing someone or something important in thier lives. I have shoulted angrily at God in my time and I have prayed for those who have suffering to be healed. We are such a desperate

part of this world , no? :] Thanks for reading.

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