On the Span's Brooklyn Side

The dark clouds filled the skies,

whatever he preached about life were all lies,

these thoughts were rushing in like the tide,

as his reality, died,

from the right lane of the bridge,

he could make out a cluster of emergency vehicles

on the span’s Brooklyn side,

his sanity just wanted to go for the ride,

he wanted to take his own life,

and he had nothing to hide,

it was his suicide

so he would jump without pride,

all this because his cover was blown,

the scene closed to the public,

and a yellow police ribbon marked the zone,

the bridge, colossal in its architecture,

and straddling the river with its massive concrete,

its where the souls would meet,

after lives fell to defeat,

and angels would cry,

because they knew it was just a dreary place to die

© 2015 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 31 comments

Lee Cloak 20 months ago

Potent stuff, very strong writing, fantastic, brilliant, really enjoyable, thanks you!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

no thank you for reading :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 20 months ago from Southern Illinois

Sad story told in rhyme. I loved it!


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I can feel the cold bite of both the weather and the moment. Well done.


annart profile image

annart 20 months ago from SW England

Full of despair and gloom; the weather echoed the emotion. You're a great wordsmith, Frank!

Ann


zighod profile image

zighod 20 months ago from algeria

wow good i ove it


billybuc profile image

billybuc 20 months ago from Olympia, WA

A dreary place to die for sure, Frank. I think I'll choose the mountains. :) Nice work my friend.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 20 months ago from southern USA

Gripping an intense poem here, dear Frank. Your writing sure has excelled in its brilliance here of late, but you have always been great. However, now you are brilliant. That photo is perfect for this dramatic, yet dismal piece.

Talking about reality, and coincidence, I was thinking of a title of a piece ..."When Reality Dims" ... Great minds think alike ...

Up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

Bless you, oh fab one : )


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 20 months ago from New York

How deep into the heart you've gone with this one. Desolation and despair lead to some pretty drastic actions.

The Brooklyn Bridge of all places, certainly this death would make the angels cry!

Voted up, awesome, beautiful, and interesting.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 20 months ago from The Beautiful South

Great poem Frank; and looks like the perfect place to die to me! But I am no angel.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 20 months ago from USA

Awesome poem, Frank. I could feel the poor guy's desperation. There is a large bridge near my neighborhood and there have been "jumpers" before ... not a nice way to die.

The creepiest thing is that the HP gods have suggested a related hub as fun things to do in Brooklyn. Kinda weird, huh? Almost like they have a wicked sense of humor about your hub here.


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 20 months ago from Nibiru

sad jumper, he couldn't live with his cover blown. Had to go one way or the other.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

always exploring, and eric thank you for visiting the bridge Frank


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

annart, billybuc, and zighod thanks for checking out my bridge :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

really Faith... they seem not to know the content..LOL thank you for not jumping off this bridge LOL


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much til for reading my bridge and thank you too Jackie bless you both


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

flourish and clive thanks so much for visiting my bridge bless you guys :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 20 months ago from Queensland Australia

Your portrayed his feeling of despair excellently Frank..if you are choosing a place to die it may as well be a dreary one like the Brooklyn Bridge. Wonderful poetry and story combined.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks Jodah, good to see you my friend :)


MsDora profile image

MsDora 20 months ago from The Caribbean

What a pity that this impressive structure becomes a meeting place for disappointed, departed souls. Your poem calls attention to the mental state of the people who participate. Good job every time!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much MsDora for reading and commenting :)


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 20 months ago from sunny Florida

Sad and dreary and alone although many are around...how heart breaking that a magnificent structure can be a lure to those who fail to find a reason to go on.

thoughtfully constructed, Frank..

Know that Angels are on the way to you this evening ps

Voted up+++ and shared


Sara Sarwar Riaz profile image

Sara Sarwar Riaz 20 months ago from Michigan, USA

Poignant, and yet beautifully penned.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you pstraubie for commenting and visiting, and thank you too Sara bless you both :)


Ariel-Cal profile image

Ariel-Cal 20 months ago from Bridgeport, CT

Thumbs up+interesting +beautiful sir! Where do you find the time!


Smilealot 20 months ago

The theme and the pictures worked perfectly together, a sense of despair permeates through the words. Great work Frank:-))


wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 20 months ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

You know, Frank, I don't usually read poetry. I never thought I had much of a head for it. But your dark verse interests me because its not about the usual sentimental stuff; and your language is direct.

Tell me, Frank, I'm wondering if you ever get ideas for stories from your poems. It seems like you could.

Anyway, its like you've decided that the dark side either deserves or needs its own (tribute?) in verse.

I've got it: Your verse is like the world of Maleficent, dark but not without its own beauty in its shadow.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

winged you hit it right on the nail's head.. I write poetry to see if it'll make a good short story.. crime poems for crime flash fiction.. good eye my friend and thank you for reading today


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 20 months ago from USA

Awesome. It made me think of someone I know, sadly.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 20 months ago from Shelton Author

Im so sorry Flourish..bless you


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 14 months ago from Shelton Author

@ AC... ariel was that a shot? LOL thanks for jumping off the bridge..LOL.. and smilealot means a great deal coming from Mr. Poet :)

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