On which side do you dress, Sir?

I stumbled over this question on the net while looking for something else and it took me back a few years. I once worked in an up-market gent’s outfitters for a number of years – as a salesman, not a tailor.

Every customer who wanted a made-to-measure suit was asked on which side his genitalia hung when it came to measuring him for his trousers.

According to the online answers, the question was asked so that the tailor could leave extra material on the ‘hanging genitalia’ side.

Mindful of the 50 year time lapse, that’s not how I remember it. Measuring a guy for trousers involves the sales person getting the tape measure right up to the crotch. In order to do this, we asked the customer to spread his legs and that is when we would ask, ‘What side to you dress, Sir?’

If his genitalia hung down on his right hand side, we would know to measure on his left hand side. If we measured on his right hand side, two things could happen.

  1. We wouldn’t be able to get the tape measure far enough up without embarrassing him.
  1. He could become slightly frisky.

There was never any mention of the tailor using extra material to allow the customer’s dangly parts more breathing space - but then, my memory isn’t what it used to be, I think.

You want your inside leg measured, Miss?


Every week we would get girls coming in asking us to take their inside leg measurement. The ladies, usually teenagers, but sometimes women in their twenties, would normally enter in giggly twosomes – one egging the other on.

It was obvious why they wanted their inside leg measured, but we used to have fun showing them different suits and trousers, and asking them if they wanted to try them on. Strangely enough, they never asked us to measure their chest sizes, something we would have done eagerly.

After we’d had some quiet giggles of our own, we would measure their outside leg from the waist to the ankle – and subtract 6 inches. This used to annoy the hell out of them.

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Comments 20 comments

precy anza profile image

precy anza 4 years ago from San Diego

Enjoyed reading this. And had some giggles too. ^-^'


Eric Newland profile image

Eric Newland 4 years ago from Dayton, Ohio

Interesting. I wouldn't even know how to answer this question, even now that I know what it means. Then again, I've never dressed more dapper than a rental tux. I think most modern men's pants are roomy enough in front that your manhood isn't forced to make a choice. Unless it's just me that doesn't have this problem, which probably isn't a good thing.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

I'm glad you liked it, and had a laugh, precy anza.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

Thanks for reading Eric. Trust me, it isn't just you that has this problem. When we asked the customers what side they dresed on, there was always a blank look on their faces.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Gee, the stuff one can learn reading your hubs, sir. And you were paid in real money for that job, John?


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

You mean I should have been paid?? Hang around drbj and I'll show you how to read meters, lay carpets, weigh railroad cars, teach driving, tap dance,& etc. Thanks for reading drbj.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

'How's it hanging?' is a tailoring lexicon? How funny is that? Hope all is well. You teach tap dancing also?


Terri Meredith profile image

Terri Meredith 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

This gave me quite a chuckle. I was immediately reminded of a "Friends" episode where Joey sends Chandler to his family tailor. Chandler returns home upset, claiming that "definite cupping" going on when he was measured..leading to Joey finding out that he had been being molested all his life (because he had assumed such actions were part of the measuring process).

rated up and funny!


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

Hi mckbirdbks. I never thought about it that way, but the more I consider it, the more I think you're right, Mike. I wonder if that what a friend means when he says he's 'hanging loose'?

Naw I don't teach tap dancing. Away back before you were born and before radios, gramophones and TV's, buskers and travelling people used to come round the towns teaching things. I was coerced into tap dancing. One of the travellers taught how to play the drums - that I liked. I was also taught how to do fretwork and various other odd things. Nowadays I can't do any of them.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

Thank you for reading Terri. It would be the perfect position for a molester to work in without being suspected. Inside leg measuring was one of the distasteful parts of the job - now if we were allowed to measure the females' inside legs, that would be altogether different.


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 4 years ago from trailer in the country

Wow, thanks for commenting on my site or I would never had read this one...interesting to say the least.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

My pleasure Enlydia. It is remarkable what you can remember when considering hub subjects.


Ghost32 4 years ago

Now, that's interesting. I'd have thought you'd have the girls hold their OWN end of the tape up there where the sun starts not to shine, then YOU would have been politely studying the numbers at the FLOOR end of the measuring thingie ONLY.

But what do I know? A clothing store is one place I've NOT worked. :)

Voted Up and a Bunch.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

Thanks for the visit, comment and votes, Ghost32. If we had been using a tape measure on the girls' inside leg, you can bet we would have been holding each end of the tape. We wouldn't have minded giving them a thrill.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 4 years ago from Arizona

Now that is funny, I've never been asked that by a tailor but Purple Hog Leathers who made my motorcycle chaps back in the 80's did ask that and they asked, "Which side do you pack your junk?" It's probably junk now but back then it certainly wasn't LOL.

voted up large!,

50


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

Thanks for the visit and comment 50 caliber. I'm suffering from the same time change re junk, 50 Caliber. Way back then when I was riding my Bonneville, I couldn't afford chaps - now that I can I don't have a bike. Enjoy, 50.


cowboymi 4 years ago

When I was 18 over 50 years ago, my parents saved enough money for me to have a suit for high school graduation. At Sears, the tailor asked me if I dress on the left or right and said I just sat on the bed. :)


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence Author

cowboymi: I'm glad you read and commented, cowboymi. I love your reminiscing comment - it is exactly the thing I would have said in your situation if I hadn't already worked in a gent's outfitters. Magic.


Sachin 23 months ago

I appreciate your kind and geeruons advice a lot!. I have been trying it hardly and did not get those amazing results!. It is nice to see that you got my comment in a good way!God bless you!VA:F [1.9.10_1130]please wait VA:F [1.9.10_1130](from 0 votes)


Jodecy 23 months ago

You mean I don't have to pay for expert advice like this anoerym?!

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