Open Arms

a quiet touch poem...


The red lace slipping

over her hips,

tongue wetting her delicate lips,

the skirt dropping to her feet.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 41 comments

Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Yes, Frank. You scored it!

You have delivered a sensuous haiku :)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Although this is quite good Frank, the traditional form of Haiku is 3 lines. The first line has 5 syllables, second line has 7 syllables and the 3rd line has 5 syllables.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Ruchira.. and Susan thanks I hope I get an A for effort :)


Eanatas profile image

Eanatas 4 years ago from Ohio

This is a Haiku. It is your Haiku. It is a very well written Haiku. You show a skill for painting a picture for the reader. The mood, and the momment were captured. This is what the Haiku represents. The 5,7,5 is only one of many, true it has taken the forefront, but you should define your own writing style, if you want to be respected.


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

Definitely an A for the visual. Valentine delivery all over it. Get it to 17 syllables and you're golden.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Frank

A proper Haiku or not, this little number is really hot. ;-)

Voted up.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Well Frankie boy, uncross those fingers cause you did it magnificently; especially for the groom! Really good Frank. You got a future in the haiku biz.


asmaiftikhar profile image

asmaiftikhar 4 years ago from Pakistan

A well knitted image.


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

Brethren this world is equally yours . As you explore the boundaries of your own human imagination. That's your playing field also.

My fingers are crossed.


time2rite profile image

time2rite 4 years ago from Navarre, Fl, USA

Still not a big fan of the Haiku but, Frank, you have enticed me with your well-penned imagery...wow, HOT!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks Eanatas.. I see so many of them written and I just had to jump on the band-wagon.. :) Frank


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Cyndi10 I'll take that A thanks for reading.. Sueswan not or hot? LOL I'll take that too.. Alastar going to buy an open for business sign for my Haikus LOL thanks for reading folks :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Asma thank you so much for the comment.. Sky you know how we do it in Da Block..LOL Time2rite that was so generous of you bless you :) thanks again one and all :)


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Great..., ---ah, the wonders of languages (Japanese in this case) that use characters instead of alphabets...lol

Enjoyed it and gave it thumbs up

John


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks John for the vote of confidence :)


duffsmom profile image

duffsmom 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

Wonderful. A story told with just a few lines. Excellent Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Duffsmom


poetvix profile image

poetvix 4 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

Oh my goodness! HP is heating up for Valentine's Day. Frank, I love your poems of crime drama. After reading this, I know for a fact you could do erotica as well as any! I have to leave now. I hear a cold shower calling my name... geez it's hot!


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Your poem sounds well. Voted up and awesome


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Poetvix.. LOL let me run that cold shower for ya..LOL thanks for reading what I thought was a Haiku.. but im learning thanks to folks like Hyphen and Just ask Susan and the other great Haiku..ers..:) and Writer20 thank you for leaving your footprints yet again bless you ...:)


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Freezing,cold showers

I do not care for them, what

ever shall I do?

My, my, my Frank. That was quite a change of style for you. :)

Forgive my pathetic attempt at a Haiku response. Theresa


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

I know.. Phdast.. right? LOL thanks for stopping by Frank


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Hot attempt at Haiku! Keep 'em comin! 5-7-5 :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

oh now I get it.. I thought Susan was secretly giving me her phone number when she explained the 575.. I get it now.. Sunshine eyes open.. and those dirty thoughts of Susan gone..:) OOOPPPPs..:) cleared up thanks so much Sunshine


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh yes brilliant Frank;a great haiku and here's to so mny more to share on here.

Take care my friend and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Eddy..bless you :)


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

I know you are quite capable of handling you self in all seasons , Remember Moses!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Sky :) Frank


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Nicely done. Up, awesome, and interesting. Whats not to love? Such a great ending:)


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Great first Haiku, looking forward to more. Voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks the Lyric writer for reading and thank you writer20 for reading my first and my last Haiku you r the best :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

ohhh.. Mr. frank.. this is so hot.. this is first? wonderful sir... you are so awesome..

i am a big fan.

i voted up

debbie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

You are simply way too generous with your comments Our Ms Brooks :) Frank


suzzycue profile image

suzzycue 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Wonderful. I like reading haiku and your's paints a very sensual picture. Well done.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you for sharing your comment with me Suzzycue :) Frank


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I one word,sensual.

Hubpages has gone gaga with haiku. Many hubbers are doing haiku for the first time. I hope to read more from you in the coming days.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks VG I gotta leave the haikus for the professionals like Just Ask Susan Sueswan, and Super Hyphen! LOL thanks for reading though


Surabhi Kaura profile image

Surabhi Kaura 9 months ago from Toronto, Canada

Ah! Lovely!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

4 years old and you still found it LOL thanks for checking this out


Surabhi Kaura profile image

Surabhi Kaura 9 months ago from Toronto, Canada

Well, yea... it's always a pleasure to read old writes. Will catch up with your other hubs soon after my licensing exam, Frank. You write very well. It's cool.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks Surabhi.. Ill stop by to return the favor.. peace and good luck on your exams

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