Our public persona and our public space

Our public presence

Our family is just one public among our various publics. One's colleagues in the scientific community, if one is a scientist, is just one of a scientist's different publics. Our website visitors is also another public. As you and me very well know, the human person, a very complex being, normally, needs a friendly public space.

The kind of sleep we have after a hectic and stressful day most often depend on the widening or narrowing of our public space. This part of the self that wants to be perceived as respectable, professional, humane, compassionate, honest and all the other components of the human person’s higher-ordered values, does not just come to us like drizzles in a beautiful morning. How we are viewed in people’s public spaces is something we earn in an on-going basis. As the slogan goes, “No work, no pay”.There are no holidays.

You may argue along the line of “Love me for what I am” and “Why should I care if you don’t take me for what I am?” Yes, that is one argument when you need to restore your ruffled feathers but day-to-day living is much more than copping out of the challenges of self-actualization. Getting stuck in the “love me for what I am” paradigm is like staying as a kindergarten forever. An adult’s public space is made up of adult discourses. Among them is taking responsibility for one’s decisions. The degree of tolerance or intolerance for an exhibited behavior in the workplace, in the home, in a bus or in a pub varies from one person to another. The width or length of one's public space is never the same from one day to another day. That is why there is a need for a continuing watch over the effects of our decisions or behavior in our different publics.

I know you are familiar with the concept of the “blind spot”in the way a person relates with other people. This "blind spot" comes from the psychological tool called the Johari Window invented by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955 in the United States to help people better understand their communications and relationships. The Johari Window is a quadrant representing the four windows of the self: the public self which is that part of you that you and others know; the unknown self which is that part of you that you know but others don’t; the “blind spot” which is that part of you that you do not know but others know and the unkown self which is the subconscious. This is the part of you that you and others do not know. The part of you that you need to know is the invitation of your higher self’s window toward a higher level of evolution. Each person is called by the “collective higher self” of society to push further beyond mediocrity – beyond the rawness of the physical self and the mental self which is the higher self. Better still if the physical, mental and higher selves are very well integrated for a truly balanced life.

It is not always good to be an irritating presence in the different publics of our lives. Do you remember when you said that you were kind of being tortured when you were listening to this particular personality - the arrogant poor listener who was with you in a seminar you can no longer recall? You were so stressed when you came home one afternoon. You said you couldn’t pursue the points you were stressing because this particular personality was so insensitive to care to stop talking to give others the chance to talk. You said that kind of person is someone you would never welcome in your space. This is a case of a person whose “blind spot” in his personality must have never been relayed to him as a feedback for his own introspection. Sometimes, the role of risk-takers is needed to relay the feedback to the person who is not aware of his “blind spot.”

That part of the quadrant which is both unknown to others and to the self is another aspect to explore. Psychoanalysts say that the subconscious is a very powerful part of the self that if only people could harness it, not only that people would advance on the personal level but society would be the better for it.

Another factor that makes people an irritating presence in their respective publics is that of personal hygiene. One of the most difficult feedback to give is something on personal hygiene as in the case of bad breath. If it is your brother or your sister who has a problem in personal hygiene, giving a feedback is not as hard to do as with someone who is an officemate. And yet, if only there was a colleague who would have kindly dared to give the much needed feedback, the officemate with a bad breath could have found a solution. It is along this line of personal hygiene that people need to be vigilant about. Feedbacks are rare in this department.

How does one detect that he has a bad breath problem? It takes just some time of keenly observing the expressions on people’s faces when they are in front of the person with a personal hygiene problem. You bet. Either they keep pinching their noses or they don’t stay long to talk with the officemate with a problem. And yet, bad breath, if it is not coming from halitosis, can be avoided so easily with dental flossing and tongue scraping every day. Even with good brushing if the plaque on the tongue is not scraped by a safe tongue scraper prescribed by a dentist, chances are bacteria will set into the plaque and will not only cause bad breath but will endanger the heart as well. In the morning before going to work, it is always good to resolve not to be an irritating presence in people’s working lives. Earning that much needed public space is something that is hard to monetize. With your secure public space, building your economic and social capital won't be difficult.

I included here a video from You Tube on the subject of oral hygiene. I hope this topic is of some help.

I also added a photo service link from Flickr which I found in igoogle.com. It's truly a feast for the eyes! Please just follow the link:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucidpieces/36967116/

Fresh Breath

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Comments 7 comments

Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Francia

Thanks for answering what I posited - and very candidly too! Yes, I get your point and thanks for putting it across without the slightest hint of irritation! LOL

By the way, in my comment prior to this, the word meant was awful and not what's showing - talk about context! :D


franciaonline profile image

franciaonline 7 years ago from Philippines Author

 


franciaonline profile image

franciaonline 7 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi Cris,

Hehehe, your argument on the blind spot sounds charming. Ok, let's put it this way, I am not the mother of a guy who can't put up with a dissenting opinion in whatever context he's in. Instead of being irritated by his attitude, I find him cute. I think this situation would be aligned with the exchange between a saddist and a masochist. In other words, a compulsion for wanting pain as in the case of a masochist and its opposite as in the case of a saddist is more of an exception to the norm that people wouldn't want pain inflicted on themselves or the other way around. What I understand in my practice of conducting processes that will encourage people to give feedback on "blindspots" as a part of team building is that we do not really deal with "blindspots" as universal absolutes.The Johari Window is a psychological tool - a framework and a lens at the same time. I hope I didn't irritate you (LOL)!

Thanks,again, for your dynamic and interesting presence at Hubpages.

Thanks, again, Cris for the encouraging comment.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Hi francia,

Great read, as usual. I have an issue with "blind spots". For the sake of argument, what if people react to what you think is a blind sport differently. Let's say I find what irritates you in the personality above interesting (and I'm not his mother! LOL) And if that were the case, are blind spots therefore not universal absolutes? 

As for hygiene as a blind spot - I couldn't agree more! That is one absoultely aweful truth :D

Btw, I really like how you write what could otherwise be boring, academic subjects if treated differently. Yours is a case in point that intellectual writing need not be too academic sounding and marginalizing :D


franciaonline profile image

franciaonline 7 years ago from Philippines Author

 


franciaonline profile image

franciaonline 7 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi Elena,

Thanks for dropping by and leaving an encouraging comment. You say it well that what we are is also dependent on the reality that surrounds us. Indeed, self-improvement demands maturity.


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Hi franciaonline! Great hub, very interesting read! I think you nail it when you say "Getting stuck in the 'love me for what I am' paradigm is like staying as a kindergarten forever." What we are is not only dependent on, well, what we are, but also on the reality that surrounds us. Kudos!

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