Pee in the shower: Taboo or a God given rite of manhood?

Shower

Two heads are better than one.
Two heads are better than one. | Source

I got caught, thanks to folly!

The Folly:

My wife of 11 years noticed the other morning that I had not used the toilet. She had noticed the lid was in the down position, I do not leave the lid down, and of this she is keenly aware. She confronted me like a lawyer would, knowing the answer to the questions, but asking the questions that can only lead to one ultimate answer. The one she wants, of which I am guilty.

The Plea:

As usual, I begin my torrid day by hitting snooze 8 times. At 5:27 A.M I rise, eyes crusty with the nights sleep. My brain is fogged and not fully awakened. The first thing I need to do in my morning ritual is the same as everyone else in the world. I am only assuming and making generalities, I don't know for a fact, but chances are good I am accurate. That need is of course the "Code Red" need to evacuate the bladder. The bladder becomes full as one sleeps for an extended period, but this is not always the case. Sometimes the bladder is only slightly filled and the urge to evacuate is not present when one awakens for a day of adventure.

On these non "Code Red" days I will go straight to the shower and get the water flowing. While the water is running to achieve the proper temperature and comfort level that I enjoy, I will brush my teeth and gargle with Scope. When this is done, I check the water temperature in the shower. If it is acceptable I begin my shower. First thing that I do in a shower is shampoo my hair. As the warm water flows through my hair and down to the drain, somewhere along the way it flows across my hidden "Code Red" evacuate the bladder button. When this button has been activated there is only one solution and that is my dilemma.

The Dilemma:

Being faced with this, I will make snap decision and let it fly into the drain. My wife says this is unsanitary and says I should get out of the shower and pee in the toilet.

The Pros:

This is a valuable time saver in the morning especially when one is running late.

Saved time by multi-tasking i.e.: Shampoo hair while peeing.

Safe operation as it is completely hands free.

The Cons:

Exiting the shower while wet and water is running substantially raises the all too real risk of a hip shattering fall or possibly a concussive impact to the head.

Everything gets wet including the toilet seat when an exit is made during a shower.

A risk of electrical shock.

Damn it is cold in the morning, even during summer months.

The Conclusion:

I welcome any input on this matter. Pro or Con, please help me convince my wife that my son and I have the God given rite of manhood to pee in the shower, and on ant hills.

#1

Comments 13 comments

bigdaddyslady 9 years ago

Ok, husband of mine... That is gross plain and simple. If the urge strikes while in the shower, YOU HOLD IT! I mean dang, men are in the shower roughly 7-8 minutes. The urge didn't strike until about 2 minutes into it. So we are talking about having to hold it for a maximum of 6 minutes. I know I am speaking from a woman's point of view, but surely guys have SOME control over that organ at SOME point of the day. Love


peeroid profile image

peeroid 9 years ago

how about just taking you a bucket in the shower.when through just dump it.PROBLEM SOLVED!!!!! :) PEEROID!!!!!!!


Buddy 9 years ago

It could be worse - peeing when taking a bath. Suggest to your wife that she doesn't know how lucky she is.

Also, save some money; gargle with hydrogen peroxcide. Healthier and a fraction of Scope's cost. Also, spit the H2O2 out in the shower and disinfect the shower floor too.


ponyboyxpress 9 years ago

retarded story boy


Ole Number One profile image

Ole Number One 9 years ago from Louisiana Author

Not so much a story. Thanks, you have dashed my dreams. I hope to be more like you one day, I took some notes while I read over and over your essay to me.

Your non-use of the shift key is the most noticable of your outstanding qualifications in the area of literary criticisms. Next, I noticed in your seething opinion column, well worded may I add, a lack of punctuation, or for that matter, a lack of basic sentences. That is writing, thanks for your usage of the English langauge in all facets.


sandra rinck 8 years ago

peeing in the shower is priceless, it's not just for men you know.


HubCrafter profile image

HubCrafter 6 years ago from Arizona

Hi Ole Number One:

I can't talk about the pee thing. I'm still washing my hands.

So. You married this Mother Theresa like saint who can hold up under the stress of you being you. Why you just gotta pee and tell, now? You know she's grossed out. Is it a Sinatra, "I gotta be ME" thing, or what, lol.

The whole 'gross and tell' thing. It's just hard-wired into being a guy. Isn't it?

I mean; one guy smells death coming from the refrigerator and he's just GOTTA shove it under his buddies nose. "Smell this. It's gross!".

Girls? Nah. They just pop out an EEK! And march it to the trash can like it's a mouse.

Yeah. There's a gal or two who share the urge to gross and tell. But that's just bein en-culturated by too many brothers... and maybe Dad tells fart jokes.

Personally, I just don't think women have the genetic aptitude for grossology that men have.

Ever since men learned to make fire by rubbing two sticks together...they've been making gross noises and laughing about it.

But really dude..it's no gift from God to gross out your old lady. He's probably disappointed the whole flood thing didn't get rid of the problem. Once and for all, lol.

HubCrafter


lesmace 6 years ago

The warm water makes me pee everytime! I think its weird if you don't pee in the shower. My boyfriend said he never pees in the shower and I encourage him to try it.


ilike2peeintheshower 6 years ago

im a girl its sterile and it will wash away what's the big deal


Chauffeur 6 years ago

Isn't it normal?


College boy 5 years ago

When I was a little kid I would pee in the tub while mom was giving me a bath. That made her angry, because it was dirty. I loved it.

As I got older and was able to bathe my self, I continued to pee in the tub. During high school I would lie in the empty tub and pee on my self. It became very sexy. Here in college, I found that my roommate peed all over himself, before turning on the shower. I saw him do it and found it very erotic. I stepped in while he was peeing and was covered by it. I came without touching my self. He was scarred until I told him I did the same at home in the tub.

We are now lovers and pee on eachother in the morning before class and in the evening before going to bed making love.


A MAN 5 years ago

i also did got caught

and i loved it


helmutbiscut profile image

helmutbiscut 5 years ago from Ohio

I'd have to go with safety first...

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