Pretty Poems for Dirty Minds

I'm just a humble poet. I write from my soul about beautiful things I see. Yet everywhere around us the world is charged with sexual energy. Plus my subconscious is bubbling over with repressed libido from a Catholic childhood. Maybe all that explains why my sweet, pretty, soulful poems all seem to be so perverse. Every one of these poems could be about some dirty, depraved, sexual act. So I'm told! I'm too pure--you buyin' this?--I'm too pure to see these dirty, dirty subtexts myself. So I'm not gonna tell you what those acts are. Also, I don't want to give my friend Nellieanna a cardiac arrest. If you have a clean mind, these will look like pretty poems about natural phenomena and that they are. If you have a dirty mind, these will look truly sleazy. The choice is yours.

Poem #1

It's a full moon
And in the canyon
Something moves, something pulls, something
Shudders the very earth;
The rocks come pouring out
With a gasp--
A yawning--
Through the newly-opened cave
I see the dark side of the moon.

There! Isn't that pretty? I don't see what could be dirty about that. It's about finding new passageways in the canyon of life by the light of the moon. Right? Yeah.

Poem #2

Language shuddered in the misty air,
Its bed twisted and pressed;
And the hot lava blistered in sputters
Down the crevice lip,
Along the golden stones,
Glistening the incandescence,
Until the windows began to sweat;
Conifers heat-split in dewy predawn
Til sap met flame and the fumes--
The fumes set the creatures to sleep,
Morning breeze to dry the way.

You can just feel the countryside warmth as the Icelandic geyser seeps warmth into chilled hearts. Does this poem warm you up?

Poem #3

So banal
As the bees flew off,
The entrance to the Southern caves--
Where Grails of darker sorts,
Interred, the dead things,
Transgressed arbitrary spirits--
Heavenly invitation to
Infernal mysteries;
Treated right--a paradise.

Ah! A metaphysical poem in the tradition of John Donne and the Graveyard Poets bringing us face to face with the truth of mortality and our need to penetrate to our depths to find meaning. I hope it helps you dig deeper.

Poem #4

Reenactments on the plains
Attracted curious tourists.
What a lost art the battering ram,
Since Vikings first parted unyielding gates
With muscular arms and wooden thrusts--
Out of fashion with corset and codpiece.
Roles would be played and gates would be crashed
Delighting and spicing a few tired lives.

And doesn't everyone enjoy reenactments from the days of yore? Actually, this one's just about roleplaying rape fantasies. Gotcha! Hey, couples get up to weird things. It's a fact of life. And a beautiful one.

Well, thanks for reading. If you've been scandalized--well, what can I say, it's your own fault. Actually, some of the best poetry in history is all about hiding imagery beneath imagery. Shakespeare's poetry (in the plays and sonnets) is full of hidden sexual imagery. Poetry has always and still does reward dirty minds. So I'm proud to say I have one.

After reading the poems...

How dirty is your mind?

See results without voting

Comments 35 comments

MojoJojo49 profile image

MojoJojo49 6 years ago

Very funny. Nice ambiguity.

ralwus 6 years ago

I am shocked, really shocked.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Thanks, Mojo!

Ralwus: haha excellent!

Thanks for commenting.

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Anything that brings a little... umm.. warmth to this cold world is ok with me... LOL

Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

You certainly know how to turn a phrase... It is unusual to think a poem about the moon, natural phenomena and battering rams could be so--intriguing.

Great stuff!


Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Muscle: haha that's my way of thinkin'!

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey Mike, thanks for dropping by. I'm thrilled to see the delicate art of pornographic poetry is not lost on you. hehe Cheers!

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Scandalised, really scandalised - I had so much fun reading these deeply penetrating and metaphysical poems! Great stuff(ing) really!

Love and peace


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 6 years ago from The Fatal Shore've got plenty of men in this hub Arthur. Nice poems.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey Tony,

Thanks for dropping by. I figured you'd find the deep truths in these. haha


Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey JB! Glad you liked 'em. You're the one breeze of womanhood in this Turkish spa of a hub. And you didn't let us know the relative cleanliness of your mind. Ah well.

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I'm fully aware that Freud had it figured out, Arthur!!

BTW - I just happened to have missed repressive religiously inspired sexual hangups growing up. But I prefer fresh fruit to greasy MacDonal's. Personal taste rules choices.

I like these. Subtlety is so much more effective & appealing than crudity! Thanks for the fun - & the honor (I think?_ ;-) I didn't live to this ripe age sans heart problems by being easily shocked! smooch!

Here's one of mine for you:

I can't define perfection,

But if a perfect

Human being

Is being

Perfectly human,

You are!

epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

I would not have thought of them as dirty - per se - until you put that thought into my mind (which is already open to breeding of this sort!) so on that note I will say you are a very clever psychologist!

CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 6 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

I have to ask Arthur - do you ever think of anything else? Was it all those years as a Catholic monk? Or is there something in the drinking water over in your neck of the woods? Unique Hub, as always - I'll get back to writing my one on '5 Ways to Fold a Tea Towel'!

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

haha sorry Nellie, I stereotyped you for your age. I should have known better and I apologize. Sadly, I did have some repression going on in my life during the formative years from 17 to 23, somewhere in between which I was a postulant monk at Pluscarden Abbey.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed my little poems!

And thanks for that very sweet one. I'll cherish it. It's the ultimate compliment. :)

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey e-man, that's absolutely right; I think most of us naturally assume poetry has noble intentions, when there has scarcely been a more lecherous crowd as the great poets. I'm here to right that wrong. haha

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey CM, hehehe that may be it. Maybe I'm making up for lost time. I was at the Abbey at the tender age of 19, the age when most young men are "getting laid". On the other hand, I'm probably just a pervert. hehehe Or let's call it "libidinous"; more polite.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

How wickedly perverse your mind is? lol you could have at least warned us of our fate when we entered this den of sexual stimulative prose. I had to go wash my face, I felt so dirty after this read. hah...damm your a good writer for a Canadian Eh...fellow Canuck. cheers. I rate it UP of course.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey saddlerider,

LOL congratulations on finding the depths of filth and depravity in these little poems! And thanks for the kind words.

Actually, not just a fellow Canuck, a fellow Quebecker. I'm from the Gaspe peninsula.


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

An ex-monk with a repressed libido.

Rasputin comes to mind, wonder if history would have been different if he had your sense of humor. enjoyed your hub.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

As I understand it, Rasputin could have used some repression. His whole philosophy was to indulge his sinful urges. Or maybe not. I dunno. Most of my knowledge of Rasputin comes from Boney M, I have to admit.

Glad you liked the poems. Cheers!

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

;-) Arthur. No apology needed. If you'd really stereotyped me, or done so accurately, you'd surely not even have addressed me, probably. You'd have just assumed I wouldn't hear or see it or that it wouldn't register. LOL. Glad you like that little poem.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

That's true, it was a tongue-in-cheek stereotyping. I stereotyped you in an ironic fashion. Very post-modern. haha

Jamiehousehusband profile image

Jamiehousehusband 6 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

No Wordsworth from our Windermere under favs? Maybe my mind is just not receptive enough to get overjoyed by poem 1 but 4, well that's good fantasy material from the bard. Enjoyed.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hi Jamie!

haha nope. Wordsworth is great, but not in my top favourites.

That makes sense. #1 is pretty kinky stuff. Not for the feint of heart. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I returned here to check out the beginning letters of that one poem. Most interesting, though it appears contrived to me, but possibly that's attributible to . . . .

You may just call me PM, then, AW. My raucous laughter broke the silence in my den over that one!

Will that reference apply to my realm(s) of art, architecture or literature or all? Inquiring mind needs to know!

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Yes, it does appear contrived. The remarkable thing is that it occurred totally by chance. I would have never even thought of ASSTWAT on my own. I'm a little more genteel than that hehe. There are two other acrostics in these poems, but the other two are intentional (SATWITHIT, RAWSWORD).

Is that the first time someone's called you post-modern? hehehe I think your poems show a freshness that escapes the anxiety of post-modernism. It seems to have affected your way of Being only. But I haven't seen your architectural accomplishments yet. I'll have to reserve judgment. ;)

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

haha. Well, wouldn't you just know it! It was RAWSWORD which caught my attention and I was just expecting one, so I didn't pursue it further. tsk tsk - much less thorough than my usual.

Yep - first time. But I've dodged labels and 'isms' as best I could. May be part of my iconoclasm. ('asms" are ok.) hehe

Actually it's a benefit of always being a square peg which has no assigned purpose or place. Before you know it, that becomes the purpose and place of your life! Some might call it a 'free spirit'. Anyway - more fun anyway, I say.

Thank you for the very nice complement. "Freshness" is much to be desired. And escaping anxiety is almost a religion with me.

My best architectural achievements are mostly somewhere in the ether, though I can claim a number of designs when I worked in that field. Plus I designed and helped build the cabin at the ranch. My George and I built it. So am not without credentials. Its most outstanding design feature is that it is much bigger on the inside than the outside - much like many ladies' shoes try to be. '-)

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Aha! I'm a sneaky one, my friend. hehehe

I take the opposite approach. I just hoard so many isms that they start to contradict one another. Same effect, really. It was Dali's approach. There's a funny clip of him on What's My Line? where he claims to do just about everything.

Nice to know you designed the TARDIS. When the Daleks invade, your cabin will be the first stop. hehe (These are Dr. Who references.)

Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

I must say I have absolutely no idea what you are poking fun at.

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Hey Randy,

You'll just have to ask someone with a dirty mind. ;)


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 6 years ago from home

Good HUb Mr. Juice-dog....

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago Author

Merci, Monsieur Hellert! Now sally forth: Tokyo awaits destruction.


Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

Good concept and well written poems. Never ignore a viking's battering ram.

Anaya M. Baker profile image

Anaya M. Baker 5 years ago from North Carolina

The idea is quite clever, and you pull it off brilliantly! I do have to say though, these are really good poems, and not just because of the funny conceit. You definitely have a gift for poetry, both the beautiful and the uh, oh never mind. I have no idea what you're talking about:)

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