Perfectly Choregraphed


He was locked up

in a small place,

but given his own space,

surrounded by mirrors,

so he could see his own face,

they tried to shake his composure,

a black and white photo of the dead girl

gave it an eerie exposure,

hoping he would confess,

giving the homicide unit

a position of strength, at best,

the black and white photo

was the ultimate test,

the experiment was

perfectly choreographed,

hit him right in the chest,

the emotions overwhelmed him,

and they would certainly last,

he started talking to himself,

loud and fast,

the horror would show,

then he started whispering,

mumbling very slow,

he was a child killer,

and that much he knew,

but what got to him,

was the dead girl’s face

in a sweeping view,

pink skin turned black and blue,

as he looked at his own reflections,

and shouted You! You! You!

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 35 comments

girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

How could you imagine, such a nice theme for the poem, amazing, the killer and reflection, voted up.


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Wow, Frank! This seems so real, chilling........ All your poems are so vivid, it's fascinating! Sad story..... Working for the Hartford Police Dept. by any chance? :)

Voting up and awesome....


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you giri for popping by and visiting my page and Lathing thank you for recognizing how real my poems are without flaggng them.. I work hard at keeping it close to reality as possible bless you :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Stunning, this piece! Chilling to the bone! Your words are so expressively vivid. Realy great writing here. Thanks for the goosebumps, but not the good kind. Ha. You should write thrillers, Frank. The imagery is perfect. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Valleypoet 4 years ago

You never imagine a brutal child killer having much of a conscience about their crime, but I suppose if a technique like this is used then if there is a conscience, it may reveal itself. Another high quality piece of crime poetry from the master of the art. Thank you Frank:-))


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

All child killers should have to spend a few years in a setting like this. Good job, Frank. Well written, but then, you already knew that. :)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

You create such vivid images with your words. Well written.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Faith :) and Valleypoet thank you as always for the visit and ttombs good to see you as always too and Rosemay50 and gang thanks for stopping by bless you all :)


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

This guy needs a needle. Joyce.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Frank

"the black and white photo

was the ultimate test,

the experiment was

perfectly choreographed,

hit him right in the chest,"

Voted up and awesome

Take care :)


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

All I can say is wow. Amazing Frank. Where do you come up with them? :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Joyce, Sue and caroline for stopping by my page :)


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

Heart pounding good, as is your way. I'm always reading your work and holding my breath for what is to come at the end. Awesome.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks cyndi10 and thanks for being with me from the start you are one of a tiny handful who has always been visiting my page from the start bless you :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Frank oh my I hope he goes crazy killing a child.. Your poems are so suspenseful. I love them.. i am working on a new woman for the crime fighter.. hopefully latter today..lol

debbie


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

You should write true crime, but then maybe you do. You get flagged? I thought I was the only one misunderstood! lol


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

who would flag you? your poems are so read and vivid and true.. I love them.. You are an awesome writer.. I still say you should write for Tv

love you

Debbie\


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much Our dear Ms Brooks aka Michelle for visiting my page good to see your prints here and Jackie oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood..:) bless you both


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

That to me is justice. Not being locked up but being consumed and haunted by your crime. Way to kick his a$$ in poetry Frank.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Frank, vivid as can be pal. Karma is a bitty. Awesome work as always. Up, awesome, and interesting Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you Moms-secret and I noticed you didn't want to spell out ass so you used the dollar signs.. or is that just expensive ass.. and you wanted nothing but the best for me in your comments? LOL and thelyricwriter thank you for popping by bro bless you guys :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

Lol, you are too funny Frank. :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you sweetie :)


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

well done, Frank!

You sure did a good job in this one...the scheme was interesting and the result was a success!

sharing it across!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Ruch :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Love, love these gritty writes!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Audrey and I love that you love them :) Frank


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Chilling and graphic..and he is right where he needs to be..thank you Frank for another vivid tale.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks sunnie for stopping by :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Amazing as always Frank and here's to so many more gems by you my dear friend

Enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks as always eddy and bless you :)


Vellur profile image

Vellur 2 years ago from Dubai

Spine chilling cold and what a way to write! Vivid and sharp images portrayed by your skill in poetry, voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for checking out my pages Vellur :)


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 24 months ago from Dallas, Texas

Your characters come to life in just a few lines. Nicely done.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 24 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you pegcole

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