PhD on "Facebook - The Real and Unreal"


For years I’ve been studying for my PhD

The topic: “ Facebook - The Real and Unreal”

I learned many things which I shall proceed to reveal

Some interesting revelations which will hopefully appeal


Firstly I must mention

The power behind the profile picture

That ideal view of our personal image

So easily manipulated to make us look richer


Then of course we update our "Status" daily

Those thought provoking messages which disclose our anxiety

And make friends think we’re clever or immature maybe

Or perhaps serve to keep our popularity from all but fading


Of course to offer some provocation

We hit “Poke” occasionally to liven the situation:-

“Hey, I’m thinking of you friend - just saying”

I believe it’s a cyberspace good ol’ fashion waving


Now I have a theory about the “Like” facility

Is that our way of acknowledging our friends ability

To choose a You Tube worth listening to

And hopefully have an element of surprise to boot?


What about all those clever photos of pets we see?

The ones about dogs are my favourite indeed

I adore canines so I favour them the most

And so it goes that I love any doggy post


Have you seen a John Doe who has fallen in love?

He is quick to post photos of himself from the past

When his body was toned and he sported dark hair

He begins to feel virile when he finds a lady who cares


As for Jane Doe the flirty femme fatale

She attracts many men from every Continent or Isle

There is no shortage of her kind who would stir the love pot

To each man caught in her web, she gives a personal time slot


Yes love and romance do abound

In this new global community I’ve found

Emotions are alive and wildly saturated

It’s all so easy when you’re cyber-infatuated


But alas, there can be some genuine affinity

People do hit it off with instant compatibility

Definitely Dylan Freaks just have an understanding

Between fans of the Master there is instant camaraderie


I will end my thesis with the most intriguing utility

The “Block” button available to all who lack sensitivity

If you don’t like what Mr Facebook Friend said in the chat box

You can make him simply disappear just as fast as a fox


Why has Facebook become the lifeline of many?

It’s because you can socialize without it costing a penny

You can sit in your humble room late at night in your pyjamas

And you can chat online with someone from the sunny Bahamas


Facebook friends are very special indeed

You can converse at all hours if you’re in need

There’s always someone there to fill the lonely gaps

Who’s not prejudiced about your status or circumstance


© Copyright Maria D'Alessandro 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 11 comments

epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....a brilliant, perceptive and satirical overview of Facebook as our best friend or perhaps our worst enemy. Certainly it may be a crutch or addiction to some and banal and superficial to others but you have said it all here Mighty Maria and so well too with both tongue in cheek and the hard biting sardonic truth. You have created a new mojo here and writer's persona with this one Miss M and have officially entered epi-man territory which is a compliment by the way because I am impressed and inspired as well - lake erie time 10:31am


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

In the Facebook world, Maria, I am a freak. I am, by nature/nurture, a loner. Facebook is a necessary part of the world today, yet I stay away as much as possible. I feel, strange as it sounds, naked to the world while traipsing like an interloper...like the ultimate voyeur. And, because I have reached out and joined up, though I am the visitor that avoids making a pest of myself, I have had the experience of writing a cathartic piece of poetry that, though the generosity and innocence of another, shared and exposed my thoughts with the very person I was venting about. Truth be told, he wouldn't get it. LOL Nonetheless, I tread lighting down those hallowed halls. You never know who's watching.

Very imaginative, funny, interesting thesis, Maria. Brilliant!


Sharon Smith Reid 4 years ago

Well said, Maria. Love your satirical description of FB. So funny, so true

So "spot on" delightful

Just like you!


Laurinzo Scott profile image

Laurinzo Scott 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

Incredibly honest , funny , and very real look at what this social media world has become. This is a very clear view of just how serious an addiction this cyber stuff can be. Of course I make these statements as I am prepared to get comfy... and do a couple hours of this myself. This new world can be very wonderful as well, and even if it is a little more fantasy than real...it gives some an outlet... if I keep finding incredible writers like yourself on the computer... will books someday become obsolete??? I pray not!!

Voted up...and verrrrry great read!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow Maria.. this is very good and so true.. I was just talking about this.. .. I agree with Laurinzo. it is a lot of fantansy.. we meet each other and the friends we make .. some more serious than others.. there are stalkers. .. and very mean people and some so wonderful.. and I hope and pray books do not fade out.. I love my bvooks.. voted up

and sharing my friend

Debbie


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Fantastic. You're right nothing like Facebook. I know I'd feel very sad if I couldn't get in touch with my friends or share things with them. Voted up and interesting.


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

@ Epi - well it's true. I have wandered away from my comfort zone somewhat with this poem. I tried to be funny but it will take a lot more practise to be as hilarious as you Colin. Wish me luck!


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

@ Amy - thanks for dropping by again and enjoying my fractured "thesis" LOL. Yes I think we all turn into voyeurs to some extent. It's so easy to do. Afterall, nobody will know and we can delight in discovering more about a person with each move (comment/post/photo) they make. LOLOLOL (Oh how I wish I had a life - ha ha ha)


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

@ Sharon - thanks for reading this - glad you enjoyed it.

@ Laurinzo - many thanks for your rave review. Facebook is what we make it and used responsibly, can be quite rewarding. I have met so many special friends online who have enriched my life. Somehow, just like in "real" life, we tend to attract people who are aligned to us and this opens many doors to very real friendships albeit from afar. I too have met wonderful fellow writers/poets and Dylan fans all over the world with whom I have spent many hours chatting with. Some Facebook friends I have known for up to 4 years. I guess I shall remain forever addicted so long as Facebook brings me joy and meaning.


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

@ Deborah - yes it's true, like all things, there is a good and a bad side. Oh how I love that BLOCK facility. If only we had that kind of option in our "real" life. Imagine zapping into oblivion all the undersirable people we know in our everyday life. Mwahahahah. Alas, we have to live with them both in our social life and at work and make the best of it.

@ Gypsy - So glad you dropped by again and I'm glad you get a lot of positives from Facebook. Let's enjoy this modern social network as best we can while we can.


BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Oh, how I love this thoughtful poem =) Very true, one 'magic' place where everything is possible =) I was always wondering where do people get so much time for facebook, it looks really time consuming to me. But then again to each it's own, like you said - pj's or not as long as the shoe fits...fun comes in different shapes and colors but let's not forget to separate the real from la-la-land, right?

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