Pigeons Pooping on People in the Park and Other Funny Poems and Limericks

Two Pigeon LImericks

I spent some time in London in the mid 70's. I both hated and grew fond of pigeons. Here are my two best works on the subject:

Limerick The First:

The Bird Lady’s fond of all pigeons.
So much that she’d start a religion.
She’d call, “Kitty-coo,”
From under the poo
Which weighed much on her final decision.


Limerick The Second:

Pigeons loved to bomb old Colonel Thistle.
The bombs even made sounds like whistles!
The Colonel, in fits,
Finally scared them to bits
By launching a heat seeking missile.


© 1976, 2009 by Daniel Carter. All rights reserved. Copying without permission is illegal and will be prosecuted.

One More Pigeon Poem

On the subject of London and pigeons, I wrote the following about 1977:

A pigeon (so I
discovered
while visiting
Trafalgar Square)
can walk only as fast as its
head
bobs.


© 1977, 2009 by Daniel Carter. All rights reserved. Copying without permission is illegal and will be prosecuted.

More Useless Poems from My High School Years

While in high school, I often wrote poems that were humorous, were a bit mind bending, or had a bit of a twist. Here are my favorites:

I.

Modest shadows

streak

quickly by me

hoping to find someone

to hide behind

where

light won’t see them.



II.

While quietly crunching through the snow,

I came across a lonely footprint.

Carefully,

I picked it up and examined

it.

Then,

I carefully placed it back where

I had previously found it.

I discovered the poor thing was dead.

Some one had

stepped

on

it.


III.

As I sit and think, I often wonder.

I usually think why I wonder

When

I’m wondering

or

What I’m thinking when I’m

wondering

about it.

Maybe I should stop

thinking.


IV.

I asked No One.

I was going to ask Some Body

but

what’s the point in asking

Some Body

if

No One is there?


© 1974, 2009 by Daniel Carter. All rights reserved. Copying without permission is illegal and will be prosecuted.

In Parting...

I like to "bend" our language to discover what we can really say with what seems like nonsense. Here are more examples of that.

But this is about all I have to say in this hub. My only purpose is to hopefully make you laugh. Though a cliché it may be, laughter is the best medicine to counter so many of life's ills. Thanks for reading!

More by this Author


Comments 24 comments

Anne Adams 7 years ago

My absolute favorite was the shadows poem. The pidgeon stuff was funny too; I liked the first one best.


grace bjarnson 7 years ago

Hey Dan, I really enjoyed the trafalgar square poem and II. They made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.


Joan 7 years ago

Hi Uncle Dan,

You are very talented and I think they should give you the Pulitizer Prize for poetry!


Tim Wilson 7 years ago

Dan, you are a man after my own heart......CUCKOO!


twig259 7 years ago

I remember that pigeon poem! You certainly have a way with words, which is why you write such good songs.


christy 7 years ago

Cool Poems, Dan,

Especially liked the pigeon poems!

Keep rhyming!

Christy


Penny Allen 7 years ago

Pigeon poop is only funny if it's on a stranger you don't have to wipe off or empathize with.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Very nice Daniel. Thoroughly enjoy the poems. Thanks for sharing.


Lindsey 7 years ago

Pure Genius Dan . LOL


MoM GjC :) 7 years ago

Oh Dan! These just made me laugh as I remembered all of them from 'the past'. I always especially giggled at The Footprint.


Hazel 7 years ago

I love the pigeon one . . it reminds me of my visit to England years ago. You really have a way with words! I hope you'll share some more!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Great poems! They are very clever. :D


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 7 years ago from Western US Author

Thanks everyone! I think bird poop is so extremely easy to relate to simply because I think we've all experienced a little in one form or another, and I like the idea of taking something really disgusting and making it humorous. And thanks for comments on the other poems as well. For me, the important thing is to laugh about some of life's oddities. And I have often forgotten to do that. This is a good reminder to laugh. 

And, thanks, Mom, for reading and sharing the memories of 30-odd years ago. [Smooches.]


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Very funny! Thoroughly enjoyed your poetry (and I'm not a poetry person lol) loved the limericks!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

Hehe...to think pigeons could inspire anyone to verse!


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 7 years ago from Western US Author

Thanks Enelle and Feline for your nice comments. When the muses strike, I like to write about it. However, poetry seems to belong mostly to my past life. Maybe it will awaken again at some point. Don't know yet. Regardless, thanks!


philip carey 61 7 years ago

Pigeons are here to remind us that our statues arent sacred.


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 7 years ago from Western US Author

LOL Very nice observation. Thanks for stopping by!


kirstenblog profile image

kirstenblog 6 years ago from London UK

Thanks for sharing! You are quite the poet. I love a short sweet poem that gets a giggle outa me :)

BTW did you know that it is illegal now to feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square?


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 6 years ago from Western US Author

So sad about not feeding the pigeons! But I suppose it has something to do with swarming the visitors! I actually saw that a couple of times. Strange!


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

Hello Daniel I liked your poems they are cute. I hate to say it but I got quite a bit of bird poop on my car right now, guess what I'm doing in the next couple days lol. Anyway, I shall be watching you Sr. Carter you are clever.


notquitecorso profile image

notquitecorso 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

I really like these. I and II in particular were just plain clever...good language. I'm envious of the mind-state you were in to perceive the world so uniquely...picking up a footprint...great...in my opinion just very unique voice. Great read! Those limericks were spot on as well, I would like to see you write more poetry...Are you still keeping with it?


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 6 years ago from Western US Author

Thanks for stopping by to read, notquitecorso. Also, thanks for the compliments! I haven't written much poetry lately. In fact, I've hit the wall, creatively, and am sort of being quiet till I know what I feel passionate about and want to really dive into something again. A time of big transitions for me.


Zach 5 years ago

Wow. Until now I thought I was the only one who wrote limericks about pigeons.

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