Pigeons. And Why They Make Great Pets

Pets. Life's Not The Same

Living in a city and a foreign country means I’m without my cat. However, I’m pragmatic by nature and put some thought into how to get round this issue. And it came to me … Lo’ as if by the Hand of Frog. Pigeons. Make perfect pets.

And I'm going to tell you why.

Pigeons As Pets

I happened upon this because ultimately I need a low maintenance pet. A no mess no fuss low cost beast. Something that wouldn’t require a lot of input. And wouldn’t have a horrible smoking habit

My answer arrived in the shape of two pigeons. A married couple. And yes – all pigeons are married couples. Single pigeons do occur but that’s not intentional. It’s only ever because they’re widowed. In case you were wondering.

Pigeon society is fully geared towards strong partnerships. No one gets left on the shelf. Everyone gets a free apartment. Free food. And the right to vote. It’s flocking brilliant.

Pigeonry in motion is a beautiful thing.

Pigeon. Mating. Stuff.

I did not take this ... picture. I'm not into this side of pigeon society. Honest. It's just an example of my first encounter with Madonna and You Bastard.
I did not take this ... picture. I'm not into this side of pigeon society. Honest. It's just an example of my first encounter with Madonna and You Bastard.

Pigeon. Porn.

Anyway – I digress. My pigeons. They landed on my sill one day. They drew my attention because they were engaged in lewd behaviour. He wanted her. She wanted him.

I was idly fascinated. I’d never admit to being fully fascinated because no doubt that points to some kind of deviant behaviour. And I’m a lot of things.

But I’m not into pigeon porn.

Flirting

A fine art. And usually there's an agenda. On BOTH sides.
A fine art. And usually there's an agenda. On BOTH sides.

Sex. Women. And Birds.

And so there they were. Flirting and flapping. Him all amorous. Her twice as much - but feigning innocence. It’s a wimmin thing guys. We want you. We don’t. We do. We don’t.

We do. We do. We do. Only we like to make you wonder.

It’s a girl/bird thing. Chicks. You know?

Pet Names

A very important business and to be undertaken with lots of serious thought. And always without cursing ...
A very important business and to be undertaken with lots of serious thought. And always without cursing ...

Pet Names. Always Appropriate.

It was right around this point that I named them. She suddenly decided to full on signal she was ready. And that’s when he chose to bugger off. I shouted 'you bastard' at him. And accused her of being too much of a primadonna.

I threw her a cheap consolation prize – though this didn’t have the desired effect. She didn’t want bread. She wanted … something else. She also looked hot and bothered so I thought I’d help her.

I popped the fan near the window and switched it on to cool her down. Unfortunately I blew her off the sill.

Oops ...

Pigeon Training

Yes. Mine are well trained. They crap near me and the get some smiting around the rump. They learned fast. One smite and they'd hooked up 'shit on the frog = pain'. Lots of pain.
Yes. Mine are well trained. They crap near me and the get some smiting around the rump. They learned fast. One smite and they'd hooked up 'shit on the frog = pain'. Lots of pain.

Madonna And YB

After a day or two Madonna and You Bastard returned. I think they’d got over their tiff. They whispered and giggled and he did some fine and fancy strutting. Life was – a little less peckish.

From this point, I developed an understanding twixt me and my pigeon pets. I fed them, they played nice – and only ever crapped on the Zombie/passing cars/everywhere else – and never around/by/on me.

Madonna. Number Two That Is

The Material Girl herself. Blessed with talent. Determination. And used to getting what she wants. Can't fault her.
The Material Girl herself. Blessed with talent. Determination. And used to getting what she wants. Can't fault her.

Pet Ownership

Having grown rather fond of them and because they are fully aware that I hold dominion (mentioned a time of two … I’m a benevolent Frog) we three [now] get along just fine. You Bastard understands that slapping his chick about isn’t cool and Madonna has learned that flashing her junk and being too demanding doesn’t get you anywhere fast.

Unless of course you’re the 2ndreal Madonna … not the mother of Big J guys – the modern day singer/songwriter/material girl.

 

Pet Inventory

And so, this brings me nicely to my inventory. Reasons why pigeons make great pets:

  • They’re part time pets. Kennels and catteries (or nice neighbours) not required at vacation time
  • They don’t pee on your plants or crap in the bathtub
  • They’re not choosy about what they eat. Kibble/ bread crumbs … they’ll take whatever you’re offering
  • They never sneak into your bed
  • Car
  • Or shopping bags
  • They’re self grooming
  • Make no attempt to assassinate anything smaller than they
  • And don’t chew the table legs
  • They don’t need flea powder
  • Wormers
  • Or expensive trips to the vet
  • They never hump your grannies leg
  • Sit under the table while you’re eating
  • Or drink from the toilet

Come to think of it ... pigeons have far higher standards/abilities than your average domestic pet. Cats notwithstanding. Cats aren't really pets are they? They're extra terrestrials in furry form. You didn't know that.

Did you? Another hub. Another day ...

No One Reported Ford. And This WAS Cruel.

Pet Peeves

And they absolutely never:

  • Lie
  • Steal
  • Sulk
  • Smoke
  • Or want to play scrabble

Yes guys. Pigeon pets rock. Grab yourself a one. Or two (they come in pairs … ) They’re abundant. They’re a whole lot of fun. And when you’re really bored of them and decide to stop taking care of them … or move … or change your mind and want a pet rock or something …

… You’ll find that no one reports you for cruelty to animals. In fact – no one will even notice/ show interest/ give a monkey’s.

Frog fact #66

Pigeon Poll

Frog. Amazing. About the pigeons. I mean you're ... well ...

See results without voting

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Comments 45 comments

Candie V profile image

Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Oh Lookie! I'm first! L.O.V.E.D. the video!! So you've found the perfect pets! I'm so happy for you I could burst! Not everyone sees the potential in these humble creatures, but YOU did! You've already established yourself as a trend setter, here you go, taking another giant frog-leap forward!


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Candie - pick a pigeon. Seriously great part-time pets :) I almost love mine. I'm getting kind of fond of Madonna. She's so cute a silly.

And yes. Trendsetting. Or maybe we should rename that frogsetting ;)

Actually Candie - they're incredibley intelligent. More than most realise and usually just written off as sky-rats!


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds

Now I find rats to be quite intelligent. As a matter of fact, they are my preferred pet. Have them ride on your shoulder or hide them in a deep pocket. Ratty Roo is my favorite pet! (I am also partial to frogs, but realize they are meant to be wild and not to be kept as pets)


Janetta 7 years ago

haha!! Pigeon porn--Madonna and You Bastard--'Big J' HAHAAHAHA love it! your choices in pets always amuses me. Haven't you ever thought of a goldfish???


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

FD, there's been an ominous silence on the Kevin front lately...whatever happened to him? And can pigeons really take his place? :P


Jaspal profile image

Jaspal 7 years ago from New Delhi, India

Great hub! Makes a lot of horse ... err, frog sense. Reminds me of a couple of squirrels who became pets in a fairly similar manner.

The squirrels were even better in that they did not keep hanging around on the window sill - or the balcony, in their case. But any time I ventured out on to it, they'd come scurrying from the trees in the garden to meet and greet; and they'd just love eating out of one's hands once the trust had been established.

After a bit of fooling around and providing some entertainment they'd disappear and leave a guy to his own Madonna# 2 or 3 or whoever ... but then frogdroppings might not pursue such interests! :p


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Paper - I rather like rats and me and my kids have owned four in the past. Three girls and one boy. The boy was great. Lived in one of my sons' beds. Reasons known only to my son and his rat.

Janetta - I've had many a fish over the years. But due to my Bengals ... it was cruel. They just became cat TV. Usually died of shock from being stared at constantly ...

Feline - Kevin is alive and well. Buggering about and about due his Dinner. Never fear, he's not far away. Unfortunately.

Jaspal - good day to you :) Yes frogsense is the key to life. The universe. And something.

And I like squirrels. Spent three winters feeding one. Lovely semi-tame little thing she was.


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Paper - I rather like rats and me and my kids have owned four in the past. Three girls and one boy. The boy was great. Lived in one of my sons' beds. Reasons known only to my son and his rat.

Janetta - I've had many a fish over the years. But due to my Bengals ... it was cruel. They just became cat TV. Usually died of shock from being stared at constantly ...

Feline - Kevin is alive and well. Buggering about and about due his Dinner. Never fear, he's not far away. Unfortunately.

Jaspal - good day to you :) Yes frogsense is the key to life. The universe. And something.

And I like squirrels. Spent three winters feeding one. Lovely semi-tame little thing she was.


bala99 profile image

bala99 7 years ago from Hyderabad, Telangana, India.

And I thought they were useful only to send clandestine love letters and war communiques. I enjoyed the Hub.


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

bala - ahhhh but there's a lot more to pigeons that carrying clandestine messages. Trust me - I watch Madonna and You Bastard enough to know that ;)

And thankyou :)


Jerilee Wei profile image

Jerilee Wei 7 years ago from United States

Delightful and entertaining hub, even if some people still refer to pigeons as "rats on wings."


ethel smith profile image

ethel smith 7 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

And then in the end you can eat them. Tried pigeon pie ?


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Jerilee - ah yes. Skyrats. A bit undeserved and all that but you know - sticks and stones ... And thankyou :)

ethel - hey :) Errr lol nope. Can't see me eating either Madonna or YB. They look a bit stringy for one. Besides, I can't eat anything that I feel fond about.

Otherwise I'd have eaten the Dragon a long time ago ...


Sharing Insight profile image

Sharing Insight 7 years ago

I'm so glad I came across this great hub! Made me laugh repeatedly-love the visuals and pigeon porn bit :)

Thanks!


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Sharing - hey :) Nice to see you ... and great! I aim to please. And other various happy type stuff ...


Sharing Insight profile image

Sharing Insight 7 years ago

Well you certainly do, and nice to see you too. I look forward to reading more of your hubs, even more so if its happy type stuff :)


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Sharing - trust me on this - I'm full of useless information and happy crap :) If it's attached to the Book Of Frog ...


Army Infantry Mom profile image

Army Infantry Mom 7 years ago

When I lived in Las Vegas I worked at an Animal Hospital and one local brought in 3 baby pigons that had fallen out of the nest and was deserted by the momma. I worked the midnight shift and was told they had to be fed every 2 - 3 hours or they would die. I did just that and in the morning I left. When I came back later that night their was only 1 left. I asked what happened. The head vet said they just didn't have time to feed them so I decided I'd take the surviving one home with me. It was an ugly little thing but me and the family took turns ins feeding it every 2 hours around the clock for 2 weeks. It grew and grew. Finally when it was about 4 weeks old I took it outside hoping "Tweekers" would fly away and live happily ever after. Well about 15 minutes later we heard peaking at the door. I opened it and in walked Tweekers. He refused to leave, we were his family I guess. He was an awesome pet. However we decided to move back home to michigan and we couldn't take him so I placed him in a pigon resort. We all miss him very much. He was the kewlest pet and we even had him potty trained.


AsherKade profile image

AsherKade 7 years ago from Texas

having a pigeon for pet reminds me of what my autistic son would do. He is quite odd but very intelligent.


lrohner profile image

lrohner 7 years ago from USA

Pigeon porn? LOL

Froggy, you and your hubs never cease to amaze, delight and surprise me!


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

AIM - that's a fab story! How great you saved one of the three! Maybe you could write a hub about Tweekers. Not many folks would have devoted the time or care to an abandoned pigeon. Kudos to you and yours. An animal's an animal when it's in need :)

Asher - I've both known and worked with autistic kids. Lovely kids. And yes, intelligent too. Unfortunately just locked up. I hope you and your son have a great life together Asher :)

Irohner - that has to be the comment of the day. Thankyou very much. I surprise myself sometimes. With the amount of crap I can come up with. Entirely natural too ...


Ashley Joy profile image

Ashley Joy 7 years ago

Wow, I will never look at the pigeons of the world the same. Very creative story, it makes for an entertaining hub.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

ohhhhhhh I want one FD, never thought of it before xox


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Ashely - go go go ... get a pigeon lol! Cheap, free and readily available ;)

blonde ... almost as good as my pet rock. Honest ...


shibashake profile image

shibashake 7 years ago

Pigeon porn is against Google AdSense policies. I hope you know that. YB just reported you. I think he is still pissed that you called him YB. His *real name* is Max.


Am I dead, yet? 7 years ago

-ahem- and Kevin doesn't mind the umm, pigeons hanging around your house?


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Shiba - it is huh? Well I wasn't graphic. No nude pictures or videos ... and that's his real name? Who gave you the inside info ...

AIDY - hey :) He doesn't care. He 'knows' he's number one. He says ...


shibashake profile image

shibashake 7 years ago

"... and that's his real name? Who gave you the inside info ... "

It is a pigeon secret. Most of them are called Max. They are pissed that we co-opted their favorite name for our dogs. They tell me that they don't like dogs much - except for me of course :) I let them bathe in my drinking water.

And no nudes? I could have sworn those pigeons did not have a stitch of clothing on them. :D


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Shiba - someones messing with your mind. probably the pigeons ... it's a very secret society you see.

Andd you're not a dog. You're a dog-owner. Bit of a difference ...

lol


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very nice hub lot of good info


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Lgali - and all true. Mostly. Some. None ;)


swathin2 profile image

swathin2 7 years ago

i love a pigeon and i have two with me and your hub might make me to own more than what i have


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

swathin - hey again :) They are (in my opinion) a bit cheeky and a lot of fun. I was out feeding some yesterday - they were landing on my hands and taking bread from my fingers. Loads of fun!


stars439 profile image

stars439 7 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

great article


Pacal Votan 7 years ago

Frog, it seems you've had an assortment of pets over the years. The hubs seem to come from a vast amount of life experience. :) If it wasn't you I'd ask how many people had worked on this story before it assumed its final form, but because it's you I just say,

A phenomenal hub as always. :)


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Ah lol I am taking your comment as a feedback. And not as a slight assumption that I may have a personality disorder. Like - maybe there's three people residing in one frog kind of thing :)

Thankyou Pacal, as always - FD


Pacal Votan 7 years ago

lol frog, no personality disorder I can detect. :) I was thinking of professional stand-up comedians whose stuff is written for them by a team.


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Ahhhhh lol. I think I'm a mobile comedy show. You'd laugh at some of the incredibly dumb stuff that falls out of my mouth. The type of thing that has people sat there saying 'whut?!'. I must tell you sometime about some of the really stupid things I've come out with :)


Erica K Wisner profile image

Erica K Wisner 7 years ago from Oregon

Absolutely delightful to read your post aloud - Ernie and I needed a good laugh!

I'm recommending it to my auntie who's in the hospital for ankle reconstruction, but not the friend recovering from abdominal surgery. ;-)

Look forward to reading more of your posts, and thanks for the ray of sunshine.


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago Author

Erica - what a lovely comment, thankyou --- I hope your aunt and friend regain their health as per their doctors orders :)


nursegrace profile image

nursegrace 6 years ago

very entertaining and insightful!


chinemeremz profile image

chinemeremz 6 years ago

Hi froggie I wonder how an aquatic being like you can take of aerial creatures as intelligent as pigeons(lol). I used to own lots of pigeons back in the day precisely 37, odd cos one was yet to find a partner. Like you rightly said I've never seen any creature as intelligent and friendly as pigeons. The general motto in the pigeon community is "live and let live" because every one of them old or young are treated as equals when issues like feeding come up. One other thing I find fascinating is the manner in which the adult feed their young, the speed at which the young develop into adults is something of note. Once more Frog, thanks for finding the time to write this. Hope to read more of your froggie stories in the days ahead. I think it is time you returned to the water, have you forgotten you are Amphibian?


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana

I read this and ran out and got some pigeons right away! The pigeons made sense. The pigeons made my day. The pigeons made great soup.

I felt a little bad about the soup thing, until I realized something; these guys obviously were NOT pigeons. They kept trying to play Scrabble with me.

Thanks for the great info. I'll try again on the pigeon thing. I promise no more soup- it was stringy anyway.


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest

Wow, my cat better look out. Pigeons are looking more appealing after reading your hub. I'd say my cat is on notice...I saw a pigeon in the tree outside my house just the other day. One more misstep from my cat, and I might go out there with a bag of breadcrumbs and a benevolent expression on my face. I'm becoming aware of just how much my cat's bad habits are encroaching on my pursuit of happiness. Her smoking, hogging the remote, and refusal to share any of the household chores. Yep, getting pretty old.


ray 5 years ago

i raise pigeons they are a lot of fun to watch and you get lost looking at them fly all staying in one big group ive got about 70 and am trying to get more

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