Poem - Always The Rain

Silent sorrow
Judged by a purist
Guilt declared
An unrepentant jurist
Unable to breathe
Refusing to stand
Face in the tub
Ignoring the hand
Suffering's choice
Pain or pain?
Eclipse or night?
Always the rain

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Comments 32 comments

Pachuca213 6 years ago

so sad..I know what its like to be judged. It sucks.


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Pachuca... it does suck; especially when what they judge is your reaction to their provocation... they slap you and then judge you when you failed to turn the other cheek...


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

so true, and all in all, it is themselves they pit this judgment on without knowing it. Their pain is so that they must throw some of it outward to anyone they find in front of them. To know this is to be one step ahead and not be ill effected by their judgment, for it is they who are ignorant of these facts of life and that my dear is the funny part to all this. Voted up my dear and I did tap dance on them buttons also. :D aloha - hugs :D


scriber1 6 years ago

You said: "Eclipse or night" -- expressing the quintessential quest for understanding for those who, in turn, eventually understand there are no answers; merely better understandings of the questions. Thus the path you're on; thus the words you've written.


"Quill" 6 years ago

Well written and filled with wisdom...

Blessings


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Sa'ge,

Thank you very much for the "tap dance." I'm no saint. But I'm not the devil either and at times I've been made to feel less than worthy. I'm sure we all have felt that from someone...

Mahalo...


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

scribert,

Yeah I guess at times it's easer to ask questions... at least you feel engaged even though the game is about living without answers... hmmmmm.... new poem?


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Quill,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate your time... blessings to you too...


Joe L. Allen  6 years ago

Judge me not for the depths that I had fallen to

but for the distance that I have risen to

Again you've managed to say in words what few of us have heard


CheyenneAutumn profile image

CheyenneAutumn 6 years ago

Battlescars of past judgements, leaving brittle scars. Until, we become our own judge, jury and captor.

Very deep thoughs in just a few lines. Great work Poet.

I really like this.

Hugs


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks Joe... that is a great way to look at life... we all fall.. how do we respond? And do we allow others to climb back up or is it convenient to keep them down?


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Cheyenne,

There is a fine line between not caring and being too sensitive. I want to do things that others approve but not for their sake; just for goodness sake (to borrow from the Christmas song). We should forgive and understand others and hope for the same in return.


scriber1 6 years ago

Indeed, it is SP


Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

One of the best poem titles I've heard in a while. A tasty little morsel of poetry. Nice job.


vrbmft profile image

vrbmft 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

Your poem is one of those I read and reread outloud and each time experience a different "tune" but all characterized by sorrow and tears, the rain. I tell folks that when you feel guilty, go inside that courtroom in her head, stand up, raise your hand, and say "Your Honor, Guilty as charged." BUT then, get the hell out of the courtroom, FAST. Do not hang around for the sentence!! It is only necessary to plead guilty WHEN I am guilty. No one has the right, so to speak, to hand down a sentence because ultimately we are all guilty!! If of nothing else, guilty of being judgmental. I have a friend who died in childbirth--obviously, she was revived, but she tells us that she literally went to hell when she died. And when she asked God why she was there, God said it was because she was so judgemental. I find that a fascinating story, and I don't even believe in hell. But it makes the point about being judgmental! And just in case there is a hell, I'm shaping up as far as being non judgemental!! It's kind of ridiculous because as someone in the comments noted, we only judge what we know about ourselves, anyway!!

Thanks for a lasting poem

Vern


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Doug... I appreciate that... this thing was very quick in making. A sketch of sorts that was done almost before I started...


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Vern,

Why do so many people judge? It's a curious phenomenon. We know we shouldn't but still we do. I wrote a piece called "An Interview With Jesus" and the first question was "why do I carry a hammer and a nail." The answer I came up with was "because you only know how to cause pain." Why?

Great story you posted there about judgment and hell. It's an effective illustration...


maven101 profile image

maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

I liked this poem's flow and structure...Excellent discipline with only one adjective ( unrepentant ), and concise , three word declarations...like short, quick jabs, then closing with the haymaker ending...very well done..

Marines consider pain as weakness leaving the body...Take care, my friend...Larry


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Maven,

Well I have to say thanks to you because if there is anybody around here who is willing to tell me I'm full of crap it's you; so words of praise are indeed welcome. Not that I'm wanting anybody else to jump on your tough love band wagon! ha.... I appreciate the analysis. I'm going to have to take a closer look at the style of adjective free (or minimal use) to see if there is a secret there that I can tap.

I've heard that description of pain being weakness leaving the body and I think it's true because we do learn to be tougher after a trying experience. You never look forward to pain but you can learn from it and minimize it's effects on your life.

Thanks again...


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 6 years ago

Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of lines to express our thoughts...well done!


Pachuca213 6 years ago

in response to your response....exactly! I had to deal with two self righteous hubbers judging me the other day just because I didn't agree to their hypocritical opinions and they literally slandered and made defamatory comments about me on here. It was very hurtful...I understand your poem all too well.


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks b.,

I want to write shorter pieces. I think they are always well-received and there is an art to it... it's a challenge that I want to take on...


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Pachuca,

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. What's the point of being negative to people? We are just telling our stories and giving opinions. There is no reason to become angry and hateful. I have my opinions and I'm not above an argument that's for sure but I don't like when strangers get so brave on the internet and talk in a way they would never do to your face... and over what? It's ridiculous... F 'em...


Pachuca213 6 years ago

Thank you~ :)


scriber1 6 years ago

SP.....regarding your last comment to Patricia, there's a much larger problem than mere individual annoyance at reactionary behavior. You've already read it, but I encourage everyone to read my hub Citizen Journalist Demagogues.


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Ok... I'll check it out.... I have to travel today but I'll see if I have time... thanks


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

This is the best poem you have published so far and I like it for many different reasons; it is mature, it answeres more questions than what it asks, it brings depth and enlightement into the doubt of "eclipse or night".

Very well done and I really hope you will keep this path open for yourself and for us.


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Petra and I take that as a very high complement. I think the path is open but I seem to have a somewhat varied mind as to what I choose and how it is expressed. This particular poem was so simple at the time and I don't know why it happened. I cannot pre-determine what will happen but I hope I can receive the signal, so to speak from where this one came... thank you for reading and commenting...


Docmo profile image

Docmo 6 years ago from UK

Beautiful words, few lines that capture a lot of depth. ' Eclipse or night? Always the rain' - brilliant!


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Docmo... the fewer the better sometimes... other times it's good to linger and spend time with the words...


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 6 years ago from Maryland

Beautiful piece, I've always had a problem with those who seem so willing and feel righteous in their ability to judge others. Mother Teresa said, "If you judge another person, you have no time to love them", or something close to that...that's closer to my line of thinking. Of course in extreme situations, there are clear rights and wrongs, but in society, I feel of the scene you write about. Sorry, I got carried away with my thoughts and your words....voted up and beautiful. always a pleasure to visit!


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The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Erin... there is no need to apologize for a long commnet. Others have written beautiful comments on my hubs that became hubs of their own. If you have something to say then say it. I invite you to explore things and if it leads you somewhere then it makes me happy too.. you know?

As for judging others it is a tricky subject. Society has a need to judge in order to stave off anarchy and to protect the weak. But we as individuals are confronted with the question of to forgive or not on a daily basis. It is the intelligent mind that can discern between a small slight and something that is truly hurtful to the greater good of society. In the end we should clean up our own mess then we can effectively shine a light on how life can be.

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