Poem - Drive-in Zen

Poem - Drive-in Zen

This one involved a high-speed blow-out, a great hamburger at closing time and a one-liner written on a wall...

Numb mind stupor
Time drift imagery
Bursting trouble
Side road scenery

Invisible aroma allure
Sizzle ice cream zoom
Torn booth corner
Nostalgia in the room

Tarnished board dead paint
Scribble wall pen point
Hieroglyphic alphabet soup
Kinda Hoople juke joint

Less McDonalds
More Dali Lama
Apocolyptic verse
Instant Karma

Rough boy hair everywhere
Prank secret revealed
Smiling lamenting
Concerns all too concealed

Vacant legend pavement
Empty room ambience
Goodbye noise disrupts
Mop broom dirt dance

Less Starbucks
More Ghandhi Jee
Truth dawning
Future prophecy

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Comments 11 comments

scriber1 6 years ago

Now that's poetry....:>)


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Well alright then! After our little discussion about what is and what isn't I truly appreciate your comment because I know you tell it like it is... thank you Scribert....


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

I like this.

Very stream-of-consciousness Bohemian. I heard a thrumming stand up bass in the backgrould. I want to snap my fingers in applause and sip a sweet expresso.

I dig it.

CP


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks Christopher... this is the child of the South Austin vibe....


amorea13 6 years ago

Hi Suburban Poet - super poem - sharp imagery and some really great lines - loved it - thanks for helping me get to your words. I'm off to read some more - keep fashioning the literary jewels.


maven101 profile image

maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

Could this be the long lost verse of Houston Haiku..?

The rhythm move along with flickering images...like an old hand-wound movie camera...punctuation snappy and trim...satisfaction guaranteed.. Thanks for the verbal blast...Thumbs up...Larry


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you both amorea and maven... a greasy spoon with Ian Hunter singing All The Young Dudes from an old jukebox and your local poet became inspired. You can't plan for these moments. I like to say inspiration has it's own schedule and the secret is being ready when the moment strikes... carry a pen and paper or grab a napkin and begin the verbal harmonies....


burning bush profile image

burning bush 6 years ago

I like.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Dear burning bush,

I laughed.

Sincerely,

The Suburban Poet


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

I go back and forth as to whether it is necessary to write an explanation of verse. While I would love people to get the point I would hate for there to be only one point to be made and in the course of writing I tend to like to insinuate one or two more. I like the stream line language here.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Jaggedfrost... I hear you... Maybe your right. The mystery and retaining the ability for it to mean different things for different people is important.

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