Poem - Reality Is Not A Dream

This is not a message. It is about the inner doubts of a man who feels he can only disappoint and will never be the answer to anyone's dreams....

I took another wistful drag
Thinking, "That's some dirty shit"
I don't know why I do it
As soon as I light one up
I'm already lookin' to quit

Expectation and anticipation is all I have
But what's real is no dream
I build it up in my mind
Knowing how it's going to be
But an imagined ocean is only life's stream

Making some money presses upon my mind
I say something intelligent every now and then
But there is no challenge
There is no thrill
In a situation where I've already been

I think about sex all the time
It's the only thing that I can see
Letting myself go
Her nails piercing my skin
It's the only dream that becomes reality

I can't spend my whole life in orgasmic fury
Pleasuring my girl until she screams
I have to find something
Anything in my life
But I am a man of extremes

I'm exactly what every girl suspects
A charming rogue impatient with spark and court
Why are they interested
In a pathetic freedom rider?
They know I'm not really their sort

Can I be someone's lover?
I'm beginning to wonder about that
What will we do today?
What's wrong with you?
They question where my mind is at

Well let me tell you something about it
It's not here that's for sure
As you stand before me
I am merely an image
It seems I only make you feel insecure

All I can say right now
Is there is pain with no end
A wanderer cannot rest
Or learn to be content
I know I can never pretend

Let's talk honestly about life
You know I love you
But can you love a rock
Drifting towards an unseen sea?
Because soon I will fade from view

Someday on your door I may knock
Wondering if my dream is alone
I have agreed to suffer
In return for my own life
But can an unworthy man approach your throne?

Walking away burdened by regret
I know I've made a mistake
But is that really true?
I received what I asked
Instead of giving it seems I can only take

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Comments 23 comments

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 6 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I can't speak to love. But you are going to make some publisher happy.

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Wooded 6 years ago

Beautiful poem. Thanks

Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 6 years ago from Virginia

excellent poem...very well written....I am impressed...voted up

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

A verse marked with honest insight and regret...whatever will be will be. Thanks for sharing. WB

Genna East profile image

Genna East 6 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

"But can you love a rock

Drifting towards an unseen sea?"

Beautifully done!

always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is very beautiful, yet, sad. Thank you.

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Hello, Mark! 'you in there??

It's a painfully honest work - and for that it is beautiful. Surely it expresses much that many people feel and lack words to express.

I'm sitting here thinking: OK, - he's holding a medium sized pebble up in front of his eyes. It has blocked out most of the sunlight and all the moonlight. But if he just stretches out his arm, it will not block his view at all, though it will be a slight interference with his grip so long as he clutches it there. But if he pitches it back on the ground where it belongs, he will step over it without even feeling its shape or size and his hand will be free to catch the stars and the joy of life. Yeah, yeah, Nellieanna, - but then who will write these heartrending verses?? :-)

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Everyone - I have my hand in a cast so I cannot type a message to each of you but thank you for your kind remarks. This is about my inner-self which I bring to you as honestly as I can. I am joyful but I feel it would be difficult for a woman to build her life around me... that is what I am trying to say as honrstly as I can. I can fall in love but my attention span is sporadic....

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

That is certainly heroic and respectable, and it is a bit sad. But it's guys who lead women to expect faithfulness who are neither heroic or respectable, and - vice versa.

If you are joyful, that is good. Life is too short to be stuck in remorse.

Sorry to hear about your hand.

Joshua Kell profile image

Joshua Kell 6 years ago from Arizona

Can't say I don't know what you mean. Just quit smoking also... Thanx. Brilliant!

drdspervez profile image

drdspervez 6 years ago from Pakistan

It's a nice poem . :)


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Nellieanna - thank you. I'm just trying to be brutally honest. But I can be faithful to the right woman....

@Joshua - thank you for the very kind remark. The smoking is rare... mainly stress induced.

@drdsperez - thank you!

acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Your work gets better and better as far as I can see. This poem is excellent. I hope your arm heals soon it must be very frustrating especially as a writer.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Acaetnna - thank you. I think I'm becoming more open and that level of honesty helps. I truly appreciate your praise.

And it is DAMN frustrating to have a broken finger as a writer!!!!

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shygirl2 5 years ago

Hmm...you open the eyes of a lot of women, about so many men like you. Yes, we can get swept up in the moment. Like the rock, being held in your hand. It is when we are let go that sometimes we fall hard. A heart is fragile, and sometimes when a man feels only the need to be close physically, but not there emotionally they can get hurt as well. Thanks for sharing this side of your journey with us. (I can imagine how frustrating it would be having a broken finger too). It often does pay to be honest though...so others are not left with no greater expectations. : )

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@shygirl - thank you for commenting. If there is anything good about aging it's the knowledge one gains about who they really are. I am not afraid to be lonely if it means I am not hurting anyone. I feel I can be a good companion but I'm not the type to be always thinking of anothers world. Maybe that's just another way to describe selfishness. I love beautiful women but they must be independent with their own goals that are not wholly dependent on my presence to reach fruition. I'm not here to change anyone and I only ask the same in return... not to be a jerk but to be as close to what I am as possible... and if you can enjoy or appreciate who it is that I am then you will help me blossom and in return you will see my smile and my approval for who you are...

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

"It is about the inner doubts of a man who feels he can only disappoint and will never be the answer to anyone's dreams" -did you write that or did I? Very nice!

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Micky - Ha.. I figured their would be a few who could relate to that...

arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Wow! I will not accuse you of being hard on yourself for honest men must look hard within themselves. I will tell you that for myself, I let go of this long ago under this banner. Love isn't the thing I feel, it's the thing I do. Consequently, I began to feel what it was "I do" Personally I think we are always at war within, selfishness battleing the perpetual want of selflessness. It isn't a battle we win. It 's a battle we refuse surrender too. I wish you well in yours. Beautiful write.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Arb - thank you for your positive comments. My whole thing here is to let you know what I'm thinking. I'm not holding much back so it's a sinster as it gets. It's more a moment of doubt or maybe even quiet resignation of my current state of affairs but it's not a cry for help. I'm still smiling but I'm a seasoned guy who is in a transition period.

arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Then I wish you well during transition. They usually leave us better than they found us. Be well, suburban poet.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks Arb.... every experience should make us stronger ev3en if it was a "losing" effort...

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buzzsaw88 4 years ago

people seem to like your poems, im new to this site and writing maybe when you get a chance you can look at my poem (false imagery) its called

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