Poem: The Pawn of your Guilt

This is a short poem that I feel says a lot. It is inspired by the fact that people will always forget the good things you do, the sacrifices you make, or the life long efforts that one invests, but they will always remember your faults, mistakes, errors and moments of weakness forever, like some cursed nightmare held over us that we can never escape from! It is hard enough for ones self not forget the pain and shame.

Here I am alone with my mum, hard to watch what I've become.

Lost so much in my life that's cursed, my childhood innocence, stolen, what's worse?

I am the scapegoat, the reason, excuse,
for others to be what they secretly choose.

I am not perfect, though all of my faults,
mistakes and discretions like wounds rubbed in salt.

All of my good deeds, all done without praise,
are all but forgotten, so quickly erased.

I wrote this poem a while back, but it seems so relevant so often in my life, especially now, at a time when life just seems too hard.

If you understand it's inspiration and have felt it's painful 'truth', and often as I do, then I am sorry for you and hope you know you are not alone in it's infliction.

More by this Author


Comments 10 comments

sarcasticool profile image

sarcasticool 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Yes that is indeed true. Thanks for your recent comments. Hope you are keeping well:)


iva dragostinova profile image

iva dragostinova 4 years ago from Brighton, UK

I too agree that simply thinking positively does not conjure physical or other matter. It can only help our perception and carry us through. Although sometimes it is the deep end or the truly downward spirals that take us to new and ever growing strengths. My poetry is also seldom uplifting; Poetry is inner and deep, whatever that may be at any given moment. :)


sarcasticool profile image

sarcasticool 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Yes that's true. Thank you very much.


sharonzuniga profile image

sharonzuniga 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

It's ok, I understand. I'm glad you already know about it. The important thing is to keep searching for the answers that will satisfy your soul. You will find your own way, at your own place and time. We all travel in different directions, at different speeds, and we all find answers to things in different ways, right?

In the end, we are all part of the same planet, energy and universe.

I wish you all the strength you need to go through these challenges :-)


sarcasticool profile image

sarcasticool 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Thanks for your kind words, but I have studied the philosophy of the 'secret' and have found it has no basis in reality. 'The law of Attraction' and the idea that "thoughts become things" are not really as unique to Rhonda Byrne's book as some may think.

The Unity School of Christianity,founded by Charles Fillmore talked about "The Twelve Powers of Man" had a similar theory, Norman Vincent Peale had "The Power of Positive Thinking", while Deepak Chopra introduced us to "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success." and the idea of 'mind over matter' and that we are all connected by one energy that can be vibrationally attuned is not a new belief. Being positive I believe can help us in life, but I don't believe we can obtain anything physically, rearrange matter on a sub-atomic level, obtain prosperity or influence our futures or those of others by our thoughts, or mind set. I do believe we can change the way we perceive things, though it doesn't change the state of those things. I am glad however that you have found those things useful in your life and wish you all the best with that.


sharonzuniga profile image

sharonzuniga 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the earthquakes. I grew up in Costa Rica, and I had to experience plenty of earthquakes myself. I hope they will stop soon.

Believe it or not, I don't think it is a coincidence I found your hub. I can identify with a lot of the things you write and express, because I have been there myself.

Some circumstances we cannot change for sure :-( and we get stuck in a deep dark hole. The only thing that can really make a difference is to change the way we perceive and handle things.

Here is a link with the summary of the Law of Attraction. It is a concept that has helped me a lot. There is much more to it than what this video shows. If you can get the movie or the book, that would be great. They have the movie on Netflix if you have access to that. It really helps.

The Secret

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MulLAfffQoQ

There are many other things that have been helping me. I'll write a hub with links as soon as I can.

You have the strength withing you, you are light:-), and your light can brighten the lives of your loved ones in these difficult times. Big hugs from far away for all of you.


sarcasticool profile image

sarcasticool 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

The weather is not great now as we are moving out of summer and into autumn. Unfortunately no amount of positive thinking can change the circumstances around us or that are constantly inflicted on us. These earthquakes won't stop, the damage is still happening, my children are sad, my mother's dementia is just so bad now, my loneliness is more evident to me, I fret for the one I love and I am finding more comfort in my darkness, it's safety that I was wrapped in long ago before I decided to feel again, and love, love that hurts me. Some people find the light and it warms them, they see clearly in the light than in the darkness. I have hidden in darkness because I do not like what the light reveals. The world is full of people who lie, deceive, and pretend. I like this world less each day, I hate being part of it, yet I am needed by everyone in my life, but being needed is not the same as being "wanted". Thank you for your comments, but some people are too broken to be fixed :(


sharonzuniga profile image

sharonzuniga 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

Hi, how's the weather in New Zealand? It's been a little crazy in Charlotte.

Love the poem. Unfortunately, people tend to remember the negative things more than the positive. I think we have been trained by many social systems and believes to do that. There have been very hard and dark times in my life as well. However, I have been fortunate to learn about how to get out of that cycle an enter a new cycle where positive thinking, balanced energies, love and compassion can make a difference not only in our lives, but also in the lives of others, the environment and the world. "People may forget our good deeds, and that's okay. Every good thing we create or do will help our souls grow, evolve, and find enlightenment. Every light we turn on will help to see more and more until there is no darkness. Every challenge we encounter will help us understand something we need learn, or something that will be useful to help others." -SNZR/2-2012


sarcasticool profile image

sarcasticool 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Thanks. I must be perfect then because I am nobody. Poetry is my life right now, though not much of it is very happy,uplifting material, but I can only write about my own experiences of life which have not been "rainbows or butterflies" but more "tainted shades of darkness".


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

Hey I feel your pain, great poem. We all soon learn that nobody is perfect .

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working