Poetry: You and I

I had composed this poem in 2000. The Nepali translation was published in a poetry collection titled “You and I” in 2000. I studied poetry in my English class but I knew nothing about poetry. Actually I did not read poetry until I published a poetry collection. I’m still learning the craft of poetry but I see myself as a storyteller. Most of my poems are narrative, because I love to tell a story in a poetic form.

Untitled by Kiran Manandhar
Untitled by Kiran Manandhar | Source

Do you know

Last night I was with you

Your eyes were closed

Breathing deeply

Yes, you were sleeping

And didn't know I was there.

I was very close to you. Very close.

I could feel your pulse

Your breathing

You were calm and quiet

I was restless.


My fingers ran over your flesh

It was so soft, so gentle,

Couldn't help

Kissed

Your forehead, eyes, cheeks, lips…

Nothing remains here,

Your beauty will wither,

Elegance will vanish

And I won't be here to be lost in you

You won’t exist forever, nor I


I went inside you

In your heart, your mind

To etch complicated lines

Memories whispered into ears

Came out to live with life

Life that is slipping off hand

I exchanged skin and borrowed time

Searching for blouse of affection


Slowly…slowly…I entered your heart

Reached the infinite depth

Is this the Pacific Ocean?

I floated in your blood

Travelled through veins

Into the chambers of the heart

Right to left. In and out.

I was within the thick sticky fluid.

The warmth.

Then with the gushing blood I was inside your mind.

Good heavens!

Your mind is so profound

The world outside was

Just a reflection of your inner world


Last night, I was with you, within you.

You were sleeping and didn't know

I was inside. I was outside

Lost inside, found outside

In the deep silence of yours

I entered the universe

Yes, you really did not know,

Last night I was pretty deep inside you.

You were asleep but I was awake

Travelling in your eternal world

More by this Author


Comments 75 comments

Ken Snowdon 2 years ago

This is a brilliant piece my poetic friend. And being your first at that time, simply profound and stunning. Love can affect us so deeply, we want to be in the presence of our lover night and day, we want to swim in her affection, drown in her perfection. This journey you took yourself on within the realms of her physical being enlightened you on her amazing soul and beauty you feel for her. Well done, bravo. Voted up and shared.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal Author

@Dreamseaker, this is one of the best compliments for this poem. Thank you very much.

@Rosemary, I appreciate your interpretation. Thank you very much.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Just as beautiful as the first time around. Total oneness with your love, both in body and in spirit. You are no longer you but a part of her.

That was a tough feeling to get across but you did it so well.


dreamseeker2 3 years ago

Wow! Pretty powerful piece! : ) Beauty in poetry and passion in its purest, raw form. Most girls would give anything to be loved like this...great poem!! Had to be voted up and then some.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal Author

@Suzettenaples, thanks for your comment here, there, everywhere. When I wrote this, I did not know I was writing a poem. Thanks for appreciating my work.

@Gypsy, thank you very much for reading and appreciating the poet's work. Cheers


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Passionately poetic. From this poem one could tell that a poet was emerging.


suzettenaples 3 years ago

Wow! If this is one of your first poems, I'd say you are a natural born poet-and writing this in your second language really is impressive, Vinaya. I love the images and metaphors you use and this flows do well. Love this!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hi BongSantos,

I appreciate your interpretation. Thanks for reading closely.

Regards


BongSantos profile image

BongSantos 4 years ago from Philippines

Was it my wild imagination that made me feel semblant eroticism in your poem? Your love journey into her very soul was full of passion expressed with beautiful words. I'm happy to have paid you a visit.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Angel, the girl was sleeping, I did not wait to ask her name after the shot.

Cheers


Angelme566 profile image

Angelme566 4 years ago

Soulful ,who that you? the girl in the picture ? and she's beautiful. Voted up !


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

@Onlooker, thanks for your your wonderful comment.

@Audrey, I'm blessed and honored by your presence on my pages, here, there, everywhere.

Cheers


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

This is just such a beautiful write that I came back for another read--


onlooker 4 years ago

This is good..brilliant even. What a way to observe and feel, awesome stuff Vinaya. Well done and thank you.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hello Justin, thanks for coming back.

Cheers


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

you're welcome vinaya. I'm off to check out your latest!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hi Justin, thanks for stopping by.

Cheers


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

good list of poets, Vinaya. I follow all of them, but one, and I swill remedy that....



biancaalice profile image

biancaalice 4 years ago from Southern California

Great job! Voted up and awesome!


American View profile image

American View 4 years ago from Plano, Texas

I am not a poet nor can I write poetry. Very nice work. Up and awesome


Jrandol62 profile image

Jrandol62 4 years ago from Where ever the road takes me....

Good stuff!! Kathmandu may be on my bucket list of towns to visit. I want to climb to Everest base camp before God calls me home!! Voted up and awesome!!


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

Creativity in growth shining through.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

This is so beautiful, to journey through the mind of the one you love! amazing! voted up!


ThePracticalMommy profile image

ThePracticalMommy 4 years ago from United States

Absolutely stunning imagery! This is an outstanding, beautiful poem, Vinaya! Voted up and beautiful!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

And you say you know/knew nothing about poetry? I dont believe it. This is beautiful and moving.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

This is just so beautiful Vinaya!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Vinaya, this is beautiful! I think you have poetry running through you veins. You definitely know how to write verse! :-)


Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

Ian Dabasori Hetr 4 years ago from Papua New Guinea

Just amazing. great piece of literary work. Voted up..


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Wow! For someone who knew nothing about poetry, as you said in your introduction, this is brilliant! I was taken on quite a wave of emotion with every phrase. You put this together so beautifully, Vinaya. Wow. Voted up, interesting, awesome, and, of course, beautiful! Sharing!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hi Angel, thanks for your compliments.


angel 4 years ago

It moves a reader !


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hello Sheila, thank you very much.


sheilanewton profile image

sheilanewton 4 years ago from North Shields, UK

Voted up and across. Fantastic poetry, Vinaya.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Hello Jackie, thanks for sharing your views on writing. I'll love to read more from you.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

Very interesting poem, also that you write story form which I do too but I only started writing poetry about two years ago but since then it is my love. You have a very special style.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal Author

Radha, thank you very much.


radhapriestess profile image

radhapriestess 4 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

Some beautiful imagery in this poem. Very heart felt.


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

you're welcome, Vinaya. it's always nice to read your stuff


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

hello pennyoftheheaven, thank you very much.


pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand

Wow what a beautiful journey you took me on Awesome Thanks!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

Hello PDX, thanks for reading and leaving a wonderful comment.


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

wow! Amazing! Voted up awesome and beautiful!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

shanaya thanks for your wonderful words of appreciation.

Well my another account Binaya Ghimire was not banned. I wrote to the Hub team to terminate it. I replaced B with V because I opted to use correct English spelling for my Sanskrit name.


shanaya profile image

shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

Hello Vinaya! Full of Passion and Wonderful as well. Loved it. Your chosen words are perfect to make it a Piece. Thanks for sharing with us.:)

voted up, awesome, interesting, beautiful.

P.S! Sorry for asking but Why your another ID {@Binaya ghimire} is banned from here?

With Respect

from SHANAYA:)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

Frank, I'm ready to take to bed (I'm tired and it is already 10 pm). Your beautiful comment will take me into sweet dream.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

This poem by far the best one I read today Up and awesome


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

Sueswan, I feel your warmth in a chilly day in Kathmandu. Thanks for being here.


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Vinaya

"I floated in your blood

Travelled through veins

Into the chambers of the heart

Right to left. In and out.

I was within the thick sticky fluid."

Amazing imagery! Beautiful and profound.

Voted up, up and away!

Have a wonderful day.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

qlcoach, wow that was wonderful. Thank you very much.


qlcoach profile image

qlcoach 5 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

Yes to the power of Love that transcends the body and reaches the soul. Here's to the Love-Light that protects, heals, comforts, and sustains until it is time to merge into the blue horizon. Peace....Gary.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

@lyns thanks for coming back.

@Sunnie thank you very much for your beautiful comment.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Passion beyond the physical...mind, body, and spirit..very beautiful!

Sunnie


lyns profile image

lyns 5 years ago from USA

@Vinaya Ghimire, You're most welcome, love how you handled all the @'s in one, good idea. Take care hope you had a good one.. 11/2 9p-----


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

@AEvans

@makusr

@Ubani

@Radhapriestess

Thanks for your lovely comment.

Manoj you remember that line...thank you my friend


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

Imaginative, awesome and profound. Great poem


radhapriestess 5 years ago

Very beautiful imagery. Very profound. Excellent.


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Vinaya,

Greetings from MAKUSR. What a poem you have written my friend. Very emotional and sensuous. Pleased to see exchange of skin and blouse of affection...

Lots of Love,

MAKUSR


AEvans profile image

AEvans 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Very passionate! Beautiful expression of heart and soul.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

@lyns

@rosika

@sonia05

@Happyboomernurse

@jenubouka

@Movie Master

Thanks for being with me in this journey of love and passion. Thanks for your tremendous support.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Wonderful expresion of love and passion.

Voting up.


jenubouka 5 years ago

The expression of the poem glides ever last to love's fatal touch. Your knack for words is incredible, thank you for sharing.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I loved this poem which speaks to anyone who has ever deeply loved and wanted to get inside their love's body, mind and heart. And the photos were stunning.

Voted up, awesome, beautiful and interesting. Good luck in the contest.


sonia05 profile image

sonia05 5 years ago from india

simply awesome!!! Very poetic,romantic,heart felt and superbly wonderful!!! What a great way to love and understand your beloved!!

voted up!


rosika profile image

rosika 5 years ago

This poem is written so well vinaya...very passionate! voted interesting, beautiful and awesome!


lyns profile image

lyns 5 years ago from USA

You're so welcome, thank you for sharing have a great evening, good night it's 2am in the morning, lol 11/2/11 2:06am


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

@Denise

@lyns

Thanks for being with me. Thanks for your lovely comment.


lyns profile image

lyns 5 years ago from USA

Excellent passion inside and outside, I love the way you went deep with being inside the mind, so passion for this poem to be 2000, sounds like today, it so much passion loved it thanks for sharing. Have a good evening. lyns 11/1/11 11:52


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Oh my goodness, Vinaya-passionate and awesome. I really was captivated by both the poem and the outstanding photos. Thanks for sharing!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal Author

@nenytridiana

@chanroth

@The Suburban Poet

@Flora

@Rosemary

Thanks for being with me.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Beautifully written and very profound.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

this is beautiful. I love how wrote this over a decade ago and still the poetry seems fresh.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

Awesome man.... great passion here...


chanroth profile image

chanroth 5 years ago from California, USA

Very beautiful! Vote up!


nenytridiana profile image

nenytridiana 5 years ago from Probolinggo - Jawa Timur - Indonesia

Beautiful! the passion of mind traveling. Thank you vinaya.

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