Proper English And Writing!
Some of us write,
Not because we write well.
Some of us write,
Because we have a story to tell.
Some write to prove,
They have the skill.
Some have the tools,
But lack the “goodwill”.
It’s too bad their education,
Hasn’t provided experience.
But their ego inflation,
Feeds their belligerence.
With their silly pea-brain,
Revealing small thoughts so vain,
They’ll carp and complain,
Of their silly disdain.
They admonish any blemish.
Foolish, priggish, boorish,
Hoggish and snobbish-
Is their insistence on perfect English.
I’d rather have a scratchy image,
From days of yore,
Than futuristic quality,
That reveals nothing more.
But they look down their nose,
At the true poet’s prose,
But the dew falls on a turd,
The same as a rose.
They Shoot Canoes Don't They?
Patrick F. McManus was born in 1933 and raised on a farm in Sandpoint, Idaho, which is located in a valley between two ranges of the Rocky Mountains.
He saved enough money from construction work to get through his freshman year at Washington State College in Spokane, Washington.
McManus writes mostly about his outdoor adventures from his childhood with semi-fictional characters such as his old woodsman mentor Rancid Crabtree, his childhood friends "Crazy" Eddie Muldoon and Retch Sweeney, and his dog Strange. He is also a regular contributor to Outdoor Life and Field & Stream.
Many of his dialogues with Rancid Crabtree were written very well. Pat McManus can write with the best. He projects the colloquialisms of fictional character of Rancid Crabtree so wonderfully.
But I think you can see that the message is more than it's presentation.
Sample a taste of Patrick McManus with a few lines from "The Fibricators". On coming out of their favorite fishing hole with a beautiful string of fish, Rancid and Pat are met by unsavory characters that they would rather not have frequent the fishing hole:
"What'd you take them fish on?" one of the men asked.
Got any pickled sow's yars with ya?" Rancid says. "Thet's the only thang these fish'll bite on."
"Yars?" the man said.
"Pickled sow's ears," I translated.
"No, we ain't got any of them," one of the other fellers put in. "but we got some mighty fine flies."
"Wall, good luck to ya," Rancid said, starting to walk away. Then he stopped and turned and said, "Say, iffen you fellers see maw big black dog, Wuff, would you mind haulin' him back to town? He can find his own way home from thar."
"Oh, I reckon," a man said without any great show of enthusiasm.
"I'd be beholdin' to ya," Rancid said. "Course, if Wuff be all tore up when you find him, jist put him out of his misery."
"Tore up?" another man said.
"Yep. I 'spect thet big cat might of kilt him outright, but mebby not."
"Jist an ol' mountain lion. But don't worry none, cause they almost never attacks a hoomin bean lessen they's hurt an' starvin'."
The three men faltered in the assembly of their rods.
"Come to think of it, " Rancid continued in a musing manner, "thet ol' cat did seem a bit on the thin side, didn't you think so, boy?"
"You could count his ribs," I said.
Rancid raised an eyebrow at me in an expression that said, "That ain't bad."
What I'm saying here is, the message is not the punctuation.
For foreign readers, this is broken English above and it's all written phonetically - as we hear the words.
I am amazed at the bilinguals here on the hubpages.
They struggle with English as a second or third or fourth language.
I would rather have the story than the proper punctuation, spelling, "sanitizing".
I've often thought about sending someone the correction that I see. I would do that. I'm not sure how long I could volunteer to help with "proper English", but I could try for those who wish to improve their skills in English.
But- I love their work as it is! And that is why I have not offered before. I certainly would not want to offend.
God bless all of you who can speak another language. I wish I could.
Some scholars teach their students the sentence structure, punctuation, and all need to hone the tools for the perfect writers. The book companies, as well as kings, will treat the writers as kings.
I would rather hear simple prose on a dirty sidewalk about a life that's lived.
And so, I wrote the following in honor of simple people who I regard as royalty.
Maybe they never spent a day in school.
But I wish, I wish we could could hear and read some words from the men and women of prisons, street life, and those who died in mines chained together and dying together. Not because I relish in another's suffering, but because I do not want to dismiss their suffering.
So the poem below is written phonetically. Or is it fonetically?
God bless the weak and heavy laden!
Crossing The Street
Ain’t got no time,
To make up no silly rhyme!
Dey say I done a crime.
Dey out dere damn mind!
Dey just some mean folk,
Makin’ a hard life a joke.
For demselves to feel good,
Dey just give me a poke!
Dose peoples come down on dose,
Wearing ragged clothes.
It’s a wonder dey don’t drown,
De way dey hold dere nose!
Dey always cross the street,
Befo we ever meet.
Dey won’t let me eat,
Anywhere dey eat.
But dere will be a day,
When I hear my God say,
I heard my chile pray,
Let’s go home today.
And my skin won’t bother Him,
And my clothes won’t turn His nose.
And I won’t need no money,
Or have any other woes.
And I will climb,
And I will drink,
from His fountain.
And God’s gonna erase,
All the pain on dis here face.
And God’s gonna wash my mind,
Of all this mess I leave behind.
Cause dey ain’t gonna be,
No prisons up there.
Ain’t gonna be no demons,
Tryin to scare.
And we’ll have lots,
Of real good food to eat.
And nobody gonna need,
To cross no street!
"I" Before "E" And Sometimes Why?
It’s “I” before “E” as in,
fierce, collie, die, friend, and believe,
And it’s “E” before “I” after c as in,
ceiling, receipt, ceilidh, and deceive.
But of course it’s “I” before “E” after c:
As in science, sufficient, and species.
But why not spell as you smell it,
And as it sounds as in “feces”?
And then you have “E” before “I”,
not preceded by c as in:
weird, vein, foreign, eider,and seize,
Oh please! Oops! Or is it it “pliese, or “pleise”,
How about “puhleeze”, as in “sneeze”?
From the mnemonic plague came the mnemonic rule,
To make most us of look like a fool.
"I" before "E",
Except after C,
Or when sounded as "A,"
As in neighbour and weigh.
Ebenezer Cobham Brewer came up with this rhyme.
And I wish the man was still doing time.
If there’s any rule for “I” and “E”,
It’s “I” before “E”
when it wants to be.
“E” before “I” as in neighbor and weigh.
Well I say neigh! Neigh, I say!
But here are examples of “E” before “I”.
But all these exceptions can make a scholar cry!
- weigh (weight)
Now here is “ei” but it sounds like “ee”.
Or not an "ee" sound, but spelled "ie":
- hierarchy, hieroglyphics
Crazy man, just crazy!
Now we have a “Y” that sounds like an “E”.
It’s enough to drive a bi-linguist crazEE!
Oh sure! There’s the “Y” that sounds like a “Y”.
And all I can think of is WHY?
I feel like poking myself in the eye!
EYE, I, EI, IE…WHY? WI? WEI? WEYE?
There are 23 other letters.
We’ve touched on three.
I’ve studied all my life,
And it’s easy to see.
So, I’ll touch on the “O” before I go,
I’ll give an example so you will know.
The architects of the English language,
Were, honestly, pretty slow.
Two “Os” with different sounds,
Are in the single word, “moron”.
And that, in itself,
is a lot to dwell on.
Oops! Gosh darn!
Now I see too, as scholars can tell,
“That’s a lot,
upon which, to dwell!”
You see, you never end a proposition,
With a preposition.
And this complex English language,
Is just another “war of attrition”.
The word sleuths and the language police,
May gasp, roll eyes, swoon, and faint,
At someone using the slangy word “ain’t”.
Well, I can’t! Ain’t, ain’t, ain’t, ain’t, ain’t!
Gallagher - Our Proper English
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