Prose - A Poet's Obsessions

Vomiting talk on love, greed and politics
Obsessing about pain, loneliness and metaphysics
Pretending to be a prophet in my unslumbering mind
Wandering over to you to let you in on a revelatory find
That you may or may not want but will come to know
While you raise the glass to your sweet red lips trying not to show
How bored yet fascinated you are with the next word or forty
Because it’s life before it happens or a coda to some other story
Told in a way that you cannot ignore because it’s the truth that blows
Flooded with the tears that you dried before they stained your pretty clothes
To mask the vacuousness of Saturday night boys who can only look
Acting cock sure in banter they memorized from a dead man's book
No more or less meaningful than anything I’ve ever said or could reveal
Of all things that I believe about life that I can no longer conceal
From my solitary existence where no man can stomach or stand
The constant state of thought rejecting out of hand
Trendy desperation of approval and shrewd thievery
Faith sales, unkindness and notorious celebrity
The things that make me sick with disgust over the human race
As I run through the cavities of another poet's dark place
I see men bragging and living on vicarious pleasure
Accepting ill-gotten gain for an earthly treasure
And emotionally immature desires fueling a mob’s fury
In reckless celebration causing injury
I see the down-hearted unable to find love
Because they are different or unattractive
I see two men born of the same mother
Begging on Christmas day leaning on one another
I see the bitterness I feel towards a woman
The one I thought was the only one
I laugh as I pass the things I once desired
And sneer at the people I once admired
I see adults talk while my child sings
And block my view to rearrange their things
I see a happy girl on her wedding day
But soon to be divorced with nothing to say
I see the only thing that makes people able to cope
Is to drink, smoke and fuck while death tightens the rope
I see good people adopt a young boy
And then cancer robbing them of their joy
I see reality TV and a material girl become rich
Because of a sex tape and being a bitch
I see a man go to war and learn about the horror
And then speak loudly with truth that causes furor
I see praying, evangelizing and moralizing
By men of sin taking advantage of true believing
I see selfish behavior in search of a feeling
Become useless activity devoid of meaning
But then I touch you and you turn to me
With the look of love that I want to see
And I wonder why I burden you
With the injuries my mind cannot subdue
I continue to kick the apple core in your garden
And curse the snake that made my mind harden
As your desperate beauty dances within my burning soul
Mocking it almost as if superficiality is in control
A lightness that incubates within the flame
Impervious to all its trauma and pain
Waiting for madness to end
And for sanity to begin

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Comments 11 comments

snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

I'm learning to love your 'raves' Suburban Poet, this one speaks with such eloquence, such rage, and that driving rhythm you have perfected so artfully. Regards, snakeslane

profile image

V Qisya 5 years ago

Hi, Mark!

My favorite lines, "But then I touch you..cannot subdue".

Great work! Simply awesome! Voted up and away :D

pmccray profile image

pmccray 5 years ago from Utah

Beautifully done, thank you for sharing. Voted up, marked beautiful.

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 5 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

What I always learned about everything I see

Is to not do those things I don't like to see

What I decided after I witnessed an awful story

Is to make a peace with my inability to change history

Write it down

Then let go all of my worry

Let all flown

Before it turn into fury

Try to lean my trust on humanity

So I can have my own sanity

Until later...

When finally

I see the way to solved life without falter

Without another misery

Your words are echoes inside my head, Mark.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@snakeslane - Thank you. This kind of thing unnerves my Mother. She reads it and say's "everyone thinks you are so angry and disturbed at times." I guess I was such a sweet little boy and now I'm plumming the depths with my poet friends! No wrist slitting here... I just feel like this is where we can tell the truth. Everyone is frustrated. You hear it all the time at work. Most people just don't bother to write it all down.

@Verita - Thank you again. I'm glad you told us your name. It means you are becoming comfortable here on Hubpages. You should. You belong. I guess with that line I am acknowledging that my intensity can wear a lover out who just wants a nice quiet evening at home.

@pmccray - Thank you AGAIN! You are too wonderful.

@Freya - What can one say but feel humbleness when their own words inspire another poet's mind. Thank you and I'm glad you're back and away from "the office." We need you here..... I will reread what you said because it seems to be a solution of my dilemma of letting myself go completely exploring the darkness of life or finding the balance with the light...

mindwaves profile image

mindwaves 5 years ago from Mumbai

felt like a tour within my own dark mind ~As I run through the cavities of another poet's dark place

The only thing to do Is to drink, smoke and fuck! how clearly the futility is seen.

But just like you ended..


Waiting for madness to end

And for sanity to begin

I am fascinated.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@mindwaves - Thank you for commenting and following. But what is sanity? To remain superficial and numb or to experience the pain and suffering even if it is not your own? What is life but the extremes? I cannot be this way in my every day life yet it is as if I run to the dark not caring what I may find because the sensations are what I crave.

mindwaves profile image

mindwaves 5 years ago from Mumbai

True we cannot be this way in our every day life..If I knew what is sanity i wouldn't wait...but like you said, seems once we've seen what we have in the dark, can't help but go back there...truth is in the extremes.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I have a job that requires much discipline (I'm a CPA) and I keep my cool; but I love Hubpages and feel this is who I am... I wish I could be this way all the time but in reality I am because I'm always thinking about it...

jravity1 profile image

jravity1 5 years ago from bellevue, MI

This was a brilliant piece...Your words twist and bend into each other at a staggering rate. Bravo to you.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@jravity1 - Thanks man. "Brilliant." Well what can I say to that? I appreciate a word of praise that I hope you don't say lightly. This is flavored by an intensity of my own experience lately and I'm trying to not be so hard on people around me in my private thoughts. There is a poet here by the name of Nellieana who is such a snow flake of joy and she has tried to soften me up but here is where I am right now. I find these sort of things inspiring me to write so I'm not going to question the revelation of my thoughts because even though I've confided here with those who would read my words it is true that those who have provoked negative responses from me have no idea of these things as I continue to publically grin and bear it....

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