Prose - Be Who You Are My Son

This is about being who you are. You may not agree with everything but it is flavored by my own experience. It is a hard concept to be able to love a woman yet remain independent and still give her the passion and love that is needed. It takes a very strong person. But it is about respect....

They want you
But it’s hard to tell
They have their fun
But draw from your own well
They want to follow
But will you lead?
Do you stand for something?
Or do you drive at their speed?
They will be drawn
To your mind
Let it develop
Be your own kind
They want different
Not the same
You can be that
Play your own game
You have to be
Who you are
It may not be time
As the road is so far
You are my son
And I know your power
You may be uncertain
But in time you will flower
The people around you
They come and go
They are not important
It is not their show
Each moment
Is a challenge
When their desires
You scavenge
Forget all that
Who are they?
Are they God?
Only if you obey
What am I saying?
The secret of existence
Is to live free
And not at their insistence
She will find you
When you create your domain
You will not be alone
Your own kind will remain
The power of a man
Is his independence
She will want to tame you
Show her calm resistance
You can love a woman
But not desperately
She must know you can leave
And live in solitary
She will admire you
If you have a life
Not if you change for her
You don’t want that kind of wife
Understand what I say
You can love and be kind
You must treat her right
You must love her mind
She will allure you
With a coy flirtation
But you are who are you are
And not her creation
You're not a dog
Or a slave
You must resist
No matter how much you crave
Live on your terms
But be her friend
She must love who you are
Or the curse will never end
The day will come
When you have the power
It may not be today
This may not be the hour
Still walk proudly
In calm assurance
Life is not a race
But it requires endurance
The Buddhists say
Suffering is caused by desire
Look inside yourself
And forget what mortals require
Listen to my words
Because I believe in you
I know you can do it
To yourself be true
When you free your mind
You will become unaffected
And while they wonder
You will be the man I expected

All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. The Suburban Poet


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Comments 10 comments

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setareh 5 years ago

This is all the more beautiful because i've felt and experienced part of this. Being who you are is easier said than done, but i'm trying my best.

Thank you for sharing!


Cutters profile image

Cutters 5 years ago from South Carolina

Beautiful Well done! I enjoyed it? Looking forward for more! Thanks for sharing.

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The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@setareh - Thank you for understanding my point. I didn't want this to appear to be a woman bashing post. I have a 14 year old son who is struggling with finding his place. But I also have a seven year old daughter and when the time is right I will speak to her about being herself and not being pressured to do things just to be accepted. It is very difficult. But the main thing is that my power as their father will be felt not as a ruler in their lives but as a support system that understands THEIR world. It is easy as an adult to say " Be Strong!" But I want them to know that I believe in them.

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setareh 5 years ago

You sound like a truly great father - following you from now on!


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The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Cutters - Thanks! I almost missed your comment...

@setareh - Well I try. It's a matter of balancing understanding with firmness when needed. I am tempted to be a friend but I know that can backfire. I have to at least try to give them advice that works; practical advice that is relevant and not based upon the self-confidence that took me years to achieve. It's a step by step process I guess but I want to show him the blueprint. I sent him the poem and he said, "That was out of the blue. You are writing poems left and right!" So this is how I responded:

"My mind never stops.

I think about you and your life and what you deal with all the time. Because I know your world is different than mine and I remember how it was when I was 14. I want you to know how I think and how I'm there for you; anytime... any place... whatever you need to talk about.

It's tough in high school because sometimes the things that are popular with the girls are different when you grow up. I remember a guy who was real popular but he was dumb as a box of rocks. The smart guys later won and he faded out because you have so much more in life as an adult than four years in high school. So you can have your fun but try to be who you are and not be concerned with what today's trend is because believe me it changes. It's better to be a trendsetter than to be trendy because trendy is like being a cork in the ocean being popped up and down. Be the ocean...."

And then he said, "Ok, I'll be the ocean..."

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setareh 5 years ago

I wish i could like comments on this site.

Be the ocean. . . i'll remember that, it's touching

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The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I guess it's the idea of being so powerful in your own being that you are undisturbed even if things are inside you or on top. You are still who you are... it's not advice meant to foster intransigence, selfishness or stubborness. On the contrary; when you are that self-confident you can change because learning is what you are; we want to be mature but how is that achieved? At times it requires the strength to discard things you believed in as the truth becomes known to you; but if you are the strong one in yourself then you can do this and move forward.

Berga profile image

Berga 5 years ago from SKIEN

awesome & useful... respectful

thank you for sharing!

quildon 5 years ago

Wise words from a father to his son.

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The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Berga - Thank you. He liked it. Especially because I took the time to say something to him in a form that his friends do not get.

@quildon - Thank you. Just trying to help him in his journey.

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