Put the Clock on Stall

Hot, young chick thinkin' about a cool and tall

And, in a blissful state, afraid of nothing at all

Potent horizons blurred the writing on the wall

Wish I may, can I please, put the clock on stall

============================

No need of formalities, just give the girl a call

Nary a thought about the ghosts down the hall

Took my chances playing catch me if I fall

Wish I may, can I please, put the clock on stall

===================================

Hastily made promises in a gown without a ball

Family tree in absentee that cast a silent pall

Union of loneliness, dark curtain would befall

Wish I may, can I please, put the clock on stall

===================================

Designs that drew blood hide from my recall

Catch a thief without remorse, she sips a cup of gall

But, the past is in arrears, gone in the long haul

Wish I may, can I please, put the clock on stall

===================================

Now with the years, I'm feelin' kinda small

Cold winds approaching, feel the coming squall

Play recast sans shadows past in life's final brawl

Wish I may, can I please, put the clock on stall

===================================

Comments 26 comments

Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Amy, fabulously and deeply profound, vulnerable and reaching for hope...you are such a fantastic Talent!!! There is nothing to add...just that I respect your ability to speak, in the most beautiful poetry; of the depth of our tender souls.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear Lucky Cats, I am one lucky cat to have your support and encouragement. Your sweet words brought tears to my eyes.

Just to let you know on a different but teary subject for me...MacGregor is still having problems, now involving his kidneys. I am on my way to the vet (yes, on Sunday...their doors are open 24/7), where they will x-ray my little man for bladder stones. Think good thoughts, Kathy. I am afraid.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Hi Amy, you say so much in this poem!

How wonderful would it be if we could put the clock on stall!

Sorry to hear MacGregor is still having problems. Of course, the vet is the only one who is able to solve it.

Take care, Amy. On my way to read your poem again.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, sweet Martie. I just got back and the vet gave me the bad news that my beloved MacGregor has bladder cancer. I am already grieving.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

I had a beloved poodle, Amy, who suffered from cancer so I know firsthand a little of what you may be feeling for MacGregor. So sorry, m'dear.

As for 'putting the clock on stall,' as you so creatively put it, I can't help but wonder ... if we could accomplish that would we stilll make many of the same mistakes again? Can't help but wonder.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yes, dear drbj, I believe we do it all over again. It seems we are programmed through genetics, upbringing and a roll of the dice.

Thank you sharing your memory of your beloved poodle; they are like babies. Suffering is unbearable.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Oh my, what bad news! I feel so sorry for you AND MacGregor. Will hold you in my thoughts, Amy, even while this will not make reality easier for you to accommodate. As in all situations, as in boxing an opponent in the ring, we are soul fighters. Our friends (and enemies) are part of the crowd, and we don't even hear them cheer or boo while we are busy to fight our opponent....

Life!

I hope your mind will become crystal clear in order for you the make the BEST decision... Never mind wrong or right - how rude this may sound - because what exactly is wrong/right - relative.... Let your peace and joy, your well-being, be the only relevant factor and do what you believe is the best for you.

Gosh, this is like being between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Hugs galore from me to you!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Amy, do you know that you are one of the few who writes poetry who I actually read from start to finish? I enter your web of words hesitantly and end up sorry that it is over. Quite the testimony to your abilities.

I am very sorry about your beloved pet; it is so hard to experience that...such a helpless feeling.

bill


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Martie. You have a heart as big as Texas and I love your concern. MacGregor would love you, too.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear dear Bill, I can always count on you to say something kind and thoughtful. Yes, pets are like babies. I've bonded with MacGregor in that way. I've just written an angry testament to his illness. Keep in mind, I just learned the diagnosis today and I hope my diatribe does not offend you. Thank you for having my back, my friend.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Hi Amy...just reading about MacGregor...it is later now...how is he doing? Do tell me via this site or email...and how are you holding up? Please, never hesitate to contact me whenever and anytime you want a friend to talk to. Prayers coming your way, my dear friend.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

The vet says that due to the 2 centimeter size of the tumor in one month's time, it is inoperable. She mentioned an NSAID called Piroxicam used now in bladder cancer in canines. It helps first with pain and inflammation with bladder cancer, and in some dogs, brings remission. Like all NSAIDS there is often stomach upset, vomiting, etc, including the risk of perforated stomach ulcers. The vet was very kind and felt I was making the right choices for MacGregor. I may try the Piroxicam. Mac will stay on an antibiotic to keep the infection (common with bladder cancer) that causes swelling and pain, to a minimum. I will stay in contact with the vet, as she always responses quickly to my emails. As for me, well, you know, Kathy. I have a headache from all the crying I've done. I'll take each day as it comes. I'm concerned as my mothers needs are time-consuming and I do not want to leave Mac now for more than the necessary errands I must take care of. The vet believes MacGregor has only has this tumor for the month he has had symptoms. She said generally these cancers are very aggressive. I am angry, Kathy, as my mother wants my help, even inviting me to move in with her, but without MacGregor. When he passes, I have no interest now in moving in with her. I know my anger is misplaced, but I feel it nonetheless. I'm just messed up. I feel like everything has been ripped from me; my marriage (although I wanted the divorce), my home, my job, now my sweet pup. The loss is monumental and it just won't stop. I'm sick of "bucking up". I'm sorry, Kathy, but I know I can be honest with you without judgement. Thank you for asking and listening to me with your beautiful, open heart. I love you, my friend. MacGregor would adore you.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

I love this poem.. what great poetry.

sharing

Debbie


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You're a doll, my friend, Debbie. Thank you!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. This is wonderful. Yes, that ole' clock just keeps on ticking. Wish I had lots more time but I'm always running out of it. God stand watch over MacGregor. Sorry to hear of this. Be brave don't forget in those wonderful fields of Heaven he won't suffer any more and will be running free and happy. Give him a hug and tell him I care. God bless.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks Gypsy, Yep, that infernal tick-tocking clock is a constant reminder. When I was young, I didn't hear it, but now, it sounds a whole lot louder. Irony is abundant. Bless you


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Your poetry really moves me. I am so sorry to hear about MacGregor.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Pop, on both counts. Writing helps me at this highly emotional time. I appreciate your sincerity and caring. Your words mean a lot to me.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Amy, Sometimes we just 'wanna say, " That's it i've had enough. " and we do want the clock to stall, but something inside drives us to continue the fight and i know you will. I lost my dog, Blackie and the hurt was deep. I found, ( After awhile ) there was another Puppy who needed me. Things can only get better for you, losing a home, a husband, a job and an ailing Mother is enough ALREADY. Take care. I love your spirit, it shines in poetry..Hugs.. Ruby


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear Ruby, You are a gem. I've shared most of my life with a dog or two or three and many other critters, too. Honestly, Ruby, I'm getting too old for the energy expended in taking care of a pet. Realistically, I'll never own another home and the trials and tribulations of apartment living with a pet are trying, not to mention the added expense (even my monthly rent is higher), and starting over is just too much for me now. Mainly, I can't take any more of the inevitable loss. Yes, they add so much to life, but I was more resilent as a young person. It seemed easier to roll with the tide of life. I'm not giving up, just facing the facts as I see them. The responsibilities of pet care are many and I take every responsibility seriously. I was helping a very ill neighbor at the apt building where I live. She is only 48 and has severe lupus. She is now undergoing chemo for her disease (I didn't know chemo was protocol for lupus), but I started out walking her rescue dog. Between MacGregor and her dog, I was out walking the neighbor all day, everyday, no matter the weather. Soon, I was doing her shopping, running for Rx's (once at 4 a.m.), cleaning, laundry and losing my mind. I had no life of my own. When I had to stop, there was an army of gov't employees (she is on disability)filing in and out everyday to take up where I left off. She had to find another home for her dog. She burned through many RN's and CNA's as her needs were many and she was demanding. At this stage of life, I don't want to begin with something that will (if anything happens to me) become a burden for anyone else. Simpler is better. Hugs to you, my lovely friend.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..such profound depth in all of your writing - most poetry doesen't have this kind of narrative depth - as you know I put a lot of it into my writing so I appreciate and admire those other writers who do the same - and I guess I read the title wrong - I thought it said - Put the clock on Stahl - and I yelped - yeah Amy you go girl - you tell that hussy Leslie where to get off!!!!!

lol

lake erie time 10:12pm and yes a daily requirement is a hug for you and the Mac Man


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Mr. C. Who would have ever thought I'd write poetry? It's such a trip trying something I'd never even thought about. And, just think, it was after I started reading your work and receiving your encouraging, poetic comments that inspired my first attempt. I consider what I've done here as still "attempts", but I keep trying to reach greater depth, and I'm having fun at that. Not a bad gig, I'd say! I think Leslie Stahl might even be jealous!!!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

I left a nice comment at Sushmita's Scribblers Den on FB which you should read when you get a chance - Sushmita has linked one of your recent and most fantastic poems Amy - lake erie time 2:33am and I know one thing for sure Leslie Stahl has stopped talking to me because she knows you and I are 'buds' - lol (and esteemed colleagues here at the Hub)


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I saw that touching comment, Colin, and I sincerely appreciate the kindness. It is a great feeling to have written something that resonates and has meaning for others. Writing is all about connecting...kind of like the proverbial tree that falls in an uninhabited forest. Does it make a sound if no one hears it? Being heard and understood are the greatest gifts we give to one another.


klarawieck 4 years ago

No, Amy. You can't stop time! If you did we wouldn't be able to enjoy your impressive talent which has obviously evolved from experiencing a lifetime of pain and pleasure. Your words are like brushstrokes painting a vivid picture. Congrats! It is beautiful.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear klarawieck, You couldn't have said anything nicer at a time when I need it the most. My beautiful companion, a Scottish Terrier named MacGregor was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. I am inconsolable at the thought of life without him, which is inevitable, but nevertheless, a crushing blow. Thank you for your kindness.

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