Questionable Acts

Time stands still as my emotions leaks tears through the cracks.

Driven by the pain causing me to commit questionable acts.

Tear levels are rising.

My self control is comprimising.

The tears slowly hit the floor.

Moving me to not wanting to live anymore.

Reality sets in and my head starts to spin.

My body is driving me to commit the ultimate sin.

Feeling emotionally cold with the seductive desire to die.

My mind is telling me this but I can't figure out why.

Developing rapid cycling moods to my despair.

Feeling frustrated as I run my fingers through my hair.

Tears continue to fall out of my eyes into an abyss.

I fear for my life when I'm like this.

My pills are softly calling my name.

Just one swallow and in a few minutes I will no longer be able to feel the pain.

I look into the mirror but I don't recognize the woman there.

My moods change into roulette and the aftermath is not fair.

From the bottle to my lips, I silence my pills.

Thinking about how many times that I have unsuccessfully ran one of these drills.

I give into temptation.

My plan aborts when my tongue feels the bitter sensation.

Footsteps are coming down the hall.

"Hey mom!" My son begins to call.

I swiftly take a mother's stance.

And will remain in emotional disguise and hope that my questionable act will never get another chance.

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Comments 5 comments

sassyk73 profile image

sassyk73 2 years ago from Milwaukee, WI Author

Thank you Dream On....


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago

I read such vivid words that leave me caring and feeling your pain.I am so glad you write and share your thoughts.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Sassy,

It is SO great to see you. I saw you had a book published back in August. THAT IS SO COOL! I've got to check it out. I always love your writing. It has helped me more times than you know to understand a loved one. Thank you always for that!

Sharyn


drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 5 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

Everyone has questionable acts, it's what you do with them when they manifest. I am always availble to talk to. God Bless you...


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...well this is a tough uncompromising and raw piece of writing and as always you write with such purity and poetic conviction ...... and it's left me emotionally drained and breathless ...indeed.

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