Quotations for Laughs #25 --- Self-Made Man

Self-Made Man Humor

The husband who washes the dishes is a self-maid man.

Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia, Pa., Dec. 28, 1907.

They say the man is self-made, but they never mention that his wife almost overworked herself helping.

—Jack Warwick, Toledo Blade, Toledo, Ohio, April 12, 1945.

A self-made man is like a bad egg; all right until broke.

—Grady Imes, The Starkville News, Starkville, Miss., April 11, 1941.

Some men are trying to be self-made but they never get finished with digging the cellar.

—George V. Hobart, The Comet, Johnson City, Tenn., Jan. 28, 1912.

Many a self-made man has left the attic unfinished.

---John P. Medbury, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Oct. 7, 1929.

Some self-made men must have bribed the building inspector.

—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, Oct. 24, 1974.

The trouble with most self-made men is that they adore their makers.

—Howard C. “Buck” Herzog, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Feb. 17, 1956.

The trouble with some self-made men is that they insist on giving everybody their recipe.

—Jackie Mason, Parade, New York, N.Y., Nov. 30, 1969.

When a fellow brags that he is a self-made man, you can see where there is a lot of remodeling to be done.

—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., May 20, 1944.

Many self-made men are top-heavy.

Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn., June 6, 1922.

Some self-made men are just the average run of the mill type with built-in publicity agents.

—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, June 6, 1953.

The self-made man, so called, shows that self in his case is sometimes spelled without an "s."

Louisville Herald, Louisville, Ky., July 24, 1906.

The self-made man will command more respect when he equips himself with a silencer.

Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Sept. 12, 1963.

It takes a woman to add the finishing touches to a self-made man.

—John P. Medbury, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., July 6, 1930.

Unfortunately, too many self-made men didn't take enough time to do a first class job.

Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Sept. 30, 1955.

Isn't it funny that self-made men are never discovered until they are named for some public position?

—Edwin E. Naugle, St. Petersburg Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., Nov. 3, 1921.

Self-made men are the greatest braggarts. Otherwise nobody would suspect that they had ever been made at all.

Intermountain Catholic, Salt Lake City, Utah, Nov. 7, 1908.

Some self-made men should get themselves patented to prevent there ever being any others like them.

Great Falls Tribune, Great Falls, Mont., July 26, 1940.

You don’t often hear of a man who has been married ten or twenty years having courage to claim he is self-made.

—Jack Warwick, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh, Pa., Nov. 28, 1936.

A lot of self-made men would have fared much better had they left the contract to somebody else.

Macon County Times, Lafayette, Tenn., Dec. 1, 1932.

The self-made man is usually made of self-rising stuff.

—Emmet Rodwell Calhoun, Louisville Times, Louisville, Ky., Dec. 3, 1904.

He's a smart self-made man who admits that his wife bossed the job.

Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Dec. 10, 1954.

Self-made man: One who goes through many alterations after he is married.

—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., Dec. 14, 1944.

Some self-made men illustrate the example of what happens when you trust a job to an amateur.

—Clarin D. Ashby, Uintah Basin Standard, Roosevelt, Utah, Jan. 11, 1973.

Little Wilbur’s father was talking about himself again.

“You see, son,” he boasted, “I am a self-made man.”

The eight-year-old nodded. “That’s what I like about you, pop,” said the kid. “You always take the blame for everything.”

—Mark Hellinger, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., April 7, 1946.

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