Quotations for Laughs #37 --- Wedding Anniversaries
Wedding Anniversary Jokes
Office grouch calls his 25th wedding anniversary the rest period between rounds.
—Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 10, 1972.
Husband: “Why of course I know it’s our anniversary–I just wanted you to mention it first to prove that YOU remembered.”
—Ace Pursuiter, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Nov. 18, 1945.
Golden anniversary: Fifty years united in holy deadlock.
—Ted Cook, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Feb. 20, 1949.
A Golden Anniversary is when you wonder who those two people are in your wedding picture.
—Robert Orben, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Jan. 27, 1974.
When a married pair celebrates their wedding anniversary, these days it is not so much to show what they have achieved as to show what they have SURVIVED.
—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Jan. 28, 1930.
There's nothing like a 40th wedding anniversary to make a fellow wonder what's going on. And on, and on and on.
—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., Aug. 17, 1969.
Happily married is the man who never remembers his wedding anniversary and never gets into trouble because he doesn't.
—O.A. Battista, Look, Des Moines, Iowa, Nov. 15, 1955.
A most impressive evidence of tolerance is a golden wedding anniversary.
—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., June 26, 1973.
A wife can often surprise her husband on their wedding anniversary by simply mentioning the date.
—A.A. Schilling, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Aug. 3, 1958.
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
—Franklin P. Jones, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Dec. 7, 1958.
A 20th wedding anniversary is difficult to celebrate. It's too soon to brag and too late to complain.
—San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., Dec. 13, 1973.
Any man who forgets his wedding anniversary just wasn’t listening.
—Wesley S. Izzard, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, March 22, 1958.
The best way to surprise your husband on your anniversary is to mention it.
—San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., Nov. 3, 1970.
Don't worry if you miss your wife's anniversary–you'll catch it later.
—San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., Dec. 20, 1968.
There's nothing like a 40th wedding anniversary to make a fellow wonder what's going on. And on, and on and on.
—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., Aug. 17, 1969.
Before criticizing your wife’s fondness for bargain hunting, remember that it may have been her reason for selecting you.
—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Feb. 18, 1945.
These people who marry and divorce quite frequently must live with the haunting fear that almost any day may be an anniversary of some sort.
—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., July 25, 1968.
A man should get an annual physical checkup on his birthday, and have his head examined on his wedding anniversary.
—Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Aug. 27, 1963.
