Funny Quotes about Getting Older

Remember Way Back When....

Many friends have said, "just wait until you hit 40, you'll start feeling your age." Well, suffice it to say, things do seem to start changing a bit when we approach middle age, and yes 40 is around middle age, unless you are planning on living to be near one hundred.

The vision goes, joints ache, things fall out of place, and you just don't seem to care so much what other people think of you (a great perk, by the way), and it makes you an interesting conversationalist. It's also fun to embarrass your teenagers out in public, and you thought you'd never be able to get back at your parents for doing it to you.

One thing can definitely be said about aging, being that kid that lives inside of you can be fun once in a while, and it helps keep you young at heart. Enjoy Quotes on Aging and for those in the over the hill crowd , you are sure to find some that sound like someone you know...

A Prayer for Growing Old Gracefully

Lord, Thou knowest better than I myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.

Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all; but Thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains; they are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cock-sureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet, for a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people; and give, O Lord, the grace to tell them so............................Amen.

~ Author Unknown ~

~ Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~ Mark Twain

 

~ All diseases run into one, old age. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

~ Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~ Mark Twain

~ Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~ Bob Hope

~ We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. ~ Author Unknown

~ Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~ Author Unknown

~ Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life. ~ Robert Southey

~ A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~ Robert Frost

~ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie

Bill Cosby on Turning 50

~ When you become senile, you won't know it.~ Bill Cosby

~ Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~ Dorothy Fulheim

~ The years teach much which the days never knew. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

~ Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. ~ Maurice Chevalier

~ None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~ Henry David Thoreau

~ Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~ George Bernard Shaw

~ We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it. ~ Frank A. Clark

~ Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. ~ Jim Fiebig

~ In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days long. ~ Nikita Ivanovich Panin

~ First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. ~ Leo Rosenberg

~ Age attacks when we least expect it. ~ Carrie Latet

~ A man growing old becomes a child again. ~ Sophocles

~ Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~ Chili Davis

~ Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo

~ A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~ John Barrymore

~ The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~ Jerry M. Wright

~ There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

~ Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. ~ Caryn Leschen

~ In a man's middle years there is scarcely a part of the body he would hesitate to turn over to the proper authorities. ~ E.B. White

~ The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. ~ Doug Larson

~ Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~ Sam Ewing

~ True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

~ There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~ John Glenn

~ Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. ~ Tom Stoppard

~ I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~ Author Unknown

~ We are only young once. That is all society can stand. ~ Bob Bowen

~ You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. ~ George Burns

~ The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. ~ Judith Regan

~ Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~ Tom Wilson

~ You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them. ~ Harrison Ford

~ Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~ Dan Bennett

~ The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. ~ Jason Love

~ Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. ~ Mark Twain

~ To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. ~ Oscar Wilde

~ You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. ~ Judith Viorst

Funny Old Men (Bloopers from the Movie Grumpy Old Men)

~ Life is one long process of getting tired. ~ Samuel Butler

~ Wish not so much to live long, as to live well. ~ Ben Franklin

~ Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.~ Henry Ford

~ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~ Jennifer Yane

~ Never ask old people how they are if you have anything to do that day. ~ Joe Restivo

~ Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ~ Author Unknown

~ A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. ~ Oliver W. Holmes, Sr.

~ The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. ~ Madeleine L'Engle

~ Age is a slowing down of everything except fear. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

~ The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer. ~ Joan Collins

~ Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. ~ Robert Benchley

~ Old age puts more wrinkles in our minds than on our faces. ~ Michel de Montaigne

~ Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do. ~ Golda Meir

~ Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. ~ Bill Vaughn

~ No man is ever old enough to know better. ~ Holbrook Jackson

~ Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man. ~ James Thurber

~ What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. ~ Voltaire

~ The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it. ~ Doris Day

~ Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~ Don Marquis

~ You spend 90% of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10% trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not that tired. ~ Robert Brault

~ When you reach forty you can’t do anything every day. ~ Henry “Hank” Aaron

~ After a man passes sixty, his mischief is mainly in his head. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

~ I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower. ~ Gypsy Rose Lee

~ The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde

~ I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. ~ Lady Nancy Astor

~ Men, like peaches and pears, grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

~ We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock. ~ Dave Allen

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Comments 2 comments

suz 4 years ago

very good!


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CatherineGiordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

What a wonderful job you did with the quotes about old age. You had me laughing. I have done hubs about aging and about quotes, but not half so brilliantly as you did. I'm voting up.

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